1818 - voice - A typhoon blows back into town

[plantpacifist]

This place AGAIN? I swear I hadn't been back home for more than ten minutes! Oh, Rem, why are the gods of misfortune and poverty always just a step behind me?!! [Whine, whine, whine.] Always I just try to do the right thing but every time it turns into a disaster! And then I get spirited away by some kind of demon computer to this bizarro Earth where total ecological collapse is a matter of decades and not centuries! I musta been real evil in a past life to deserve this!!

So ANYWAY. [Suddenly serious.] Ten minutes ago it was fall, now I look around and it's springtime. I know the Porter doesn't handle time in a sane, logical way. [Sigh.] How long have I been gone this time?

Comments

Voice

[slapping]

This place seems to be in the mood for bringing people back.

[plantpacifist]

Is it? I hadn't noticed!

... Sorry, it's just that I must have been gone at least six months and I haven't even had the satisfaction of being home long enough for the theme song to finish playing.

[He quits his high-pitched whining and adopts what he thinks is a suave, charming tone.] I don't think we've met, miss?

[slapping]

I wouldn't expect you too, having just arrived. It's just something I've noticed in the last few days of checking the comms.

We haven't, as far as I know. I'm Keiko.

[plantpacifist]

My name is Vash. You're new, then?

[slapping]

Not exactly. I've been here before as well.

[fingerbang]

[WHOA, THAT VOICE, IS THAT--yes it totally is]

CRAPPY COMBO COMPLETE

[fingerbang]

Well, well. I'll admit, I didn't think I'd hear that voice again.

[plantpacifist]

Oh, hello. [Casual as can be. You can just hear the habitual insincere smile in his voice.]

[fingerbang]

Hello yourself. Have your questions been answered?

[plantpacifist]

Not really. Care to enlighten me?

[ioudas]

This going home and coming back is a common thing, I guess?

[plantpacifist]

Well, it happened to me once before. But I never heard of a guy getting ported for ten seconds and coming back two years later.

If I didn't know any better, I'd say the Porter has it out for me personally.

[ioudas]

Don't feel too bad about it, I guess the Porter has it out for everyone.

voice

[slingshots]

What was the year, last time you were here?

[ BECAUSE MAN, YOU DON'T SOUND FAMILIAR AT ALL ]

Re: voice

[plantpacifist]

Uh, I forget. I think it was 2009. A lovely lady told me it was something like two and a half years since I was last here.

[slingshots]

Wow. [ a beat ] Mostly I figured the cut-off on returns was a couple months, maybe half a year...

Well, welcome back, anyway.

[plantpacifist]

I guess it's kind of nice to be back, after all. I'm Vash.

permavoice;

[xenabutagrizzly]

Your biggest concern right now is ecological collapse decades from now?

[plantpacifist]

Well, I dunno much about history, but I'm pretty sure it took something like three hundred years before Earth got its act together enough to send out colony ships.

The way things are going here humans will never last that long. [Which is a shame, says the disappointment in his voice.]

[xenabutagrizzly]

I hear it's different in every universe.

People here can already go to space pretty easily.

[plantpacifist]

Yeah, I've been here before, I know how it goes. This is an alternate dimension. And yet I STILL can't find my socks.

How far into space?

[conflagrations]

Maybe you've just got some really bad luck.

[plantpacifist]

You're telling me! TEN MINUTES!

[conflagrations]

Was it at least a good ten minutes?

[plantpacifist]

Not really. I spent most of it running away from a pair of pushy reporter chicks.