01 | text

[fabricates]

So what's the 8ig idea?
I was 8usy with some really 8ig and important irons 8efore this, you know!
Not that I 8lame you for wanting a gr8 hero like me. I mean, you pretty muched gra88ed the 8est there is.
How could I 8e angry when this place o8viously needs my touch????????
8ut, unfortun8 as it is, I've really got to get 8ack to my irons 8efore they get cold. That fire won't fan itself.
I've got 8ig 8ads to kill, useless gru8s to save, and a game to salvage. I'm on a tight schedule to get it all done, so as much as I'm really flattered that you need me so much, I just don't have the time!
Don't 8e too upset, 8ut I'm just too 8usy to 8e your hero.
May8e some other time. Oooooooor not. We'll just have to see. :::;)

Comments

[glowsferatu]

[ their regular go to would be that collection of designer pillows that she normally keeps on the bed, but they've been scattered in her designing frenzy. avoiding the piles of fabric would be wise, never know when you'll hit a stray pin ]

Sometimes I'm uncertain whether I'm truly as strong as it would be necessary for me to be. In order to compensate for whatever the others may lack, I mean.

[somethinglawful]

[terezi ends up steering them toward the bed anyway. it's not a pile, but it's softer than the floor so it'll do in a pinch.

she takes a moment to coax kanaya onto the bed, preferably settled mostly in terezi's lap, before continuing the thread of conversation.]

I don't think it's appropriate to focus on other people when it comes to this, Kanaya.

[if/when kanaya cooperates with terezi's fussing, she will be rewarded with the tenderest of paps and hair-petting for her trouble.]

[glowsferatu]

[ she's far too tired to fight terezi on this, and she'd spent the last of her energy on that false standoffish posturing earlier, so she's guided without resistance ]

I'm uncertain what direction of focus would be more appropriate. [ this is, after all, the only standard from which she knows to base her sense of self-worth ]

[somethinglawful]

[once she has kanaya settled how she wants her, terezi promptly wraps her arms around her and strokes her hair. she hasn't had any sleep either and the comfort of being somewhere soft and curled up with someone else is nice. especially considering her earlier worries.]

You could start with just being strong enough for yourself? It's not a bad thing to worry about other people, Kanaya, but you always put everybody before yourself and in the end it only hurts you.

[glowsferatu]

[ kanaya wraps her arms around terezi's waist and just kind of chills there, staring distantly ]

Well, it wouldn't be proper to simply give myself all of that attention. Being strong only for my own sake would be far too selfish.

[somethinglawful]

[terezi frowns, though kanaya can't see it.]

Why wouldn't it be?

[she is gonna figure out where this thinking is coming from.]

[glowsferatu]

[ and terezi likewise can't see kanaya's, which is stern and a little annoyed, like she's asking questions with very obvious answers ]

Well, I... What purpose would it ultimately serve?

[somethinglawful]

It would make you happier in the long run.

[kanaya why can't you see this yourself :( ]

[glowsferatu]

[ kanaya lets out a huff, it makes it all sound weird when terezi phrases it that way ]

...But that isn't enough.

[somethinglawful]

Why not?

[glowsferatu]

[ stop making her think about this, it's too hard! ]

Because it...it wouldn't do anyone else any service.

[somethinglawful]

[it's terezi's turn to huff.]

That's not true. And even if it was, who cares?? You can't just think of other people all the time, Kanaya, it's not healthy!

[glowsferatu]

[ she lifts her head finally, wearing the biggest frown ]

Well, it should be plainly apparent that I'm quite concerned with the topic! Rhetorical phrasing and health being neither here nor there!

[somethinglawful]

[terezi makes a faint displeased noise in the back of her throat. maybe she had a misstep, there, but she's too tired and guilty to push the issue anyway. instead she buries her head in kanaya's shoulder so that she can mumble an apology for the way she probably sounded just then.]

Sorry.

[glowsferatu]

[ now it's kanaya's turn to feel guilty for snapping like that. she isn't sure what had gotten into her. she wraps her arms around terezi and rubs her back ]

No, you shouldn't be, I overreacted. It's...something of a sensitive topic, I suppose.

[somethinglawful]

[and now they are just wrapped around each other. terezi for one is 0k with this.]

I know. [she sighs.] You don't have to apologize over my apology. Maybe I was being too blunt.

[glowsferatu]

A little, perhaps.

[ because she doesn't want to put all the blame on terezi, but there's no way the topic isn't going to be incredibly uncomfortable for her, anyway ]

[somethinglawful]

I guess it just upsets me that I can't get you to understand how valuable you are.

[glowsferatu]

[ should she feel guilty over upsetting terezi, or for giving her the impression that she can be valuable? who says it can't be both ]

I recognize that my actions can hold value, when they're directed outward.

[somethinglawful]

[wait no kanaya the answer is neither :c

terezi's grip on her tightens in lieu of a pap as terezi nuzzles against her, still frowning.]

No, no, no. You are worth something.

[glowsferatu]

[ terezi would always maintain this fact, but it was always missing one important detail ]

And what is that, exactly?

[somethinglawful]

[terezi doesn't know how to answer that, which is why they always end up coming back to this issue.]

You know I can't answer that. It's like...a super philosophical question that only you can answer.

[a little beat.]

But...if you weren't worth anything...why would you have made it this far? You would have been culled otherwise, right?

[glowsferatu]

[ well, no, she wouldn't be culled, not while she still had her duties to fulfill ]

I am worth as much as my capacity to serve. And even that, at times, can be negligible. [ as vriska could surely testify ]

[somethinglawful]

[yeah seriously fuck vriska]

You're not only defined by what you can do, Kanaya!

[glowsferatu]

And what would serve as a more suitable basis of appraisal?