video;

[amoray]

I'm in a good mood.

[ which should be enough of an indicator that he did something wrong. anyway, this is eridan in his penthouse, having set up the comm on the small table in front of his couch! a fatass persian cat lords from his obnoxiously large cat tree off to the left. eridan steps back from the comm, kicks an unlabeled cardboard box out of view (it rattles in a metallic fashion), and flops down on the couch at his back.

completely shamelessly, in rumblr coolkid fashion, he is wearing this sweater. except it has a persian on the front. HOW EMBARRASSING. ]

In fact, I'm in such a good fuckin' mood I'm actually gonna buy you filthy plebeian animals holiday presents this year. That's a general you, a course, I do kinda hate the fuck outta some of you. Not gonna commit to anythin' here, but you can try me. Drop some Congo wishlists on me, or just giwe me some kinda idea what you want; I'm probably headin' out for the holidays, so I ain't gonna be here, and if I'm gonna bother I need a horn's up in adwance. Maybe you'll get it, maybe you won't, but there ain't no harm in askin' me, right?

No islands, no guns, nothin' illegal. Since I know somebody's gonna ask. [ pffffft. he rolls his eyes. ] What do I look like, some kinda fuckin' psycho? Puh-leeze.

[ apparently done (why did he even bother setting up the comm, anyway?) he steps back in, killing the feed. ]

Comments

video

[aggressiveapathy]

One million dollars.

video

[amoray]

Counts as an island, Ap.

Teeny island, but still.

Video

[aggressiveapathy]

Okay. So. Do I win?

Video

[amoray]

Yeah. Here's your prize.

[ and the camera pans to this monstrosity. ]

video;

[crab]

You shutting up forever.

video;

[amoray]

Come on, Kar, you're like the definition of a filthy plebeian animal. Work with me here.

Also, fuck off.

video;

[crab]

Wow, yes, that absolutely encourages me to work with you in any imaginable capacity. You are the master of diplomacy and goodwill, Eridan, it's you.

video;

[amoray]

Diplomacy wasn't my thing. You want an ugly sweater or not, Kar?

[ KARKAT DOESN'T EVEN GET TO CHOOSE HIS PRESENT. ]

video;

[deformer]

Plus one.

video;

[amoray]

Shouldn't you be reorganizin' your dueler monster cards or somethin'?

[ holy shit they literally just transported back to bill cosby pokeymans level of out of touch ]

video;

[deformer]

...

...

Does this mean you're not gonna do it?

video;

[crab]

See, even Rua knows what's up, and he's one of the most dedicated nincompoops I've ever encountered.

video;

[deformer]

Yea - HEY!

permavid

[centurybaby]

Nice sweater.

[amoray]

Thanks, I got it at Goodwwwwwoah, yeah, a good place, trendy fuckin' little place down the street.

[ BEAT. weakly: ]

You probably hawen't heard of it.

[centurybaby]

Yeah? I'm kinda into second-hand sweaters myself these days.

So what's the deal with you playing fucking Santa Claus?

voice;

[buttpatting]

"Filthy plebeian animals"?

[Never have three words that were not "you fucked up" sounded so terribly like "you fucked up." No, no. More like: you really fucked up.]

voice;

[amoray]

[ get out hannibal!! ]

Affectionate nod to when I still thought callin' people plebeians was trendy, 'bout a couple years back.

voice forever, etc.

[buttpatting]

[fort kickass more like fort smokedass with a honey glaze]

Did people take kindly to it then?

[If they did, Jesus Christ. The City has some strange trends.]

voice;

[slightlyoffchilt]

So is this some expression of overcompensation, or does it stem from a mild manipulation of getting others to return the attention?

voice;

[amoray]

Congratulations, you just pissed all ower this fine friendly holiday cheer. I hope you feel good about yourself.

voice;

[slightlyoffchilt]

Uh, I do.

voice;

[dragony]

Where are you going, this time?

[ are you kidnapping and torturing more politicians ]

voice;

[amoray]

Maybe Africa. You feel like a safari?

[ no just murdering TONS OF ENDANGERED ANIMALS u kno how it is ]

[dragony]

It could be nice. So long as it's not Egypt, anyway.

[ lions are strictly off-limits ]