capeandcowl | voice;

Entry tags:

eridan ampora | prince of hope

voice;

So what are you gonna do when they outlaw all that superheroin' nonsense you all lowe so damn much?

[to his credit, he's trying to sound grave. (it isn't working.)]

We take this - and we're goin' to, since we got such big pushers for mustard-bellied diplomacy in charge around here - they ain't gonna be satisfied 'til they got us all on leashes. And at the first signs a dissent, they're gonna hang us by 'em. I sure hope you lot can handle the usage a our powers bein' a criminal offense, since that's the next thing to go. A Wulcanus gun in ewery Natiwe hand and a trackin' chip in ewery filthy imPort, right?

[a ~~theatrical~~ pause. contrary to his usual habit of getting worked up in his tirades, eridan's been very calm (albeit smug in his "my unreasonable paranoia was entirely justified" kind of way) but no less intense throughout.]

We start goin quietly into that good fuckin' nocturnal phase and we aint newer gonna stop.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Maybe we could bargain for information, then? If you're so interested.

I'm listenin'.

Barely, but it's somethin'.

Details of our respective private lives. Question for a question, answered in full.

Sounds risky.

[beat.]

You're on.

Then I'll go first, since it was my idea.

What do you spend your free time doing? [And then, because specificity is how you win this:] Tell me your most illegal activity that you're current involved in.

Readin', schemin', buyin' shit to flesh out my wardrobe since ewerythin' from my summer wardrobe is gettin' thrown out, and tryin' to solwe that stupid riddle a yours. The Ninnian one.

[a beat. when he answers, his tone is light.]

I promised somebody a hundred bucks to turn up and kick you in the shame globes. So I'd be watchin' my back, if I was you.

[assault of a public official is definitely more illegal than minor graffiti, after all, even if he only started on it a few days ago.

his voice is still pleasant.]

What's most important to you?

What? [shame. globes.] Why would you do that, it's just -- what the hell, you -- this doesn't count as my question, by and by, I know it's because you're so uncouth.

Urgh. Eridan.

[Well, now he has to wear shame globe protection every day until he can offer the would-be-assailant better money.]

Being the smartest man in every room is most important to me. [Said oh so casually. He knows it's aggressively narcissistic, he knows that.]

Who do you have kismesis feelings for in City?

[NO HOLDING BACK. I legit typed feelins at first.]

[SNICKING RUDELY and then abruptly cutting it out at the question. THAT'S GOING FOR THE THROAT, EDDIE.]

Nobody. [a touch embarrassed, but he clears it from his tone quickly.] Not like that, anyhow. Nobody's been really pissin' me off lately.

[beat. that isn't true.]

Except you, but for obwious reasons I don't consider it kismesal hatred. You just piss me off.

What did you do with my old room?

It occurs to me that our prior relation alone prevents me from being considered a bellicose outlet for you. That's something to be thankful for, I suppose. As for your room? I've reconstructed it. It's now a pun room, where all my incredibly clever puns are memorialized.

I was going to make it into a memorial for the not-son I've lost, but then I thought how silly that would be. A not-room is much more suitable for a not-son.

[Admittedly, he's getting a bit weird.]

What's the real reason as to why you won't accept a new moirail?

...Ah.

[not sure whether to feel confused warm feelings about the not-son memorial mention, confused angry feelings at the not part of the not-son title and the not-room thing, or just... confused feelings.

WOW EDDIE.]

'Cos it's the shittiest quadrant. I was just in it with Fef to get a shot at mowin' to matespritship, and I only ewer set a fin in it with you in the first place because I didn't want to be alone. Not 'cos I ewer gawe half a shit about moirallegiance.

[it's a surprisingly deep admission, though eridan hasn't thought on it hard enough to realize the implications of what he's just said; the i wanted you around rather than particularly caring about moirallegiance or being pacified or whatever, which he never particularly has.

which i only today noticed by reading hussie formspring quotes.]

Do you really consider Mitch your moirail?

So you thought the only way to promise my presence was to dress it up as a necessary relationship, I suppose? Rhetorical question, of course. Because I recall the arguments you used, in persuading me to engage that moirallegiance. I recall the necessity at the time.

[A beat. He draws a deep breath on this one.] No. [Another beat.] Not at present. But I'm working on changing that, making it something authentic. He understands me in a way no one else here can -- [in part because Mitchell has read Riddler comics] -- which makes him a liability. And an asset. I want to keep that close.

Why do you consider having a moirail worse than having that one who prevents kismeses from actualizing? The auspistice. I imagine those have screwed you out of your favored quadrant more than just a few times.

Edited 2012-08-14 07:24 (UTC)

And a fat fuckin' lot a good it did me anyway.

[PFF. that is the noise he makes, though whether at his own answer or to eddie's statement regarding mitch isn't immediately clear.]

Because auspistices newer stopped me from stokin' a true kismesis - or what the fuck ewer I thought was one at the time. They can't, not when you're real passionate about it. They're only there to keep you from goin' kismesis with somebody else and underminin' your main kismesisship.

Moirallegiance is just... fuckin' laborious. It serwes no goddamn purpose for folk like me, all burdened with the crown and whatnot as we are. A number a potent rulers wouldn't of gotten where they were with a pacifyin' agent.

[caligulasaquarium aka BEING CRUEL AND INSANE (BUT POWERFUL) IS WAY BETTER THAN BEING AVERAGE BUT UNNOTICED. FUCK MOIRAILS.]

And if you had to choose between Mitch and Fel? The one you don't pick dies in a death trap a one a your less brilliant, no doubt numerous fuckin' knockoffs.

I don't see how this question holds relevance: none of my vastly incapable copycats could ever pose something as intricate and intellectually engaging as a proper death trap.

The mere idea of Cluemaster bumbling about a trap is laughable. I mean, the man willingly wore orange and brown together.

[HE WILLINGLY DID THAT, ERIDAN.]

Then somebody with a significant goddamn grudge decides to dewote a dearth a their time studyin' up on the warious elements a constructin' gimmicky murder machines just to fuckin' spite you.

[PAUSE...]

Definitely not Cluemaster. Fuckin' color blind.

Oh well in that case. Mitchell already survived your assassination effort once, he could do it again. I have faith in his resurrection capabilities. And at least we can safely assume you wouldn't incorporate orange somehow.

[GENTLY ASSUMES ERIDAN IS THE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD DEVOTE THAT DEARTH OF HIS TIME]

He'd understand.

Was I your most fulfilling relation? If not, then where would it rank?

Edited 2012-08-14 07:49 (UTC)

Surwiwed it? I gutted your precious moirail like a pig.

[HE ISN'T WRONG]

Second. Maybe third.

[deliberately fulfilling only the minimal requirements of answering that question tbh]

How much do you miss me not bein' around the brownstone, honestly?

You always made such a mess, especially in my study. Especially in my study. Why would I miss that?

[Cheater alert, that's not an answer. That's a dodge.]

[it's too bad eridan doesn't realize it!! getting too caught up in his feelins and whatnot. his tone darkens.]

Don't tell me you're fuckin' up and forgettin' your own damn rules already.

Your question.

Of course.

[CHEATERS ALWAYS PROSPER]

Why did you think I would be fine with your proposed scenario given the concurrent stimulus?

[LIFE IS SUFFERIN]

Didn't realize you cared as much as you did, really. Guess I assumed you were made a sterner shit than to let anythin' affect you too bad.

Preferred method a killin' me. Be honest.

You might be missing the point. Eridan. [Said so sourly!! But he gives pause at the next question, because in fact he does had a slightly-less-than-merely-hypothetical method in mind.]

I'd inject you with specific nanobots, all indescribably small and all programmed with a very precise command. Only on my word would they begin to dissemble your brainstem, and work upwards from there. Only on my word, would they kill you.

You'd have to live with the knowledge that I could destroy you whenever I felt the whim

[He smirks, and that could be nearly audible in itself.]

How many hours a day do you spend thinking about me, or things directly related to me?

Edited 2012-08-14 15:49 (UTC)

That's all sorts a creepy as fuck, Ed.

Mostly that you thought on it that hard and probably spent some time imaginin' what it'd look like when I died.

[OBLIVIOUS.]

Two, maybe three. Considerin' I'm usually up for three or so days at a time, I figure that's a reasonable amount.

How many hours do you spend thinkin' about me and things directly related to me?

Perhaps a couple per week. Every now and then I recall that you murdered Mitchell, and I consider what he could do to you in return but hasn't. That's still invariably in your context, so.

Do you want us to be connected again? Either as moirails or family or friends?

No.

[yes. OOPS HE LIED and doesn't even bother asking a question in return, since he assumes eddie would point out his untruthfulness before he could even get it out.]

Noted.

I'll take that to heart.

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