second carcino ♋ text ♋ backdated to feelings jam. (the 8th)

[crab]

[ transcript for those who don't want to wade through capslock courier. ]

DO YOU WANT TO HEAR SOMETHING FUNNY?
I MEAN, SIDE SPLITTINGLY HILARIOUS.
BRACE YOURSELVES AND TRY NOT TO HAVE A SEIZURE ON ACCOUNT OF HOW FUCKING FUNNY THIS IS OK.
I CREATED A UNIVERSE.
WELL, MY FRIENDS AND I DID.
AMAZING, RIGHT?
IN FACT IT WAS PRETTY DAMN SIMILAR TO THIS ONE.
THE UNIVERSE WE CREATED HAD A VERSION OF "EARTH", TOO, WHICH LEADS ME TO QUESTION HOW THIS ONE EVER CAME INTO EXISTENCE WITHOUT OUR INTERFERENCE, BUT I DIGRESS
I'M PRETTY MUCH A GOD.
HOW IMPRESSIVE IS THAT!
IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE OUR REWARD. TO ENTER THE UNIVERSE WE MADE AND INHABIT OUR PARADISE PLANET.
THAT'S THIS ONE.
AND RULE OVER IT.
THIS WAS OUR PRIZE. THE ONE I'D LED US THROUGH A SIX HUNDRED HOUR CAMPAIGN OF GAMEPLAY TO WIN.
AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT I GAVE IT?
WHAT I INFECTED THIS ULTIMATE REWARD WITH?
CANCER.
I GAVE
AN ENTIRE
UNIVERSE
CANCER.
HA HA HA.
YEAH.
AND THAT'S NOT EVEN THE HALF OF IT, NO.
THAT'S ONLY THE BEGINNING OF MY STELLAR LEADERSHIP CAREER.
DO YOU WANT TO HEAR MORE? OF COURSE YOU DO. WHY WOULDN'T YOU WANT TO LISTEN TO THE DEGRADATION OF MY REMAINING SANITY AND SELF RESPECT! IT'S A GODDAMN SPECTACLE, I SHOULD BE SELLING TICKETS TO SEE THIS SHIT.
I'LL TELL YOU.
WE WERE BARRED FROM ENTRY TO THIS CANCER-RIDDEN "PRIZE" BY THE PERSONIFICATION OF THE DISEASE ITSELF.
WE HAD TO HIDE OUT IN SOME GODFORSAKEN LAB ON SOME GODFORSAKEN METEOR.
LONG STORY SHORT, WE MADE CONTACT WITH THE INHABITANTS OF THIS UNIVERSE WE CREATED. HUMANS. THAT'S YOU.
NOW, ME BEING THE HOTSHOT EXAMPLE OF MATURITY AND DISCIPLINE I AM, I IMMEDIATELY SET UP A LASER GUIDED ATTACK ON SAID HUMANS' SELF ESTEEM.
BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS THEIR FAULT WE'D BEEN DENIED OUR REWARD. AND THAT WE WERE ALSO ALL GOING TO DIE.
WHILE I WAS MERCILESSLY WRECKING THESE SQUISHY FLESH SACKS' HUMAN SHIT IT CAME TO MY ATTENTION THAT THEY WEREN'T ACTUALLY THAT TERRIBLE.
TURNS OUT I WAS THE TERRIBLE ONE ALL ALONG.
IN FACT IT'S HARD TO CONVEY JUST HOW TERRIBLE.
FUCK.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING THEN
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING RIGHT NOW.
WHAT AM I EVEN SAYING HERE. WHY AM I DOING THIS.
IT'S SO FUCKING POINTLESS.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE HAPPENED, WHILE I WAS BEING AN UNMITIGATED DOUCHESUCK TO A BUNCH OF ALIENS?
TROLLS DIED.
MY FRIENDS DIED.
WHILE I STOOD THERE AND WATCHED LIKE AN IDIOT
I JUST
I FROZE UP. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO STOP IT. IT WAS SO FUCKING FAST.
IN FACT IF I HAD TRIED TO STOP HIM HE PROBABLY WOULD HAVE KILLED ME TOO.
BUT BECAUSE I WAS A USELESS SACK OF SHIT I SURVIVED.
AND
ONE OF THEM DID COME BACK.
I'M STILL NOT SURE HOW. BUT SHE DID. AND I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD HAVE DONE IF SHE HADN'T.
BUT THE OTHER DIDN'T. AND I
IF I'D JUST
I DON'T KNOW.
THAT WASN'T IT EITHER.
WHILE I'D HAD MY BACK FIGURATIVELY TURNED ANOTHER OF US
WELL
HE WENT CRAZY. INSANE. HE FUCKING LOST IT. AND WHEN MY SPECIES GOES CANKERPLANK PUSLOOPS WHAT WE TEND TO DO IS START MURDERING EACH OTHER.
AND MAYBE IF I'D PAID ATTENTION TO HIM TO BEGIN WITH INSTEAD OF MY OWN RIDICULOUS HORSESHIT I COULD HAVE PREVENTED WHAT HAPPENED NEXT.
BUT AGAIN
BECAUSE I APPARENTLY DON'T LEARN FROM THE MISTAKES OF MY PAST SELF, NOW MATTER HOW UNFORGIVABLE
I FROZE UP.
I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING. I GOT SCARED, OK.
I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE SCARED OF ANYTHING OR ANYONE ELSE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
I DON'T THINK I EVER WILL BE AGAIN.
SO I FLAKED OUT
I TOLD SOMEONE ELSE TO FIX IT FOR ME.
I TOLD THEM TO KILL HIM FOR ME.
WHICH I WISH I COULD SAY IS THE STUPIDEST DECISION I'VE EVER MADE, AND IT'S FUCKING DEPRESSING AS HELL TO KNOW THAT THAT WASN'T.
BECAUSE THAT WAS INCREDIBLY STUPID.
I SENT HIM TO DIE.
BASICALLY.
AND
SOMEONE ELSE TOO.
BOTH OF THEM DIED BECAUSE OF ME.
I MIGHT AS WELL HAVE KILLED THEM MYSELF.
PEOPLE DIED WHILE I SHAT AROUND AVOIDING MY FEELINGS LIKE A SLOPSPINED WRIGGLER.
AS IF THAT WAS A NEW THING.
THAT'S PRETTY MUCH WHAT I DO BEST!
IN THE END I DID WHAT I SHOULD HAVE DONE TO START WITH.
I DON'T THINK YOU'D GET IT SO I'M NOT GOING TO BOTHER EXPLAINING.
IT'S A TROLL THING.
AND I'M GLAD I DID IT.
BUT
I SHOULD HAVE DONE IT SOONER.
I SHOULD HAVE BEEN LESS OF A WORTHLESS ASSMONGER OF A COWARD.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I REALLY SHOULD HAVE DONE?
I SHOULD HAVE LET TEREZI BE THE LEADER.
THERE
THAT'S THE JOKE.
I'M A FAILURE AT EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER TRIED TO ACCOMPLISH
I'VE LET DOWN EVERYONE I EVER HAD THE SMALLEST SLIVER OF RESPECT FOR
I'M THE REASON FOR THE DEATH OF AN ENTIRE UNIVERSE AS WELL AS THE PEOPLE I ACTUALLY GAVE A SHIT ABOUT.
HA HA.
I
DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT TO SAY ANYMORE.
I'M DONE.
MEMO OVER I GUESS.












I'M SORRY.

[ karkat will default to replying in text for this post. please say so if you want me to switch to voice for your character. ]

Comments

they're stupid and teenagers and i love them

[glowsferatu]

Are You So Spectacularly Deficient In Your Faculties That You Fail To Recognize The Quadrant Theyre Discussing
I Do Not In Any Manner Fear Your Worst Nor I Will I Hesitate To Match It Exponentially
Leave Her Alone
Immediately

Re: they're stupid and teenagers and i love them

[caprihorn]

LAST MOTHERFUCKIN TIME I BELIEVED A MOTHERFUCKER WASN'T TO BE HITTING ON MOTHERFUCKERS LIKE HE SAID HE WAS.
he broke up with me.
AND THEN HE PURSUED YOU AND ROSE.
why should i get to believing a motherfucker with just what they say?
FEAR IS THAT TRICKLING AND PRICKLING SENSATION WHAT YOU SHOULD GET YOUR FEELING ON FOR WHEN I ALL TELL AT YOU I MIGHT DO MY WORST.
because i can make terezi too afraid of you to get close at you, sister.

[glowsferatu]

Karkat Doesnt Approach His Quadrants With The Same Fickle Affections As Eridan
Theres No Comparison On The Matter Of Their Attitude Toward Fidelity
And Should You Make Such An Action
I Promise You Now It Will Be Your Last

[caprihorn]

WRONG ON THAT.
it wouldn't be close to the last thing i could do at you.
AND DON'T MOTHERFUCKIN CALL THE MOTHERFUCKER WHO LEAD YOU THROUGH THAT GAME LIKE A ONE OCCULARED BROTHER LEADING A BLIND SISTER OUT OF THE FOREST WEAK.
and i guess i can see the point on fidelity now.
BUT YOU STILL ALL NEED TO LEAVE KARKAT ALONE.

[glowsferatu]

I Never Called Him Weak
I Only Meant To Imply That His Abilities Lie In Another Field
Not One That Would Properly Serve In The Hypothetical Situation Presented
And You Seem To Be Confusing Your Tenses
Im Certain You Have The Capability To Do Far More
But I Wouldnt Allow You The Opportunity To Do Anything More Than Have Your Blood Mingle With The Putrid Waters Of Your Bog As They Spill Out From The Blossoming Cavities Of My Handiwork
So Back Away From Her Or I Wont Give A Whipping Bugwinged Fuck Who Will Be Bothered By Your Death

[caprihorn]

kanaya.
EQUIUS DIDN'T FIGHT ME WHEN I GOT TO MURDERING HIM.
you all might not either.
USE YOUR THINKPAN AND CONSIDER THE SHIT I'VE PUT TO SIT IN THERE.

[glowsferatu]

Equius Had Other Obvious Distractions In The Matter
I Lack Those Same Inclinations
So I Wont Spare Your Life Or Hesitate To Strike Out Of Some Ridiculous Notion That I Might Assign You To A Quadrant In My Keeping

[caprihorn]

you sure that's all what he had?
TOLD YOU TO GET YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN UNDERSTANDING ON.
and you haven't.
MAYBE YOU WON'T AND YOUR MIND WILL JUST GET TO PULLING AND PUSHING.
pushing and pulling.
UNTIL IT POPS.

[glowsferatu]

I Refuse To Continue This Correspondence
Unlike Certain Individuals I Could Name I Know When To Yield To My Moirails Better Discernment

[caprihorn]

DIDN'T KEEP ON WITH SAYING I'D HURT YOU.
just got myself making a motherfuckin funny comment about a funny idea.
BUT I'LL STOP FOR KARKAT, LIKE YOU NEVER GOT VRISKA TO STOP FOR ANYONE.

[Disconnect.]

[somethinglawful]

STOP K4N4Y4
JUST
STOP
YOUR3 ONLY 3NCOUR4G1NG H1M TO B3 MOR3 OF 4 R4G1NG 4SSHOL3

[glowsferatu]

[ there's a slight delay as she just stares at this message, takes a deep breath, and purses her lips as she types out a quick response ]

He Was Threatening You
He Had To Be Made Aware How Unacceptable That Is

[somethinglawful]

1 UND3RST4ND TH4T BUT
1 JUST DONT W4NT TO D34L W1TH H1M R1GHT NOW
OR S33 H1M THR34T3N YOU
SO L34V3 1T 4LON3
PL34S3?

[glowsferatu]

Im Not Concerned With His Threats So Long As Theyre Exclusively Directed At Me
I Can Prevent Outside Harm By Becoming The Target Of It But I Will Not Tolerate His Entertaining That Thought Toward You Or Any Other

[somethinglawful]

[wow this is not helping her argument that she is good at pacifying kanaya this is literally becoming the worst day]

LOOK 1LL
1LL COM3 OV3R OR SOM3TH1NG
1M SORRY 1 H4V3NT B33N 4ROUND TOD4Y
W1LL YOU JUST STOP UNT1L 1 G3T TH3R3
>:?

[glowsferatu]

No Ive Been Similarly Preoccupied It Isnt Your Fault
But Alright
Ill Disengage If You Insist

[somethinglawful]

1 1NS1ST

[and in fact she is making good on her promise of coming over, because she is realizing that she's spent basically the entire day away from kanaya, and that is not a good thing considering her recent behavior. god, she really is shitty at pacifying her. what an awful feeling.]

[glowsferatu]

[ kanaya herself only just stepped back in shortly before, having had many things to see to and inadvisably express over the course of the day. it's been since morning that she last saw terezi, so the interruption is welcome.

her communicator is off, and she's doing some tidying around the room when terezi comes in ]

[somethinglawful]

[terezi shuffles in without fanfare. she thinks that maybe she's scrubbed her face enough that's it's not obvious she was just crying, but she's wrong, and really the scrubbing probably just makes her look worse. out of all the stupid things terezi did today, her fight with karkat really took the cake.

but she is kanaya's moirail, and it is her job to pacify. she's feeling pretty guilty over the fact that she can't seem to get that job right.]

Hey. Shhhhh.

[and, of course, there's no disguising the rough note to her voice that indicates recent tears. maybe kanaya won't notice anyway, she thinks.]

[glowsferatu]

[ her face drops when she sees terezi, her mood almost palpable. god, she had been such an idiot. she'd been so caught up in that stupid clown's threats that she completely missed the meltdown that led to it.

she moves in immediately to hold terezi against her chest ]

I'm so sorry, I was acting like a fool.

[somethinglawful]

[terezi doesn't resist, letting her head droop against kanaya's shoulder.]

Yeah, I know. [wow that wasn't a nice thing to say at all, what is even wrong with her today?? she paps kanaya on the back to make up for it.] It's not your fault. I should have been paying attention.

[glowsferatu]

[ she ain't even bothered by the lack of niceness, it was her fault anyway ] No, it was. I should have been doing the same, better recognizing the context that led into this altercation.

[somethinglawful]

Gamzee pissed you off and I did a shit job of pacifying you. That's not your fault, Kanaya.

[well that isn't exactly what she intended to say when she started, but it just kind of...came out...]

[crab]

[ YEAH YOU SUCK ]

[somethinglawful]

[STFU KARKAT]