voice;

[amoray]

So.

Any a you ewer had a nemesis before? Like fated fuckin' contentiousness, always gettin' up each others' gills doin' shit just to irritate 'em, duelin' to practically the death, maybe makin' out a little, that kinda thing.

See, I'm in the market for just that particular arrangement, and while I'm personally a master of the bellicose arts and don't need any adwice or nothin', I obwiously got a wested interest in how humans go about poorly imitatin' the quadrant. What with my bein' the main troll-human confidante in these parts and such.

[he pronounces it "con-fee-dawn-tay". also he means intermediary.]

Despite most of you bein' from a society bearin' a sewerely inferior romance system and therefore gettin' your emotions all scrambled up wrong from the get-go 'cos of it, I'd appreciate hearin' some personal tales.

Comments

[crab]

[ HE HAS EMOTIONS ABOUT THIS ]

I don't give a shit. I am devoid of shits. The amount of excrement being presented here is absolute nil. Giving a shit is not what is taking place here, I'm doing the precise opposite of giving a shit, I am repossessing a shit, in fact, I am giving negative shit. That's what I'm giving.

[centurybaby]

Yeah, okay, tough guy. You give no shits. Sure.

[crab]

If I ever did give a shit, it was before he murdered two of my friends in front of me, permanently mutilated the other one, drove our entire race to extinction and put his hand through my god damn chest and blew my organs out the other side of it.

[centurybaby]

[ a little pause. then: ]

Please tell me you fucking gutted him.

[crab]

[ a long pause, and then, uncomfortably: ]

No. [ another beat. ] But someone else did.

[centurybaby]

[ aggressively: ]

Fucking lame, Karkat. You should've choked him out with that stupid fucking scarf. You should've fucking murdered him.

[crab]

[ he falters for a second. jenny is right, he thinks. he should have. any other self respecting, condesce fearing troll would have gone out for revenge after fielding everything eridan ampora has put karkat vantas through. he tries to reason that getting caught in a cycle of vengeance in a universe where death doesn't stay permanent would be about the most retarded endeavor anyone ever embarked upon and all who do should hang their heads in shame for ever having existed, but. there's a lingering, nagging insecurity there.

he doesn't think he could kill eridan ampora. ]

-- I would have, okay, but Kanaya beat me to it back home and here it's flat out pointless to even bother, people just come back.

[centurybaby]

It's not fucking pointless. You don't have to give them a nice, clean, painless fucking death. And two weeks of powerlessness is plenty of fucking punishment.

[crab]

Yeah, and what happens when he gets his powers back? We get catapaulted back into the same old vat of roiling bullshit, only about a billion times deeper! Yeah, that sounds like a blast, that's exactly how I want to spend my time, running around in circles of revenge with Eridan goddamn Ampora. I have better and more important things to do.

[centurybaby]

Yeah, like what? Being a fucking pushover pussy who lets people get away with killing him and shit?

[crab]

[ karkat growls. literally growls, like an angry terrier. ]

You don't even know what you're talking about, so cut the bullshit act like you even have the slightest inkling of what went on between us. You're not a troll. I wouldn't expect you to understand what it means to make someone pay. I have better things to do like worrying about shit that is actually important and relevant to the god damn present. When and how and if I make him pay is none of your business or your concern, so do me a favor and shove your opinion back up your crusty nook where it came from.

[centurybaby]

[ a long, tense pause.




then, at length, she just makes a vaguely amused noise. ]

Better.

[crab]

[ karkat huffs a little, vaguely confused. ]

What? Are you done, then?

[centurybaby]

[ with a shrug. ]

Yeah. Guess you're not a huge pussy after all.

[crab]

I'm overcome with honor and gratitude. [ sarcastic, but without any aggressive bite to it. ]

[centurybaby]

You're fucking welcome.

[ mildly: ]

We should hang out. Someone who's not completely shoved up their own ass needs to explain this troll shit to me.

[crab]

[ he perks up. potential romance exposition opportunities!!

also hanging out with jenny would be cool too he guesses. his voice sounds marginally less grouchy. ]

You're asking the right person when it comes to quadrants, so congrats on that front. When and where?

[centurybaby]

On my fucking spaceship. D'uh. Whenever your busy fucking troll schedule opens up.

[crab]

How the fuck am I supposed to get to space? [ he could ask kanaya BUT THAT MAY BE BAD FORM. ]

[centurybaby]

I'll tell the Carrier to beam you up. She'll be fucking gentle, I promise.