video;

[amoray]

[the feed is underwater, and not immediately focused on eridan (though his cape does drift slightly into view here and there). few, if any, will recognize the atlantean palace or its throne room, but the architecture and the being underwater thing might tip them off.]

Considerin' it's been about a week or so now, and I hawen't seen skin nor scale a her, it's pretty safe to say that Namora a Atlantis ain't roamin' these waters no more.

[a pause.]

That bein' said, as the last sea dweller and the only indiwidual who ain't got garbage slippin' through their weins around here, it's only natural that I take ower their palace and assorted territories in their absence. Maintain 'em and such.

Aforementioned territories bein' all sewen seas and ewerythin' in between, for the record.

[he flips the camera away from a meandering lionfish (his name is xerxes the sewenth) and to himself, comfortably sprawled in namor's throne. and being smug as a motherfucker. like literally, he's been super smug about shit before but at the moment his smugness may be mutating surrounding sealife just by how goddamn potent it is.

the lay of his cape obscures the slight bulges under his clothing at his shoulder and leg, for the most part, but his left fin is visibly torn, and still an angry purple.]

As fair and generous warnin', I'm allowin' the humans continued usage a my oceans not outta goodwill, but outta necessity. Mostly since you lungbreathers would probably start whinin' your tailfins off about widespread starwation or some shit if I didn't. But if I start seein' anythin' I don't necessarily like happenin' in my waters, I won't hesitate to fuck some a your laughable tin can ships all manner a up 'til the message starts comin' through clearer-like.

I ain't currently acceptin' wirgin sacrifices or tributes a precious metals and stones, but be watchin' for that in the future.

[he gives a little wave of his ringed fingers at the comm.]

Ewenin', dirtscrapers. And long liwe the Prince.

[end feed.]

Comments

[enigmaestro]

This is why your peers think you hit on me.

This is why.

[amoray]

They -

[SPLUTTERING.]

They fuckin' do not!

[enigmaestro]

Well. They do.









So there.

[amoray]

Projectin' your ego on others ain't nice, Ed.

[enigmaestro]

It's all right, Eridan, the young are expected to develop feelings for their wiser teachers.

[amoray]

Which is obwiously why I came about a hair away from drownin' you like a sack a wigglers.

Obwiously.

[enigmaestro]

But you didn't, did you? Just to the brink.

Classic caliginous feelings, really.

[amoray]

If I was caliginous for you, you'd know.

And you're a fuckin' human, you don't get to glub about classic caliginous feelins.

[enigmaestro]

Come now, Eridan, your obsession with Batman -- whom you've never properly met, in a sincere and meaningful way -- is clearly intended to rile me.

How is that not dismally bellicose?

[amoray]

[he starts on something indignant about four times, and then gives up.]

It's not an obsession. Quit projectin'.

[enigmaestro]

Falsehood.

[JUST SAYING THAT TO BE A PRICK??? OR DOES HE MEAN IT??]

[amoray]

[THE MOST IRRITATING]

You're such an unlikable fuckin' prick.

[enigmaestro]

Still more likable than you.

[amoray]

That ain't exactly an accomplishment.

[beat.]

Plenty a people get jealous when faced with somebody superior to 'em.

[enigmaestro]

And maybe one day you'll experience the sensation of someone envying you.

[amoray]

What, when I'm ten times the superwillain you ewer were and you're shittin' yourself in jealousy ower it?

[enigmaestro]

If you're taking that route, then it seems like my maybe rolls a negative.

There's another tip, Eridan: don't bite off more than you can chew.

[amoray]

I can chew plenty.

[pushing further, daring:]

And by the time I'm through, nobody's ewen goin' to remember whoewer the fuck the Riddler was.

[enigmaestro]

That's a reassuring falsehood. Careful, Eridan, you're getting into that verve again.

The one where people accuse you of unsavory wants.

[amoray]

For the final fuckin' time, I ain't interested in you as a kismesis.

You just platonically irritate the fuck outta me.

[enigmaestro]

Just making sure. I wouldn't want or new arrangement to get complex in a direction neither of us intended, after all -- you understand, there's risk of that with change.

But this is satisfying.

Now, what about the details of our arrangement? Like scheduling, for example.

[amoray]

Afternoons? Nights?

Considerin' I'm goin' to hawe to work around schoolfeedin' hours no matter where I go for it and all.

[enigmaestro]

Let's remember I also work at a rather demanding, public job. It's not all about you. [THE HUMOR OF THESE WORDS]

Weekends, perhaps?

[amoray]

[UGHHHHHHHHHHHH]

Fine. Whatewer.

You keep your nose outta my priwate life, though. You ain't exactly my guardian anymore.

[enigmaestro]

Mmm no, I'm not your guardian. I'm something more important.