10. audio

[somethinglawful]

Oh my gosh, I need advice right now!!!

[gee, terezi sure does seem to be worked up about something. she sounds terribly distressed!]

I'm in big trouble!! I had a sleepover with my matesprit and gave him a kiss and now I'm going to get teen human pregnant and the clap!!! What am I gonna do??

[a pause. playing a hideously stupid prank on matt is not enough, she must drag finn into this too!!]

Finn, you'd better get a job so we can support our mutant hybrid wiggler!! Or baby!! Oh man, I don't even know what it's gonna be!

[and with that, she ends the post! this is her way of getting back at matt for telling her a lot of ridiculous things concerning boys and girls and what they ought not be doing with each other. trollgirls will always have their revenge.]

Comments

video;

[glowsferatu]

Terezi, as I have tried to educate you on multiple occasions, that is not the method by which reproduction is accomplished with humans.

permavoice

[somethinglawful]

Are you sure?? I think you might have been misinformed, Kanaya!

permavid

[glowsferatu]

[ you can't even see how much she's rolling her eyes, terezi, but maybe you can smell it! it's a lot, so much of a lot ]

No, I'm sure that I haven't. I've consulted from a wide enough variety of sources to be fairly certain about it!

Beyond that, I would put a high likelihood into the idea that your physiology wouldn't interface with his in the required manner.

[somethinglawful]

[with innocence that would make a saint shed a single tear of joy:]

But Kanaya, our lips smush together just fine!

[glowsferatu]

And there's far more involved with the process than just that. You aren't even a human, how would you experience pregnancy in a way at all similar to them?

[somethinglawful]

I don't know!! That's what makes it so terrible!!

[glowsferatu]

Your wording is entirely inaccurate. You use "terrible" where it would be more appropriate to say "imaginary".

[somethinglawful]

[yeah okay, she is starting to giggle.]

Yeah, well, that's the joke!

[glowsferatu]

Which joke would you be referring to? The one involving your understanding of the subject displayed here?

[somethinglawful]

Come on, Kanaya, I know you remember us reading that book together.

[now she's just teasing her. so mean!]

[glowsferatu]

That books largely eschewed the primary details. There were highly creative analogies at work, but little academic knowledge to one whose thoughts are more complicated than a wiggler's.

[somethinglawful]

Rude!! That book was awesome!

[glowsferatu]

Adequate, perhaps, for a shallow and uncultivated knowledge of the subject, but found quite wanting if one desired a more in-depth knowledge of the processes involved.

[somethinglawful]

Kanaya, I never knew you were so risque!

[can you hear her waggling her eyebrows kanaya? can you???]

[glowsferatu]

[ her eyes go wide and her glow flares ]

What? N-no!

My interest is purely academic!

[somethinglawful]

Suuuuuure! There is definitely no reason you would be looking up a bunch of books that go into graphic detail about the human act of reproduction.

[glowsferatu]

Idle curiosity, the relevance it would have with the ultimate purpose of my caste, accidentally encountering an example of its navigation in a novel I was reading.

I did not say there weren't reasons, only that they aren't nearly as salacious as you seem to imagine!

[somethinglawful]

Are you sure that's all you were reading about it for?

[and by now it is painfully obvious from terezi's tone that she is just teasing for the sake of teasing.]

[glowsferatu]

[ and from the way kanaya blushes, signs there could be something in the suggestion ]

Absolutely.

[somethinglawful]

[kanaya you gotta learn to keep that blush down, because terezi is leaping on it like a mighty dragon swoops down on an unsuspecting woolbeast. hell yeah.]

The delectable smell I'm getting right now says you're not being entirely truthful! Ahahaha!

[glowsferatu]

Could we possibly consider this being a direction in the conversation we will not take?

[somethinglawful]

Are you embarrassed?

[glowsferatu]

That isn't important.

[somethinglawful]

If it wasn't important I wouldn't ask!

[glowsferatu]

I can imagine a number of other reasons you might inquire, importance notwithstanding.