STAGE 13 - [voice]

[lastnerv]

I've been putting this off, because I didn't want to deal with it, but it looks like I can't just ignore it any longer. [Without people prodding at him, anyway.]

So, here: I'm sorry about that...whatever that posted as me last month. Like the others, it wasn't really me. Mostly, I think. The whole deal is complicated, and I don't really get it, but I know it said some hurtful things and I thought I should apologize. And to the people who didn't know me before then, I wanted to say I'm not really like that. [most of the time.]

There. That's all..


[Private to Kanaya Maryam]

You win. Happy?

Comments

action; oh my god does he try

[glowsferatu]

What you're doing right now? It's stupid. It's pointlessly punishing yourself because no one else will.

[ project some more why don't you, girl. ]

The blame isn't even. You might have been able to handle it with more finesse than this commander if you had the initiative, but his lack of that finesse is on his own head.

action;

[lastnerv]

The autopilot or whatever-it was all he could do. If it hadn't been stopped there-

[He shakes his head.]

If I had acted, I could have saved him. That's a fact, Kanaya. Maybe it's pointless punishment, but that doesn't suddenly make me feel any better about what I did.

Some people don't deserve to be happy, and I gave up that right when I killed him.

action;

[glowsferatu]

You don't strike me as someone who has ever spent much time being happy to begin with, Shinji.

action;

[lastnerv]

Heh.

[That's almost a laugh, and that's almost a smile. Almost.]

I could say the same for you, and you're doing okay. If we weren't so much alike, I wouldn't be telling you any of this. But...you understand, don't you?

action;

[glowsferatu]

[ she pulls up the chair behind her, propping her head up on an arm. ]

Only too well.

But I... [ she closes her eyes and groans, she doesn't even know why it is, but it always happens. ] ...I never react well to others in the same position. I hate just...knowing that they're experiencing them.