capeandcowl | 018 ♍ video ♍ backdated to this afternoon

[ feed cuts on to kanaya sitting at a desk in her room. her eyes are closed and lips pursed with her thumb and forefinger pinched above them, not parting very widely when she speaks, as if she's under some discomfort.

toothaches are awful. growing your fangs back in over the course of a day is worse. ]

This is likely already common knowledge to any who are familiar with him, but at this point I think it would be safe to conclude that Ron Weasley has returned home. To any who were closely acquainted with him, you have my condolences.

[ she winces and reaches offscreen to grab a glass of water, hands over her mouth as she holds a gulp over her front teeth a few moments before swallowing. why did she have to do this now? this was a mistake, she should have known better. ] Excuse me. [ she pulls her purse onto her lap and starts digging around in it for a bottle of painkillers. ]

So, unfortunately, this renders mine the primary income to a household of six, which may necessitate an expansion of that. This season does tend to create a greater need with the increases in consumption that the holidays bring with them, so I may have a fair amount of options that won't use my age as an obstacle. Assuming I can balance my schedule between that and my education...or maybe I'll simply need to drop that one.

[ she finally finds the pills and drops two in her hand. ] Of course, if any of you require an augmentation to your wardrobe for season functions, my services are always available for an appropriate fee.

[ the video ends as she pops some advil. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ her glow keeps trying to flare up, but it's only just coming back, and can't get past a very weak radiance. ]

Okay, I...actually own some of those. ...Or even the majority of them.

So you know your market.

I suppose, but...I don't know that I could effectively serve them in the manner they might expect. My...direct experience in such affairs is still rather limited. Were I to fabricate such an activity whole cloth, they may recognize the lack of authenticity.

Exactly. Talk like that. And cry about how hard unlife is. And maybe sometimes eat a baby.

Those are three things I'm not inclined to do at the moment. We whine on and on about the difficulties of unlife, but that is largely due to the lack of our own initiative in improving it.

And babies aren't especially well-flavored. Not unlike a wine is meant to ferment before being sampled. [ probably. she doesn't want to test that, honestly.

and she's not really sure what "that" she should talk like, but she'll leave that one unspoken. ]

Okay, fine. I guess you can...go work at lady footlocker forever instead. Phonelines are for people willing to sell at least half their soul.

That doesn't sound particularly appealing, either. It could be that I'd only be selling the other half instead.

So. Do something you want to do instead.

I doubt any of these fanatics would pay to have the full experience, complete with the marks on their necks and a consultation on their wardrobe afterward.

You don't know the internet.

I'm not sure if I should be amused by the idea of donors paying to have a pint taken rather than the inverse, or vaguely unsettled.

How would you even advertise for a service like that? Would it be terribly shallow to filter the candidates by their general physical appeal?

They're all probably fat. Or goth skinny. So. Powered by nicotine and masturbating to Dracula alone.

[Shrug]

But that's what facebook's for.

I don't believe that's a book I've yet encountered, though I've perhaps been perusing the wrong sections. How does it relate to any of this?

Mm. You have to ask the count. All his fanfic is [rude sound effect here] now.

So, Dracula's the only one with any lasting knowledge of this Facebook?

Yeah. It's a thing of myth and legend. If you google it three times, it summons the ghost of the Winklevoss twins to judge your bank account.

My bank account could do without the judging right now. That's part of the problem.

Then you've been warned.

I'll take that into consideration and be certain to limit my googlings to two, then.

018 ♍ video ♍ backdated to this afternoon

video;

video;

video;

video;

video;

video;

video;

video;

video;

video;

video;

video;

video;

video;

video;

video;

video;

video;

video;