voice;

[amoray]

So.

Any a you ewer had a nemesis before? Like fated fuckin' contentiousness, always gettin' up each others' gills doin' shit just to irritate 'em, duelin' to practically the death, maybe makin' out a little, that kinda thing.

See, I'm in the market for just that particular arrangement, and while I'm personally a master of the bellicose arts and don't need any adwice or nothin', I obwiously got a wested interest in how humans go about poorly imitatin' the quadrant. What with my bein' the main troll-human confidante in these parts and such.

[he pronounces it "con-fee-dawn-tay". also he means intermediary.]

Despite most of you bein' from a society bearin' a sewerely inferior romance system and therefore gettin' your emotions all scrambled up wrong from the get-go 'cos of it, I'd appreciate hearin' some personal tales.

Comments

[enigmaestro]

Can't say I haven't tried, but you know what they say about a stubborn pupil.

[Oh he's dancing close with this one.]

He's hopeless in the matter.

[centurybaby]

Some people just have no fucking respect for father figures.

[enigmaestro]

I -- [A beat.] I wouldn't say I'm that to him, anymore.

[Casually regards how public this is.]

To any notable degree.

[centurybaby]

Not anymore, huh.

[enigmaestro]

No, not anymore.

[centurybaby]

Lame. So, did he piss in your Cheerios or did you piss in his?

[enigmaestro]

We parted amicably. [Spoken so dryly it can't even count as a lie, because the tone is too sarcastic.

Lethally sarcastic.

Good thing he's inoculated.]

[centurybaby]

[ with a lesser degree if dryness, and vague amusement: ]

So, what, mutual pissing?

[enigmaestro]

Let's say neither of us required milk for said cereal.

[centurybaby]

Bummer.

No fucking offense, but you don't really come off as the fatherly type anyway.

[enigmaestro]

No, no, no offense taken. That's the point I was trying to make to him, exactly.

[centurybaby]

Yeah, well. Who the fuck knows. Then again, father figures come from unexpected places. That's what they're for, right? Either surprising you, or disappointing you.

[enigmaestro]

I think the latter statistically outweighs the former, but neither are impossible.

[centurybaby]

Is that personal experience talking?

[enigmaestro]

[Tensely:] I suppose anyone who was witness to Father's Day could affirm that.

[centurybaby]

Touchy subject? My bad.

[enigmaestro]

The sympathy is overwhelming.

[centurybaby]

Hey, if anybody sympathizes with daddy issues, it's me.

[enigmaestro]

I can't say I blame you, given the father figure in question. But you seem to have survived well, regardless.

[centurybaby]

So do you.

[enigmaestro]

[A beat. The smile in his voice is genuine, weird enough coming from any Gothamite.]

Much appreciated, Jenny.

But yes, fatherly types seem to be more of an affliction than an aid in these parts. I thought I'd do Eridan a favor.

[centurybaby]

Too fucking bad. Asshole could use somebody to tell him what to do.

[enigmaestro]

He's at that age where he'd be prone to rebel, I think.

[centurybaby]

At this rate, he'll probably rebel himself into a fucking early grave.

[enigmaestro]

I imagine a few people are hoping for that outcome.