capeandcowl | [video]

[There is a blue-eyed child looking at you. She can't be more than three. She is, however, wearing a very grown-up expression of dissatisfaction. And some kind of superhero outfit with a big "6" on the chest.

Ordinarily, Val would be cagier about immediately going public in a strange place, but, well, she has A Problem. When she speaks, it's with fully adult syntax and no hint of a lisp or any other childish speech impediment.]

Hi. I'm Valeria Richards. Assuming no alternate timeline stuff--not a safe assumption, I know, but sometimes you gotta live dangerously--it looks like there are a few people out there who're friends of my parents. You've got a couple of hours to come get me before they [she turns the phone to show a pair of what are presumably social workers, looking simultaneously put-upon and patient] try to stick me in foster care and things get sketchy.

[Anyone who knows Val will know that's more for the prospective foster parents' protection than hers. No one wants her turning some unfortunate family's appliances into her robot escape army.]

...'Bye.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

No, but my parents and uncles are.

[As is practically everyone she knows, except the people who are supervillains.]

[Good because the sentiment is mutual you walking logic puzzle you.]

Really? Interesting. Have to find out more. Possible parallels to human extraterrestrial experiences in own universe. First things first, though. Not naturally-occurring mutation, not baseline human child, not artificially-induced genetic alterations by extraterrestrials. Hm. Running out of options. [Mordin purses his lips slightly.] Problematic.

Unusually advanced human tech, maybe? Genetic modification native to Earth.

[Frowning!]

Aw, and they gave you a costume? My parents always take away my costume whenever they decide it's getting me into trouble.

Mom would completely have killed Dad.

[Seriously no one would ever have found Reed's body.]

[Val looks down at herself.] This is my school uniform. There are nanotech trackers in it.

[Which she doesn't want to remove because odds are she's getting kidnapped sooner or later.]

I don't know yet. I'm going to need an adult 'til I can build some robots.

[She learned by watching Dr. Doom.]

There're a few places you could go in the mean time so you won't be on your own. There's Xavier's, and of course you're welcome to visit with me and Hawkeye.

[Perhaps not the best option, but it's better than not offering at all.]

[Nothing. Nothing at all.]

Carpe diem.

Never mentioned your parents. [Smiling a little.] Father works in genetics? Intriguing.

How about accidental modification? Experiment gone out of control, enhanced child intelligence a side effect.

[Mordin's seriously on about the genetics option here, but it is his specialty.]

You mean you're bugged?!

[Calvin is utterly aghast.]

That's horrible! That means you can't sneak off or run away or anything! How do you live with that?

Dad works in anything he wants. [Being a comics genius means being a Doctor of Everything.]

You're sort of on the right track. Genetics are definitely involved. [Val's origin is messed up even for superhero comics.]

I can always spoof the transmission, at least until Dad figures out I'm doing it and upgrades the protocols. My brother gets kidnapped so often that they really should have given us transponders years ago, not that it'd slow down the smarter villains.

[Val does not have a normal life.]

[Val doesn't want to go to Mutant School!]

I talked to Julian. He sort of helped Laura babysit one time. [He distracted Laura for the 30 seconds it took Val to open a portal to another universe and let a giant dragon through.]

...Uh. I'm not sure Mr. Barton would be entirely sure how to handle that. [Which of course means it has to happen.]

[Mordin sniffs, taking in a deep breath. It's seriously rare for his intellect to take this many wrong tries to figure out anything.]

Very well then. Will review findings so far. Young human child of unusually advanced intellectual development, recently ImPorted. Advancement not result of deliberate genetic modification nor accident or naturally-occurring mutation. Leaves some other external factor responsible for altering your DNA. Just need to determine what it is.

Julian's a good kid. [But she isn't sure she'd let him babysit...] Clint's a big boy. He can handle anything you throw at 'im. Besides, the Mansion is big enough for everybody. And we've got dogs.

[Val picks up on something.] Ohhhh, you're using "mutant" in the old sense. That has a distinct technical meaning where I'm from, and I don't qualify.

There's quite a few of the Avengers here. Will they take you in?

[Val does not actually care about dogs, unless they're robot dogs.]

Well, Mom and Dad were on the Avengers that one time. [And everyone knows once that happens, you can never escape.]

[Wow is Val ever giving the camera an unimpressed look.]

And yet I'm the one not allowed outside unsupervised.

Life is unfair. Times one million in the City.

[Once and always.]

I'll have Clint make dinner. What would you like?

[ Of course she has a lightsaber. He wouldn’t be surprised if she’d turned up in an X-Wing for God’s sake. ]

Yeah, I remember how much you like giant lizards, believe me. There usually aren’t any here, you’re gonna be disappointed.

You probably have actual superpowers now though. That’s a plus.

[NO REFERRING TO THAT ON THE NETWORK HER DAD MIGHT SHOW UP AND THEN SHE'D BE IN TROUBLE

Ahem.]

...I don't need superpowers.

Hot dogs!

[What, she's three.]

Oh, probably. Do you know which ones are here besides Mr. Stark? [Since there are roughly a million Avengers.]

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