capeandcowl | Ver 3.9

Entry tags:

tony stark | iron man

Ver 3.9 | Video

[ Welcome to Tony Stark's very swank lab, in the bowels of his company. There isn't much there, the way the camera's angled, just Tony Stark's head from above, and he's accompanied by a large sea turtle (with a human penis attached) and a few scattered sheets of metal that haven't been worked yet. The camera faces down, which means Stark looks up at the camera, giving it a look. Lately, he's gone back to the mustached look, instead of the goatee. His hands spread across the table, like he's using it to hold himself up. ]

I'm not normally one to look down on someone using science to move forward. Hell, I'd fund them, if I thought they'd take it. That's kind of the point of being a futurist, is trying to figure out ways to improve our future, and I do mean that, the communal our. Unfortunately, we have some people who get in our way at every turn, and no matter how much we look, the rabbit hole gets deeper.

I took something of a vacation recently, with a few other people, and we thought -- hey, wouldn't a diving trip be fun? But wouldn't you know it? After we head into the warm carribbean waters, there's someone determined to make our lives a living hell. I mean, keeping us out of countries, sure, and I suppose it's our fault for heading to the Caymans, because of their connection with Britain, but hey, we had every right to be there.

Anyway, when we went diving, we ran into an issue. You see, being curious, spunky imports as we are, we decided to investigate the oddities underwater. The weird thing was, we found something in there. It wasn't your standard...oddly placed underwater storage facility, it was your average underwater shadowy organization research center. Complete with, [ he gestures to the turtle with a human penis attached to it ] mutated animals. Now see, there wasn't much there. I guess we startled them, or maybe they were afraid we'd get too close eventually, but there were some interesting notes. Apparently, this thing here [ he gestures to the dick on the turtle ] was supposed to launch fire. Talk about sexually transmitted diseases. This wasn't the only one, either. I mean, the rest were other body parts, but it looks like the same thing could have applied to those too. They were mutating them to have powers.

Just think abot that.

As someone who's used technology to give myself something comparable to powers, I think I have a hell of a position to be pretty outraged by this. Who knows, they do this, what's next, they build an army of... [ He looks down at the turtle, well, it wouldn't be an army of turtles with dicks that shot fire, but... ] people with powers to take us out?

Don't lose your vigilence. It was a team effort that led to some of us figuring this out. The more we work together to take care of them, the better off we'll be.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ So. Much. Silence. ]

Yeah, that's. I got nothing. I'm pretty stuck on... Yeah.

It's pretty odd, isn't it?

I wouldn't be too distracted, if I were you. The implications, despite the penis, are rather dire.

[ Yeah, yeah, he knows - and ok, no more head-tilting at the turtle. ]

Wouldn't be the first time people try to imitate powers. There'd been MGH and tech and who knows what else at home, so. [ And hero-ing beat it back every time because that's what heroes do, man. ] Which team effort should I be looking into?

Well.

I'm not exactly one to talk about using technology, but there are humane and inhumane ways to give people powers.

Although as for teams, it's up to you. I'd say, though, that in the end, we're all working together for this goal.

Oh, th- Obviously I wasn't meaning legitimate technology like you or Rescue or War Machine. Duh. I mean, like. That thing with the human-Sentinel hybrid thing that happened a while back. Stuff like that.

Then next time there's something needing doing, hit me up and I'm there. [ Stupid dumb hero teenagers. He can do things!! He can help!! But in the meantime, though. ] ...But what's that about countries keeping us out? I hadn't heard anything about that from anybody.

Rescue? Who's that? [ DUN DUN DUNNNNN ]

Don't risk the countries. I managed to sneak into Russia, when they were thinking about passing it. The law isn't something you want to mess around with. They're catching people pretty easily, actually. Whatever they have there, they can figure you out.

[ ....Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Crap, alternate pull points. ] Actually, maybe you could just forget that one codeword and. Since it's not really the point of what I was trying to make so. Can't go off-topic.

Well, duh - wasn't really planning on traveling. Vacations are, like, mad expensive. But then which countries are on that bus? I mean, just to know.

You know I'm not going to forget about it, so you should spill.

[ But, he pauses. ]

Norway, Russia, Italy, Ghana, England, Argentina, Norway, Germany, Savoletta, and Dolvania have all banned us.

Or maybe you actually could. It's a minor thing. Really. Not that important.

...Okay, it's been a while since geography pop quizzes but those last two not ringing any bells.

No, if someone's using tech, I want to know who they are, if they deserve a mention along with me and Jim.

The countries aren't at home. They're unique to this world, as far as I can tell.

There needs to be a handbook for who came in when. Okay, then... It's. Rescue is a good hero, she's-- Well. She's Pepper Potts. [ CAN HE HANG UP NOW OKAY GOODBYE??? ]

Oh. Alternate dimension. Right.

Yeah, alternate dimen--

[ The video actually flickers, the all too perfect construct winking out for a moment, before reappearing. He'd been doing this via extremis. ]

Excuse me?

[ Ahaaaaaaaa. ] I said it was Pepper Potts. She has her own suit now.

[ A long pause. ]

........She's really, really cool.

My secretary.

Mind, she's an impressive woman, but--

Where did she get it?

I'm pretty sure the P.C. term is "personal assistant" these days but.

[ OKAY DEEP BREATH. ]

From you? [ Duh. ] Well, she got her first not-reactor after she got caught in a blast from Stane and then she got the suit and Rand technology. Then she was running Stark Industries, and she helped bring you back after the H.A.M.M.E.R. and she got a new reactor and-- I mean, she's been awesome. A huge help all around.

[ He clears his throat. ]

Really. Stane is dead, you know. I think you're suffering from delusions. Let's not get into the rest of that mess.

Obadiah Stane, yeah - I was talking about his son, Ezekiel.

[ Do not mock his fanboy knowledge, okay. HE FOLLOWS HEROES, THIS IS HIS JAM. ~~His and Wikipedia's.~~ ]

When did he have time to have a son?

You really expect me to know that much?

[ He follows h e r o e s. Never mind that it'd be really creepy for him to know that much about any old dude, but especially Stane. Who was creepy. ]

All I know is he had him, and he started messing with everything generally related to Stark, and that's how Pepper Potts got her awesome new suit.

Great. No wonder nobody was willing to tell me anything.

My secretary has a suit. [ He doesn't sound upset, just a little sarcastic about it. He'd always thought Bethany would be a better fit, if he had to pick between the two of them.

Then again, Bethany had actually piloted his suit before. ]

I guess there's no need to worry about it now.

Given how complicated and crazy things can get, I can't really blame them for keeping their mouths shut.

[ A beat. And then, quietly-- ] "Personal assistant". Just saying.

I can, but then again, I'm the one who it has an effect on.

It's perfectly reasonable to want to know these things. You don't remember when you go back.

I heard about that - sucks, right. But... Hey, now you know? So if Pepper Potts shows up in an awesome super-suit now, you won't totally lose your mind.

I'm pretty sure I'll lose my mind either way. It's not something you're generally prepared for.

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