(no subject)

[hashrap]

Yo, what up. Got a special treat today; gonna do a reading of something I just happened to have hanging around in my room. On behalf of my beloved witch of a sister I'm going to share with all of you her finely tailored writings about gay wizards having sex as a broadcast of her impeccable taste. It also comes in fanfiction flavored.

[ He brandishes a lavender notebook, "Rose" written across it in cursive. ]

Now, let's begin. Might wanna take a seat, grab a bag of chips, crack open a bottle of wine; make a real evening of it.

Alright.

'With the lights so low, Zazzerpan found himself wanting more than to cast a quiet illumination spell. The shadows across the contours of Calmasis' face made him every inch the monster Zazzerpan knew he was becoming. The dark circles under his eyes were more pronounced, his eyes themselves in return looking as though they were being sunk in. There was little to his protégé anymore, and yet Zazzerpan could not help the delighted shiver that run up his spine. Despite all that had happened, he was delighted that he had come. He straightened his back. He lifted his chin, nodding his acknowledgment. He set his quill down.

'Calmasis sneered; there would be no more good blood between them, that much was obvious. He stood with a confidence that went beyond the competent student Zazzerpan once knew. He was all ego now. He was over-confident and dangerous and smug. Perhaps he had every right to be. Zazzerpan was getting no younger.

'“I was not expecting visitors,” said the old wizard in an even tone.

'“My letter must be lost in the mail,” Calmasis retorted, voice flat.'

Man, that is some fine ass wizard sass. I like this one, I'd read a book about this guy. I hope he's the one who gets to do the deep dicking.

Sorry, I'm taking away from gay wizards fucking.

'"And to what do I owe this pleasure?”

'Calmasis' silence lingered; a long stretch of nothingness filled the air, heavy with a poignancy that made Zazzerpan's chest tighten. It seemed as though his sneer faltered; something troubled shone through and Zazzerpan felt a familiar sting of worry. Calmasis stepped towards him, and the sneer melted away completely. He placed his hands on Zazzerpans’s desk, leaning in close and the old wizard met his eyes with a sad disquiet in his own. “No one challenges me like you,” Calmasis admitted quietly. “They are all so terribly dull." His voice was a quiet tenor.'

Goddamn this is long. Hold up I'm gonna skip to the good parts.

'"Zazzerpan shivered as Calmasis' hands traversed down his chest. "Should I be offended," he mused aloud as Calmasis' mouth pressed against his collar. "That you only ever visit when it suits you?"

'"Oh stop talking," Calmasis murmured, biting against the old wizard's shoulder. Zazzerpan shuddered, nails digging into the younger man's hips.

Goddamn there's like 20 more pages of this. Guess I'm gonna have to omit all the sordid details. Until next time, this has been Gay Wizards Fucking by Rose Lalonde.

Comments

[aliveandticking]

[hashrap]

I can keep going.

[centurybaby]

I don't think I've ever fucking seen it go down like that.

[hashrap]

So you'd call yourself an expert on the subject.

1/i dont fuckin know

[nitidus]

[nitidus]

[nitidus]

[you motherfucker.]

[nitidus]

[you complete shit. ]

[nitidus]

[it wasn't even the good parts. ]

I will tag from my phone just for this oh man

[culver]

[w h a t]

Oh no she did not write that.
Right??

[hashrap]

she did
theres more

[Permavid]

[wisecracked]

[Kenzi just stares at her comm in speechless silence for a few moments.]



...Certainly one of the last things I expected to find on the network today.

permavid

[hashrap]

Are you aroused? Pretty sure that's what she was goin' for. Either that or she wants to educate the masses on how boners don't work.

[luckout]

What the fuck.

[hashrap]

Give the girl an actual comment, at least. I'm sure she put a lot of work into this.

[wytchkkrafts]

[ roxy's laughing, a little too hard.

oh no, so this is what her daughter is into, gay wizards. a fanfiction with characters from the super serious and dense books that she wrote. she was already clued in that rose had a sense of humor despite her serious composure, but this was really something else.

no this is too much. ]

Think I can get a copy of that?

[hashrap]

Totally. Nothing would make me happier.

Permavid

[governorkang]

[He looks vaguely sick.]

Why would you share something like this?

permavid

[hashrap]

Because I love my sister and I want to see her happy.

permavoice;

[recurve]

What's wrong with it?

[hashrap]

Hahahaha, there's the scandal. If you ask me all nice-like I might keep going.

video;

[glowsferatu]

[ kanaya is leaning her face against her hand, it covering her mouth. her eyes are wide, betraying her interest. dammit, dave, keep reading, she wants to know what happens next! ]

Is there more?

[hashrap]

[ Things Dave didn't want to know about Kanaya Maryam. ]

Holy shit, you're actually into this.

permavoice.

[crab]

Don't skip parts, you tool, how are we supposed to know how they got into that position? What brought them there? The dialogue that passed between them? You just robbed that scene of all possible merit or atmosphere!

[hashrap]

Hey man, far be it from me to get between you and your wanking material, grody as it is. If you ask real nice I might keep reading.

[amoray]

wwhat the fuck

[WIZRRRRDS but

wizard porn...............]

[hashrap]

wizards playing hide the sausage

[voice]

[lastnerv]

Oh. Wow, that's....

Wow.

[hashrap]

Sounds like someone enjoyed himself.

[video]

[paints_lanterns]

[This might be the single most embarrassed fairytale princess ever.]

W-why are you reading that on here?!

[hashrap]

Because I'm an outstanding citizen bent on spreading love and wonder to everyone around. Dang, someone should get me a medal.

voice;

[youruniverse]

My, my! We have aspiring talent among us.

[hashrap]

Totally. Always knew I had a great voice for radio. Makes the general public fall to their knees in gratitude. Wars have been declared, fought and ended over possession of this fire pair of vocal chords. Grown men weep at my articulators, I'm truly a gift from the gods.

Guess Rose's fanfics ain't half bad either if you skip the bits about wizards boning.

voice

[backstabbing]

...why'd you stop reading? It was getting awfully good.

[hashrap]

Jesus dick there are way too many people actually into this shit. You wanna hear more about how a thirteen year old girl thinks a dude's dick works when he sticks it up some dude's shithole.

[voice]

[longbowhunter]

What girls put in their diaries is their own damn business, you know, kiddo.

[hashrap]

She auctioned me off, she deserves the city knowing about her kinky fanfics.

[cawky]

Jesus, what a picture-perfect classic.

[hashrap]

I'm thinking of getting it printed and framed. Maybe embroidered to hang up in the kitchen. "Calmasis shuddered as the void of his insides devoured each inch of Zazzerpan's length, breathing shallowly through his mouth while his elder rival slowly rocked the very foundations on which his vital organs sat." Surrounded by a couple birds, maybe. Daisy or two stitched into the corner.

[voice]

[dupable]

... Did you just make up that last part?

[hashrap]

This is all straight from the horse's mouth, John.

The horse is my sister.


Rose is a horse.