voice;

[amoray]

So.

Any a you ewer had a nemesis before? Like fated fuckin' contentiousness, always gettin' up each others' gills doin' shit just to irritate 'em, duelin' to practically the death, maybe makin' out a little, that kinda thing.

See, I'm in the market for just that particular arrangement, and while I'm personally a master of the bellicose arts and don't need any adwice or nothin', I obwiously got a wested interest in how humans go about poorly imitatin' the quadrant. What with my bein' the main troll-human confidante in these parts and such.

[he pronounces it "con-fee-dawn-tay". also he means intermediary.]

Despite most of you bein' from a society bearin' a sewerely inferior romance system and therefore gettin' your emotions all scrambled up wrong from the get-go 'cos of it, I'd appreciate hearin' some personal tales.

Comments

[caprihorn]

Had Eridan in kismesis, _{had him as a matesprit} and it was going on for a real long fucking while. _{Had Terezi and Tavros in my clubs.}

And all that shit? <sub>Only failed because I left Eridan and because Tavros wasn't no good at being in clubs.

Only person it's ever got to working with was you</sub> and now you don't even give a mother fuck. _{Don't care that I try and bring you food} don't care that I try keeping yourself calm _{don't care about me trying to watch your shit like romcoms} don't care about mother fucking nothing.

_{And you don't want to listen to myself when I try to tell you shit or make you happy.}

Could walk up into a trap right now and that'd be the only thing to make yourself happy.

[He just sounds more hurt than angry toward the end.]

[crab]

You think I don't give a motherfuck? That's seriously the what you're trying to pull on me right now? I don't care?

[ karkat's voice on the other hand is trembling with barely suppressed rage. karkat himself is trembling with it. ]

I don't care, he says. Oh, no, absolutely not. I don't give a single shitsquiddling fuck! The lack of fucks I give are akin to a black hole of uncaring sorrow, and we've both passed over the event horizon together. I live in a house full of corpses for you. I nearly had to give up my best friend for you. I have stood up for you over and over and over again even when you did not fucking deserve it. Maybe especially when you didn't deserve it! I would throw myself in front of Kanaya's chainsaw before it ever even touched your worthless hide, that's how much I don't care! I'm risking my life working with Edward Nygma and Eridan Ampora just to keep you safe. No. I don't care. I don't give a fuck. What a thought, caring about Gamzee Makara! Who would ever do that?

You piece of shit.

If you walked into a trap we'd be over, Gamzee. Because you'd have to kill me to get to it.

[caprihorn]

[And this is where Gamzee just appears right in front of Karkat. He looks furious but he doesn't look like he's going to kill Karkat.

In one quick movement it looks like he might be about to do something violent but he's really just moving to grab ahold of Karkat as fast and as tightly as possible into something like a hug.]

_{Just easy to all think that when you're insulting shit important to myself} and you don't listen when I don't want you all to be protecting me from Ed and Eridan. _{And my honking at you don't seem to make you happy.}

[crab]

[ and karkat jumps, and starts to say warningly, with more than a hint of apprehension: ]

Gamzee-- [ and for the first time in a long time karkat feels a flash of fear of his moirail, an echo of the terror he felt when he first went crazy, and he wonders if he's gone too far. he doesn't recognize gamzee's vicegrip of a hug for what it is at first, and struggles at first, trying to get an arm free with which to try and pap his face. it's difficult. gamzee you are too goddamn strong, karkat is pretty sure his ribs are cracking and he frantically wonders if gamzee is trying to crush him to death. ] No, you shit, that was not an invitation-- oh god, oh god, shoosh, calm down.

[caprihorn]

[He doesn't completely realize how strong of a grip he's got, so Gamzee does actually squeeze him a little tighter for half a second before.

After a bit eases up though as just hearing shoosh from his moirail is an automatic calming down sound for him and it makes his muscles just relax a bit.

Not that this is so loose a grip Karkat can just walk away now.]

[crab]

[ once karkat's able to he quickly brings both hands up to cradle gamzee's face. this is probably what he should have done from the start, he thinks ruefully, gently running a thumb over his cheekbone, smearing his makeup a little. he shooshes him more, leaning in to press his forehead against his and trying not to seem like he's afraid. ]

Okay, that got kind of out of hand. I'm sorry, dude. But you're right on one count-- I don't care if you want my protection or not. It's my job to protect you.

[caprihorn]

[Gamzee leans back down into him, not caring about his makeup. He looks a little less angry now.]

_{Yeah, it all got turning into harsh noise too fast.} But you shouldn't have to protect myself from them. _{Should be protecting yourself from Eridan if anything, bro.}

[crab]

I know you don't need protection from Eridan. But we don't know what Nygma's capable of. He's -- smart, okay, never tell him I said this, but he's intelligent and calculating and I have little doubt that if he genuinely wanted to he could fuck you over six ways to hell before you even realized who was behind it. I mean, sure, you could take him in a fair fight, you could probably rip his head off his shoulders with your bare hands, but if I've learned anything about him it's that he doesn't come at you from the front. He's a conniving son of a bitch. If I work with him like I have been I can keep you safe and keep Eridan out of trouble in one fell swoop, I just have to weather his infuriating attitude.

[ he brushes some of gamzee's awful unwashed mop of hair out of his face. ]

Eridan isn't -- he's not a danger to me. Not right now. Not yet. [ he sounds surprisingly unhappy about this. ] He thinks -- he thinks we're friends. You don't need to worry about him right now. I've got the situation under control.

[caprihorn]

Brother, I all told you about Ed being a smart motherfucker first. _{Just didn't worry about himself too much since he's got a reputation to up and hold} and if he came at me I can all make motherfuckers think things about him that he can't fix easy like.

_{Ain't go the power to undo what I can to a pan.} Just worried you'll all get interweaved in his spincapturing plans.

_{Besides, wouldn't tell him shit about yourself if he up and paid in boondollars.}

[crab]

You might not see him coming until it's too late is what I'm worried about. I can't back out now, anyway. Just don't think I don't care about you, okay, because I do. I may be shitty at showing it -- no, I'm absolutely shitty at showing it -- but I really do.

[ there's a pause. he absently smears gamzee's paint a little more. ]

You were right, though. I don't really know jack about how to have a healthy relationship. No more than anyone else. I guess I am a terrible moirail.

[caprihorn]

Nah, bro. _{Don't like absentjoy shit tumble out your maw,} especially when it's lies.

_{If you weren't a good moirail you wouldn't have your nugbone no more 'cause I wouldn't know what calm was.}

[And kind of like a gazelle approaches a watering hole where it saw its sibling eaten the day before he moves his lips to Karkat's forehead and tries to give him the gentlest kiss possible. He's still a bit angry, but none of that rage is coming out in that action at least.]

And I'll get my remember on that you're caring about myself. _{Just like you all should know I care about you too, best bro.}

[crab]

Thanks Gamzee, that's absolutely reassuring and not vaguely threatening in the least.

[ dryly, though he doesn't pull away from the kiss. ]

Look, me not giving a fuck about rap and thinking your subjugglator religion hangup is bullshit doesn't mean that's how I feel about you, okay. It means I think it's dumb. I think a lot of things are dumb, Gamzee, if you're going to take it personally all the time we're going to end up having a lot of arguments like this one. Which are, coincidentally, dumb.

Just gonna abuse the icon because it's new and be thankful I'm fixing all these typos

[caprihorn]

Just telling the mother fucking truth. _{It's what happens at bad moirails} and I ain't gonna have pale feelings for an unworthy brother for them.

_{Other motherfuckers tried to keep me all calm before, but they weren't yourself.} Didn't work.

[His hold is becoming less and less strong. He's taken a bit to address that second part, ignored it even to address the first, because he just needs to consider it more. There's a bit of a pause where it may seem like he's going to keep ignoring it, but then:]

_{Alright, got now they ain't mirroring what you feel about myself} wish you'd like my shit, but then I don't got to be liking your shit either to love you more than any motherfucker that's done existed.