capeandcowl | 16 ➴ [voice]

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† kate bishop | hawkeye

16 ➴ [voice]

There are three days, seventeen hours and eighteen minutes until the start of the Olympics. [A beat.] Not that I'm counting or anything. It's almost comforting to see the games go on despite the wars and chaos all around us. It's a reminder that we can put our differences aside and compete in the truest and purest way imaginable, without prejudice or anything. It's just for the love of the sport.

On my must watch list is archery, fencing, shooting, artistic and rhythmic gymnastics, and the track and field events. I'll be Tivo-ing the judo and boxing, maybe the soccer, too.

Who else is excited? I can't be the only one with Olympic fever!

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Touching all up on each other while getting pretty damn close to some sensitive areas. The only way it could be gayer is if they were naked. And man, let's face it, all that spandex ain't leaving nothing to the imagination anyway.

It's only erotic if you think of it that way. You have to have it in your head going in that it's sexual in order to see it that way.

No, dude, trust me. Gay as all get out.

So you're an expert on the topic?

My brother owns a porn empire.

Uh, owned.

[. . .]

Seriously?!

Yeah. Plushrumps dot com.

Dare I even ask?

Do you want to know?

I kind of have to know now.

Puppet fetish porn.

... That can't be a real thing.

So naive. Soooooooo naive.

I'm not naive! I just don't see how there can possibly be a market for that!

You'd be surprised the kinds of things people get off to when they know nobody's watching. The empire itself is worth fuckin' thousands.

I wonder how well something like that would go over here.

[. . .]

Scratch that. No I don't.

Hey now, stealing a dude's business venture is just rude. I know what you're thinking.

I'm no thief! Not of a puppet porn empire, at least!

Yeah, yeah. That's what they all say. Then next thing I know it's your name hovering above the puppet dong empire.

My name already hovers over a media empire, thank you very much.

So you're looking to add a scandal.

That's actually kind of the opposite of what I'm looking for, thanks.

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