Ver 3.9 | Video

[liverletdie]

[ Welcome to Tony Stark's very swank lab, in the bowels of his company. There isn't much there, the way the camera's angled, just Tony Stark's head from above, and he's accompanied by a large sea turtle (with a human penis attached) and a few scattered sheets of metal that haven't been worked yet. The camera faces down, which means Stark looks up at the camera, giving it a look. Lately, he's gone back to the mustached look, instead of the goatee. His hands spread across the table, like he's using it to hold himself up. ]

I'm not normally one to look down on someone using science to move forward. Hell, I'd fund them, if I thought they'd take it. That's kind of the point of being a futurist, is trying to figure out ways to improve our future, and I do mean that, the communal our. Unfortunately, we have some people who get in our way at every turn, and no matter how much we look, the rabbit hole gets deeper.

I took something of a vacation recently, with a few other people, and we thought -- hey, wouldn't a diving trip be fun? But wouldn't you know it? After we head into the warm carribbean waters, there's someone determined to make our lives a living hell. I mean, keeping us out of countries, sure, and I suppose it's our fault for heading to the Caymans, because of their connection with Britain, but hey, we had every right to be there.

Anyway, when we went diving, we ran into an issue. You see, being curious, spunky imports as we are, we decided to investigate the oddities underwater. The weird thing was, we found something in there. It wasn't your standard...oddly placed underwater storage facility, it was your average underwater shadowy organization research center. Complete with, [ he gestures to the turtle with a human penis attached to it ] mutated animals. Now see, there wasn't much there. I guess we startled them, or maybe they were afraid we'd get too close eventually, but there were some interesting notes. Apparently, this thing here [ he gestures to the dick on the turtle ] was supposed to launch fire. Talk about sexually transmitted diseases. This wasn't the only one, either. I mean, the rest were other body parts, but it looks like the same thing could have applied to those too. They were mutating them to have powers.

Just think abot that.

As someone who's used technology to give myself something comparable to powers, I think I have a hell of a position to be pretty outraged by this. Who knows, they do this, what's next, they build an army of... [ He looks down at the turtle, well, it wouldn't be an army of turtles with dicks that shot fire, but... ] people with powers to take us out?

Don't lose your vigilence. It was a team effort that led to some of us figuring this out. The more we work together to take care of them, the better off we'll be.

Comments

[latrodectus]

Another kind of compensation, then.

[ And then more serious. ]

I assume you have suspicions. [ She also assumes he won't talk about them openly on the network. ]

encrypted.

[liverletdie]

I have plenty of suspicions, Natasha. Beginning with the fact that they're making powers. That's not easy science.

[latrodectus]

But it's a frequent enough accident. Back home.

[ Hmmm. ]

And here, they've got company.

[liverletdie]

Exactly. Company, money, and motivation.

That's three things that can be very dangerous in combination. Especially when their motivation is to deal with us.

[latrodectus]

That's a pretty generic us. [ She's thinking it over. ]

[liverletdie]

It's meant to.

Would you rather I just say imports? I don't know if I'd trust their influence over the native population as well.

[latrodectus]

It doesn't need to be imports.

[liverletdie]

Maybe not, but I wouldn't want to ask them to help with this. We're the ones with the powers. I wouldn't want to see them get hurt. At least unless I knew they could prove themselves.

[latrodectus]

No, I meant— the imports are the symptom, not the cause.

What if the target is the cause.

[liverletdie]

[ Hm. ]

You mean the porter.

[latrodectus]

It's a thought.

[liverletdie]

It's a hell of a thought.

[latrodectus]

If I wanted the imports gone, that's what I'd target.

[ on the other hand, targeting the porter kind of sucks ]

[liverletdie]

And then take us out, bit by bit. We won't come back, then.

[latrodectus]

Well. No one's figured out how.

[liverletdie]

Not yet, anyway. That doesn't mean it can't be done.

[latrodectus]

No. It doesn't.

[liverletdie]

I just worry they're going to do something very drastic, if they want to accomplish that goal.

[latrodectus]

It's a drastic goal.

And, you know. The penises.

[liverletdie]

Creating a penis that's intended to shoot flam is rather drastic as well.

Brings a new meaning to the term hand cannon.

[latrodectus]

It's an inefficient weapon. Always was.

[liverletdie]

It's more accurate when applied to other pursuits.

They weren't built for war.

[latrodectus]

But they start so many of them.

Maybe these ones, too.

[liverletdie]

An object not used for it's intended purpose can often bring about consequences.

Although if this is all about penises, I'm pretty sure it's a pretty petty reason.

[ But he understood the implication, well enough. ]

[latrodectus]

Dick-waving contests always are.