2.1 » video

[sokillme]

Y'know, something about this is really ringing some bells. And not the kind that go on collars. [whoever this guy is, he's suddenly grinning like a maniac] I think I had a dream like this once. Or saw it in a movie. Was it a movie? It mighta been The Matrix... [a thoughtful kind of humming noise;] No, that can't have been it. The déja vu scene in that had a black cat in it, and this one definitely doesn't.

Hhmm. [apparently he's done rambling about vague cat jokes now holy shit dude finally] Alright! Attention, peasants! Lord Salem Saberhagen hath returned to his kingdom. You need not kneel, I will accept a bow, and I accept all gifts of adoration with a blessing. _{But I prefer that they be wraaa-aa-aapped.}

Comments

[Voice] 1/2

[wisecracked]

Why does that nam--

[wisecracked]

[There's a choking noise.]

Holy crapballs! Are you shitting me?!

voice;

[sokillme]

[a beat] Sorry, am I what?

[wisecracked]

Nothing, nothing! Just having a minor freakout over here.

[sokillme]

Ah, I see! Coming face to face -- so to speak, of course -- with your lord and master. It must be such a surreal experience! Not that I'd know.

[wisecracked]

Tha--

Sssuuure, we'll go with that.

[sokillme]

Good! And now that that's overwith, howsabout some grovelling?

[wisecracked]

Mmmmn, no I just got these pants and I rather not get them dirty.

[sokillme]

Hmph. [clearly he didn't do a good enough job of subjugating these people the last time he was here.] Aaaalright, no grovelling. What about a [belly rub?? NO BE STRONG SALEM] little information? I seem to be woefully understaffed at the moment, and no one's filled me in on what's happened.

[wisecracked]

Not sure how much info I can give. I've only been here a couple months myself.

[sokillme]

Your emperor considers all information useful. [did he just upgrade himself to holder of an empire why yes he did look at that]

[wisecracked]

Oh, emperor now? When did that happen?

[A beat.] Anyway. No idea what kinda stuff you may have missed out on buuuuut imPorts are basically banned from most of the other countries of the world. So don't make any travel plans.

[sokillme]

Why not? Expansion is an everyday part of business, right?

Okay, imPorts being the us-types with the Realms and the-- _{wait a second}, banned?

[wisecracked]

Well, don't emperors usually get fancy ceremonies and stuff when they become emperors?

Yes, imPorts being those of us brought here by the very so lovely crazy bitch AI. And yes, banned. As in laws set in place to keep us out. And apparently they have scanners that can detect us.

[sokillme]

_{I was at a really good Halloween party last year...}

Us? As in, us us? As in, me? But what did I do? [oh yeah, he's getting whiny again]

[wisecracked]

It's not a har-- [Wait, she's talking a guy who's spent his life as a cat longer than she's been alive.]

Yes, including you. Nothing! I didn't do anything either but I'm punished as well! It's like being faeing grounded for something your cousin did and you had no part in.