voice;

[amoray]

So.

Any a you ewer had a nemesis before? Like fated fuckin' contentiousness, always gettin' up each others' gills doin' shit just to irritate 'em, duelin' to practically the death, maybe makin' out a little, that kinda thing.

See, I'm in the market for just that particular arrangement, and while I'm personally a master of the bellicose arts and don't need any adwice or nothin', I obwiously got a wested interest in how humans go about poorly imitatin' the quadrant. What with my bein' the main troll-human confidante in these parts and such.

[he pronounces it "con-fee-dawn-tay". also he means intermediary.]

Despite most of you bein' from a society bearin' a sewerely inferior romance system and therefore gettin' your emotions all scrambled up wrong from the get-go 'cos of it, I'd appreciate hearin' some personal tales.

Comments

[Voice]

[wisecracked]

Can't say I have...

I mean there's a lot of people I downright hate back home but I never really went out of my way to fight them.

[Except maybe Lauren and the Morrigan. But Lauren deserved the verbal beat down and the Morrigan is a crazy bitch...who could melt Kenzi's face right off she so felt inclined.]

You're one of those troll thingies right? Maybe you can better explain your romance quadrant thing to me. Roxy was terrible at it. [She's really pretty curious about this.]

[Voice]

[amoray]

First off, I ain't a troll thingy. I'm a troll. Second, I'm a sea dweller, don't go lumpin' me in with the assbloods.

Third, I can probably giwe you a rundown since I'm feelin' so damn generous and whatnot. [beat. then, said almost as condescendingly as it's phrased:] What don't you get?

[wisecracked]

Okay fine, troll. What's the difference? Seriously I don't know jack about any of you and there seems to be a lot of you around.

[She lets out a thoughtful hum.] I understand the uh, what was it flushed thing. That one's pretty easy to figure out. The other three though, not really getting them. What's the point of even having such a complicated romantic system anyway?

[amoray]

That's like askin' somebody why they got such a complicated nerwous system.

[SIGH.]

Alright - ashen, pale, black. Pick a color.

[wisecracked]

Not really.

Uh, guess we'll start with ashen.

[amoray]

Pick a different one.

[good goddamn auspisticism.]

[wisecracked]

What? You said you'd explain!

[amoray]

I'll explain that one l- look, do you want a fuckin' rundown or not?

[wisecracked]

Yes!

But you said you'd explain and then you gave me an option. If you didn't want to explain certain one then you shouldn't have given the option.

[amoray]

It's real fuckin' complicated and I don't got an hour to go explainin' the intricacies a platonic-romantic mediation between two folks waxin' a whole other different color you don't understand entirely.

[wisecracked]

Okay so explain the one that goes with that?

[amoray]

Kismesis. Romantic hatred. Hatin' a brinesucker so much you end up kinda wantin' to showe your tongue down their throat, howewer you wanna phrase it.

Basically means two folks hate each other so damn much that they start gettin' kinda romantic with the act a fuckin' one another ower. You loathe 'em better than anybody else got it in 'em to do, blacker, and you want 'em to know it - and you definitely wanna make sure nobody else goes steppin' in on your turf, neither.

[a beat, as he readjusts his glasses.]

Kinda a brief brushin' ower, but that's all you really gotta know about it - you bein' human and ewerythin'. t's one a the two forms a romance, offsettin' the regular romantic pity you humans kinda got down, inwolwed in my species' reproduction habits.

Which I'm not goin' into, so there you go.

[wisecracked]

Huh. That actually makes a lot more sense than what Roxy was telling me.

So I'm guessing the ashen one kind of comes into play there. Making sure the two don't actually kill each other or something?

What about pale then?

[amoray]

Not really. Ashen is for keepin' two brinesuckers from dewolwin' into full-blown black, in the case a them hawin' more worthwhile kismesisships inwolwin' different folk they don't want gettin' watered down by the other dark trysts.

Or you know, just keepin' 'em from killin' each other, but whatewer. Not my faworite quadrant anyhow.

Moirallegiance is the pale quadrant - diamonds, whatewer you want to call it, doesn't matter really. That don't keep it from bein' the fuckin' worst most worthless quadrant there is. It inwolwes one troll too dangerous or whatewer bein' kept in line by a calmer kinda counterpart - somebody who knows 'em through and through, and don't judge for it. "Platonic soulmate" is just about all I can think to call it in terms you'd get.

[a beat.]

Shitty quadrant. Wouldn't waste my time on it if I was you.

[wisecracked]

[She quiet for a few moments as she digest the information.]

Huh. Well that all makes a lot more sense now. It's also a lot more interesting than what I expected.

And I'm not seeing how a pale quadrant is shitty. That's uh...actually that pretty much explains my relationship with someone back home.

[amoray]

Personal experience? You don't need it. None a us do.

Just holds you back from doin' what you ought to.

[OH NO BITTERNESS]

[wisecracked]

Maybe that's how it's worked out for you but I think things have been a lot better for me and her since we met.

[amoray]

Pfft. Sure, alright, whatewer.

[a beat. with what may or may not be unintentional bite:]

Not that moirallegiance is ewen somethin' you humans are capable of anyway.

[wisecracked]

Whatevs dude. From what you described that's pretty much how my relationship with Bo works.