01 ➔ text

[bloodplay]

[for the record, the name attached to this communicator id is neither brian moser nor rudy cooper! it is, in fact, vanilla ice. really.]

You know they have Import candy hearts here? The chalky kind. Apparently even the candy manufacturers have to roll with the punches. So far we've got MY HERO, SUPER MAN, and SUPER HERO. And SAVE ME, which comes off ominous. I think they're kind of cute. None too original, but can you really blame them? Look at where we're living.

Still, they've mostly stuck to the classics. It's nice to know that even after you cross over multidimensional lines and find yourself marooned in a universe where the laws of death are a gentle suggestion, they're still using SWEET PEA 50 years after its expiration date. There really are some universal constants. I'm sure it says something important about the human condition -- that or space constraints. Or both. We all do what we can with what we have, but how do you make the enormity of human desire compact enough to fit on a glorified Necco wafer?

FAX ME. Little 90s for my taste, but you can't win them all.

Comments

permavoice;

[waiting]

Never really understood the point. I figured if it was something worth saying, you'd just tell 'em yourself.

ImPort candy hearts are a new one, though. "Save Me," seriously?

and permatext;

[bloodplay]

Seriously. To be fair, the language of love involves a lot more four-letter words than you'd expect.

voice

[acrossyourpath]

This is some first impression.

text

[bloodplay]

I try.

[acrossyourpath]

I'm not sure you did.

[bloodplay]

No faith in the faceless text entity? For shame.

[acrossyourpath]

I don't have faith in a lot of things, it's not personal. Candy hearts are one way to start a conversation.

permavoice!!

[curses]

Well, aren't you quite the romantic.

[waiting]

I'm not sure "love" is exactly the word I'd use, here.

Video

[foreshadower]

It could be worse. It could simply say write me.

permatext!!!!!

[bloodplay]

Just getting into the holiday mood. Someone has to.

WHOOPS NOT VIDEO AT ALL

[bloodplay]

You know, I think even that's more relevant than faxing at this point. But it's funny you should say that.

[bloodplay]

Feel like sharing with the class?

[bloodplay]

Obviously. But I take it your preferred method involves less sugar.

[waiting]

It's more like the language of "I thought it was cute to show you I give a shit, except I'm too much of a cheapskate to actually get you a real present."

[ A beat. ]

Did you actually buy any?

[bloodplay]

I actually did. Eventually the taste starts to grow on you.

[waiting]

Whatever floats your boat, I guess.

If you actually like 'em, though, would've been cheaper to get 'em after Valentine's.

LMAO JUST TRICKING YOU INTO GIVING US BRIAN'S FACE

[foreshadower]

Is it? The problem with writing would be the mail, and it's only gotten progressively worse over the years if you ask me. Not so relevant compared to other avenues.

[bloodplay]

Poor impulse control. It's a character flaw.

But don't tell me -- you're a Peeps fan.

lbr not giving people brian's face is a public fucking service

[bloodplay]

That's what TWEET ME is for.

But they do, in fact, have that one. Can't alienate the niche market.

[waiting]

Not really a fan of any kind of candy, honestly.

[acrossyourpath]

I like to get a feel for a person's face.

[voice]

[superspeeds]

Those things are utterly disgusting. A waste of the confectioner's sugar that went into them, I swear.

[enigmaestro]

I don't know if that's specifically "imPort" or just kitsch. But you know what they say.

You are what you eat.

[LET THE BITCH WARS BEGIN.]

too true, too true

[foreshadower]

What is tweeting?