capeandcowl | ☾ text ❀ 011 ☽

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rose lalonde | seer of light

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Hello city!
I am not entirely sure what my feelings on Spring are. Regardless, I shan't complain about nicer weather nor about the chance to eat outside. Perhaps I will stop needing an umbrella when Summer finally arrives.

On that note, I regret to inform you that since Kanaya has decided my birthday is now July 12th, I will be expecting another set of birthday presents in three months. My condolences to my friends. If you are stuck on what to get me, I suggest checking my Amazon wishlist. :)

On a completely different note, I am looking for recommendations for books containing historical context into medieval torture. I would appreciate any input.

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Which Is Why I Was Talking More About Virgo Than Taurus
Taurus Has No Personal Significance To Me Outside Its Association With Others
This Is About The Significance Of The Sign In Alternian Culture
Kanaya Was The Name Given To Me By My Lusus
But I Chose The Sign ♍
And With It Came The Surname Maryam
There Is A Mythos Surrounding Our Signs That They Are Inherited From Figures In Our History
Our Ancestors
The Choices We Make In Selecting From The Alphabet Each Caste Is Offered Is Said To Be Driven By The Predetermination Of Paradox Space
Wherein The Sign We Bear Will Have Been The One Similarly Carried By Our Direct Genetic Predecessor
Highbloods Tend To Give It More Credence Than The Rest Of Us
I Never Really Thought Much About My Own Ancestor
Not Until I Actually Met Her Of Course

[ That’s a really long explanation that he can’t say he fully understands even having heard it all. Mostly because it’s alien, which is to be expected. Also because Kanaya feels the need to make every word at least three syllables longer than there’s any need for it to be. ]

ok wait wait

you pick these signs yourself and you just assume that they must have something to do with these ancestors and you dont think that seems kinda sketchy?

aradia told me about ancestors before, she said something about meeting her grandma from another universe or something

even if you can prove they’re even related to you which i dont even know how you can, how is that proof they wouldve picked the same sign you did?

I Never Said I Didnt Think It Was Ridiculous
But The Past Tense Is Important There
Its True That The Concept Of Serendipity Has Perhaps A Larger Position In Alternian Culture Than One Can Easily Rationalize
But Our Situation At Least Was Special And Isolated To The Point That It Can Be Easily Confirmed
Ive Met My Genetic Forebear And She Bore The Very Sign I Had
The Hand Of Fate Is Not Always Invisible If You Look Carefully
Paradox Space Exerts Its Influence Where It Sees Fit

yeah okay maybe it worked out for you
i dont believe in fate thats all. i mean come on look how many alternate worlds there are
and how many alternate futures
i didnt think you guys even had parents, how do you know this chick wasnt just some other troll who liked that sign a lot? if the surname comes with the sign of course shes gonna have the same name as you

As I Said Our Situation Was Isolated
Only Two Trolls Have Ever Carried My Sign For A Reason
Its The Same Reason Rose And Roxy Bearing The Same Surname Is No Coincidence
Those Who Reach The Lengths We Had In the Game Are Predetermined By Those Who Are Born Through The Game
And The Ectobiology Process Creates Both A Forebear And Their Offspring
Karkat Would Be Able To Tell You More Of The Process Given That He Presided Over It In Our Session
As For Fate You Can Disbelieve All You Like
But When It Is An Active Force In Your Life And The Paths You Follow Then Youll Only Be A Fool For It

so the game, the same one you guys all decided to play one day, is how you were born

you were created through it WHILE you were playing it

do you see how that sounds kind of fucked up?

[ He hates paradoxes. It’s so much easier to just not think about them, ever. It’s the exact same reason why he tries not to think about the Age of X. It’s just too complicated. ]

I Never Made Any Statement Otherwise
Our Direct Origins And The Ridiculously Complicated Timeline Alterations Involved Could Be Considered Nothing Short Of An Elaborate Clusterfuck
And My Relaying This While Understanding That It Is Fact Doesnt Indicate It Was Easy To Accept On First Hearing It
But It All Made More Mechanical Sense At Least Once Id Spent Enough Time With My Breeding Duties
The Processes Werent Dissimilar After All
Aside From Having To Force Paradoxes Due To The Linearity Of My Machinery
And Instead Of Ending With A Set Of Players For Two Sessions I Had An Entire Universe
Though The Equipment Was At Least Of The Same Mold

ok im pretty sure i didnt understand any of that so i give up. your world is crazy. No offence, i mean that literally, its actually insane so i think im just gonna take your word for it and not even question it anymore

this whole thing makes me think the human way of looking at starsigns makes a hell of a lot more sense and thats even though i think that stuff is hokey bullshit</font

None Of This Was Actually Exclusive To Our World
Or Typical Of It
Well Okay The Signs Sure But The Ectobiology And Things
That Is Exclusive And Typical To Players Of The Game In Question
I Used Rose And Roxy As An Example Because Their Relation Is Roughly Equivalent To Mine With Porrim
Aside From Cultural Differences I Will Grant You That Much
Otherwise They Were Born Through The Exact Same Methods

But Feel As You Will About Our Signs
You Tend To Take The Narrow Human Perspective When I Try To Explain These Things To You Anyway
The Important Thing To Take Away From This One Is That Whatever You May Think About Our Approach To The Rather Tenuous Alternian Concept Of Legacy Isnt Particularly Meaningful To Anyone Whatsoever
A Signs Personal Significance To Us Is Really Just That
Personal

[ Kanaya why would you say this? ]

wait
what do you mean they were born the same way? theyre human

arent they?

Of Course They Are Why Wouldnt They Be
The Genes They Were Sourced From Were Human
As Those My Party Was Were Troll
And So The Results In Each Case Reflect That
But We Are All Still The Products Of Our Respective Sessions
It Is Something Of An Inbuilt Assurance Of The Fate Paradox Space Has Decided

so youre basically all test tube babies
i dont really get how you couldve created yourselves in your own sessions i mean
where did the DNA even come from originally? what wouldve happened if none of you had ever even played that damned game?

It Was Copied Across Time
Roxy For Instance Would Have Been Copied From Her Own Genetic Material
Or Her Counterparts At Least
The Very Idea Of A Paradox Clone Is That One Is Created And Events Are Orchestrated To Where That Clone Will Return To The Expected Point Of Time Where It Becomes Clear That They Are In Fact The Original
Afterwards The Ectobiological Imprint Remaining Would Be Mingled With The Equivalent That Formed Dirk
And From This Mixture Rose And Dave Were Created

It Would Have Gone Similarly In Our Session But I Dont Know The Specifics
Karkat Doesnt Like To Be Pressed On The Matter
But If We Had Never Played Well
I Dont Think That Was Ever An Option
Our Existence Itself Was Testimony To Our Having Played From The Beginning
There Was Never Any Other Option
A Loop In Time Must Be Bound To Itself
Though I Couldnt Say What Would Occur Exactly If We Had Simply Attempted To Leave That One Open
Obviously Our Timeline Would Have Been Doomed By The Instability To Paradox Time And The Inviability Of The Offshoot
Most Likely We Would Have Died In The Destruction Of Our Planet

doesnt it screw your head around to even think about that?
i think fate is mostly crap anyway, i think people make their own choices
but i guess thats how doomed timelines happen
it sucks if youre in one

you ever think that could be what this whole freaking world is?
one massive doomed timeline that we're all caught in cause lachesis decided to make it that way

idk this is why i try not to think of this stuff

You Have To Remember These Are Things Id Learned Well Over Two Years Ago
Sure They Were Big Revelations At One Time
But Ive Had Time Since To Process It
And It All Makes Internal Sense At Least

I Dont Think This Is A Doomed Timeline
We Return To The Alpha Without Anything That Could Damage It Dont We
Havent You Done The Same In the Past
I Think This Timeline May Be Somehow Isolated From The Purposes Of Paradox Space
But Those Purposes Are Replaced By The Whims Of Lachesis
Shes Found A Way To Cut Us Off And Drop Us In As She Sees Fit
Given The Chance She Could Possibly Even Doom Every Timeline
And Why She Doesnt
That Is Something I Dont Want To Think About

yeah ive done that. i went home once but thats not the point, the point is that whatever universe we’re in is gonna feel like the alpha timeline to us

so when we think shes sent us back, she couldve just created a completely different alternate universe, its not like thats never happened in my world anyways

i dont know i cant prove it. and it doesnt matter, at least not while im there, i just cant help thinking like. maybe there is no alpha timeline, maybe theres just like millions of different options and we just dont get to see them unless lachesis teleports us to a different one
like she did when she sent us to metricog

[ He’s having uncomfortable memories of the Age of X reality here. If Legion could create another reality with one splintered off fraction of his mind, what’s to say Lachesis couldn’t do it too, just by virtue of the way she kept kidnapping people?

This is the last thing Julian wants to think about. He means it when he says it doesn’t really matter to him. But having literally lived through shifting realities, he can’t just pretend it’s not a possibility. ]

[ unfortunately, for a topic he doesn't want to think about, they're pretty deeply entrenched in it. and kanaya, much as she dislikes it, has spent too much time in the middle of it, forced to confront the questions and come up with answers to them. ]

I Think The Problem Is A Misunderstanding Of What The Alpha Timeline Is
It Isnt Simply The One Youre Native To
Its The One That Isnt Doomed
This Is The Economy By Which Paradox Time Operates
When A Timeline Is No Longer Viable It Is Abandoned
The Branch Is Left To Go Its Own Way To Its Eventual Dissolution
I Suppose They Collapse In On Themselves Eventually
Or Perhaps They Just Continue Into Oblivion
Stuck In An Endless Line Of Failure With No Hope Of Correction
Its Beneath Paradox Times Concern

The One That Matters Is The Alpha
It Must Be Nurtured And Guided That Its Eventual Conclusion Will Be A Fruitful One
That Fruit Being The New Universe Waiting At The End

Think Of It As A Sort Of Romance Between Time And Space
Where The One Path Must Be Followed To Ensure Stimulation And Uh
Well Eventually Gestation Of The Result Of The Reproductive Process
Stray Too Far From The Path And It Ends Poorly
Maybe Time Was Spent Prematurely Or Space Had A Headache
In The Worst Scenario They May Have To Contend With The Fallout Of A Miscarriage
This Is The Dead Fruit Of A Doomed Timeline
And Only The Alpha Will End In A Healthy Becoming
Though At Times The Alpha May Lead You Through Deceptive Results
The Two May Have To Lose One Child At Younger An Age Than Is Considered Fair
Only To Help Pave The Path Better For The Greater Offspring To Come As A Result

[ or at least that's what she has to believe. how else could she create a universe that was all but stillborn yet still a part of the alpha timeline? how could she have seen doomed ghosts who've done better unless she was supposed to fail? maybe she was better for paradox space as a failure than she ever could have been as a success. just don't make her decide whether it was really her fault or just the only way it could have turned out. she doesn't know and she doesn't know that she wants to. ]

i dont think thats right. I dont think theres only one timeline where everything works out

i dont think it has to all work out anywhere, its all just different degrees of how crap everything is

thats what ive seen anyways

i dont think theres one perfect option that we have to try and ‘nurture’ i think we just have to stay where we get put and try not to fucking die when it goes sour

because it always will

thats what i think

Everything Doesnt Work Out And Some Who Try Not To Fucking Die Wont Be Successful
That Isnt What Its About
What Im Talking About Is The Timeline That Ends In Birth
That Is The Definition Of The Alpha Timeline
It Nurtures Nothing And Has No Mercy
But It Will Spare What Will Bring About Its Purposes
Anything Else It Considers Expendable

youre talking about a timeline like it has feelings and choices, like its alive

how can a timeline consider anything? its the people inside it who have choices to make

I Dont Know How Exactly It Does It
It Just Does
Its True That We Have Choices But Those Choices Have A Path To Follow
Thats Just The Way It Is

maybe in your world

[ But not in his. He can't really bring himself to believe that. ]

If Yours Isnt Nearly So Concerned With Ensuring The Viability Of Its Progeny I Would Consider You Lucky

i mean theres alternate worlds all the time. they dont always survive but lots of them do. like i dont look at the city and think this is a doomed timeline thats gonna implode some day just because its not where im from you know?

I Cant Explain Exactly Why This Universe Or Yours Arent Governed By The Rules I Lived Under Elsewhere
All I Know Is Thats The Way It Was
This Doesnt Necessarily Give Us The Choice To Determine Where Our Future Will Lead
But I Still Believe We Have Some Part To Play In It Either Way
We Have To Earn Our Future If We Want To Make It Better
That Wont Happen On Its Own

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