2.1 » video

[sokillme]

Y'know, something about this is really ringing some bells. And not the kind that go on collars. [whoever this guy is, he's suddenly grinning like a maniac] I think I had a dream like this once. Or saw it in a movie. Was it a movie? It mighta been The Matrix... [a thoughtful kind of humming noise;] No, that can't have been it. The déja vu scene in that had a black cat in it, and this one definitely doesn't.

Hhmm. [apparently he's done rambling about vague cat jokes now holy shit dude finally] Alright! Attention, peasants! Lord Salem Saberhagen hath returned to his kingdom. You need not kneel, I will accept a bow, and I accept all gifts of adoration with a blessing. _{But I prefer that they be wraaa-aa-aapped.}

Comments

farts;

[roublard]

Then I'll be the first to tell you: it's bad. A man can't even find decent explosives.

calls a dog;

[sokillme]

What? That's shameful! When you can't even get C4 at th--

Wait a second, what were you going to do with explosives?

spank;

[roublard]

What wasn't I?

rock paper scissors;

[sokillme]

That's not terribly reassuring.

harp;

[roublard]

Why, taking a sudden interest in the hobbies of your peasants?

freak out;

[sokillme]

No, just in their spending habits.

diarrhea;

[roublard]

If you must know, I had been planning to blow open the nearest vault and make off with any and all valuables inside, but that plan seems to be on hold for the moment.

applaud;

[sokillme]

^Gasp! It seems we have a dangerous criminal on our hands! [speaking to a hypothetical audience:] Police! Seize him immediate--

Wait a seond. [gearshift.] What kind of valuables?

spending your money on an mmorpg and watching as you slowly become a worthless shell of a person;

[roublard]

I seem to have found myself without my arms. I'm seeing about fixing this. ["why lie", one of the many smisse family tenets. it is right next to "lie your goddamn fat wakfu ass off".]

stop reminding me i have to hunt for new emotes;

[sokillme]

Without your arms? Doesn't that make it hard to use the internet?

[roublard]

[pause]

My weapons.

[what the fuck is an internet]

[sokillme]

Oh! That kind of arms! Man, why didn't you say so? Totally clears that up. Instantly.

And in case you haven't noticed, you're in Ah-murr-i-ka. If you can't find something before breakfast tomorrow, I'll eat my hat. Metaphorically, of course.

[roublard]

Nothing I've seen is really... up to my standards.

[sokillme]

Aaaah, so you're a discerning shopper! Nothing wrong with that, nothing wrong with that at all. Just out of curiosity, what do your usual tastes run to? Mace, halbred, broadsword, throwing knives, kitchen spoon? Come on, tell me if I'm getting warm.