fourth carcino ♋ text

[crab]

THERE ARE SOME ISSUES I WOULD LIKE TO ADDRESS.
TO EXPLORE, IF YOU WILL.
EVEN DISCUSS, WHILE WE'RE AT IT.
ALLOW ME TO PRESENT MY GRIEVANCES:
WHAT THE FUCK IS *WRONG* WITH YOU GUYS?
WHAT HAS EVEN BEEN *HAPPENING*?
ARE YOU ALL INSANE? YES, YOU ARE. YOU ARE INSANE. I AM SURROUNDED BY PSYCHOPATHS.
I NEED NEW FRIENDS.
YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT'S THE BEST IDEA I'VE EVER HAD.
FRIENDSHIP POSITIONS OPEN. REQUIREMENTS: NOT BEING A MURDER-HAPPY, REVENGE-OBSESSED PYSCHO WHOSE IDEA OF RESOLVING A SITUATION IS IN ACTUALITY MAKING EVERYTHING A SOLID BILLION TIMES WORSE.

Comments

permavoice; DON'T YOU CALL YOUR ADOPTIVE DAD A PSYCHOPATH

[beatstheclock]

You gonna tell me what happened, or what?

permatext; HE DOES WHAT HE WANTS YOURE NOT HIS REAL DAD

[crab]

PEOPLE DIED.
PEOPLE MADE TERRIBLE DECISIONS.
THE EXCREMENT HIT THE WHIRLING DEVICE.
AND NOW EVERYTHING IS SHIT.
THE END.

[beatstheclock]

Decisions like not slitting the other guy's throat fast enough? Shit, it's like you didn't learn anything from me.

[crab]

I LEARNED PLENTY FROM YOU.
MOST OF IT INVOLVING THE TREATMENT OF STAB WOUNDS.

[beatstheclock]

Seein' as the murder-happy psycho who took you out wasn't me, I think you passed.

So who managed?

[crab]

ERIDAN AMPORA.
THE SEA HIPSTER IN THE TACKY CAPE AND SCARF.
YOU MIGHT REMEMBER HIM.
HE WAS PRETTY OBNOXIOUS.

[beatstheclock]

Oh for fuck's sake.

That's just embarrassing.

[crab]

HEY JACKASS HOW ABOUT YOU SHUT YOUR CRUSTY SPEECH CANAL?????
HE TOOK ME BY SURPRISE OK I DIDN'T KNOW HE COULD MAKE HIS STUPID MAGIC COME OUT OF HIS HANDS.
I THOUGHT HE WAS UNARMED.

[beatstheclock]

Shoulda killed him first just to do the world a damn favor.

Didn't know he had it out for you.

[crab]

YEAH WELL
YOU MISSED A LOT.
AFTER WE WON THE GAME AND ALL THAT FLOWERY HORSESHIT AND WE WERE ABOUT TO TAKE OUR PRIZE AN OMNIPOTENT DEVILBEAST YOU FROM ANOTHER SESSION SHOWED UP AND FORCED US TO RETREAT INTO THE VEIL TO HIDE OR ELSE BE TREATED TO A FRIENDLY MURDERGREET.
AND WELL WHILE WE WERE THERE HALF OF US SNAPPED AND STARTED KILLING EACH OTHER.
ERIDAN WAS ONE OF THEM.

[beatstheclock]

Spare me the whining and get to the important part here. Omnipotent devilbeast me?

[crab]

YES
HE WAS FROM THE SESSION BY THE INHABITANTS OF THE UNIVERSE WE CREATED WITH OURS
HE MANAGED TO GET A HOLD OF THE QUEEN'S RING, AND THEY PROTOTYPED THEIR PLANET'S FIRST GUARDIAN
AND HE SOMEHOW MANAGED TO BE EVEN MORE OF A MEGALITHIC ASSHOLE THAN YOU.
I MEAN AT LEAST YOU HAVE YOUR REASONS FOR STABBING ME.
THIS JACK WAS JUST STRAIGHT UP PSYCHOPATHIC.
HE WAS SO FAR FLIPPED OFF THE HANDLE THAT THE HANDLE'S EXISTENCE IS NOW A MATTER OF HISTORICAL DEBATE.