four bites

[seeksherownsalvation]

[ It's in the early hours of the morning when this post shows up on the network--as the dim light on the video feed attests. In fact, it's shortly before dawn. The redheaded teenage girl glaring bitterly down into the communicator looks like she's wide awake and angry as ever, though. ]

Man, you got any idea how tough this is? It's such a pain!

[ She waves the device, and the image on the screen blurs wildly. The picture jumps along a deserted side street, briefly settles on an ATM in the side of a small bank, and then returns to her face. ]

Trying to bust open this thing with no weapon and no super-strength...

[ Actually, she looks almost like she might cry. ]

It's stupid! It sucks!

[ THUNK. ]

Ow! Even kicking it does no good! But look, I gotta do something. It's not as if the 'Porter's stupid allowance is enough. The best snacks are all from Japan and those cost extra here. So, someone gotta lend me...huh, how about a pipe? A big metal pipe.

That'd do it.

Comments

[seeksherownsalvation]

SHUT UP!

[ And there she goes sounding like she's about to cry again. ]

[crab]

You shut up!

[seeksherownsalvation]

I already had to shut up because I died so I'm not gonna do it again, you jerk!

[crab]

Oh my god. Shutting that feculent blustery wind hole you call a mouth is not going to kill you, what the fuck! Maybe I am a jerk, but at least I'm not a cocoon wetting weenie!

[ no he actually is the biggest weenie. the weenie trophy goes to him. ]

I try to give you some constructive advice and this is what I get for it. You ungrateful shithead.

[seeksherownsalvation]

What? Stupid. Stupid! I didn't die because I stopped talking. I died because some...some bastard had me kidnapped and put into a fight to the death!

[ Her voice drops. ]

It's gotta be harder to remember. If I don't shut up. So--

I WON'T SHUT UP!