[text]

[onmyneck]

It's disappointing that the future has yet to give up on some of the barbaric, uncivilized customs of the past. The high school prom, for instance.

And with prom season coming up on this summer's social calendar, I'm spoiled for choice on which of my many outfits I should wear. I do have my signature style of staying at home and watching a marathon of Ice Road Truckers, but I wouldn't want to show anyone up. Adolescence is a tricky time.

In case some of the older members of this network feel left out, feel free to tell us about your experiences at prom. The most awkward story wins a t-shirt.

Comments

[glowsferatu]

So Incomparably Edgy That It Is In Fact No More Than A Shapeless Slab Of Steel Placed Within A Hilt

[onmyneck]

Hmm. Maybe more like a dagger.

[glowsferatu]

I Had In Mind Something More Rectangular
All Edges
None Of Them Sharpened

[onmyneck]

Of course. A mace.

[glowsferatu]

Personally I Was Visualizing Something Smaller And More Useless

[onmyneck]

Is it an animal, a vegetable, or a mineral?

[glowsferatu]

What
Well
Mineral I Suppose Its Still Like A Knife
While Not Actually Qualifying As A Knife Due To Uselessness

[onmyneck]

Is it a member of the British royalty?

[glowsferatu]

I Dont Know What That Means

[onmyneck]

Is that a 'no'?

[glowsferatu]

We Can Classify It As A Maybe Until More Information On The Topic Has Been Secured

[onmyneck]

You're quite the shrewd player.

[glowsferatu]

You Cant Just Go Jumping Into These Things When You Have Little Conception Of What Youll Land On

[onmyneck]

This is a free country. I'll jump wherever and whenever I please.

[glowsferatu]

And Youll Hopefully Enjoy The Fragmented Spine Youll Receive As A Result

[onmyneck]

Count on it.

[glowsferatu]

I Could Transport You To A High Enough Precipice That You Might Comfortably Practice This Maneuver
If That Would Expedite The Process I Mean

[onmyneck]

I'll make my own way up a dangerously high cliff, if you don't mind.

[glowsferatu]

Id Advise You Against Falling During The Climb
But That Was The Ultimate Intention To Begin With Wasnt It

[onmyneck]

Carpe diem. Or, to put it more eloquently, YOLO.

[glowsferatu]

Thats A Distinctly Untrue And Stupid Statement To Make Toward A Member Of The Undead

[onmyneck]

Oh boy. Now I'm embarrassed.

[glowsferatu]

As Well You Should Be
Its Really A Tremendous Oversight

[onmyneck]

The living dead are too often marginalized in society.

[glowsferatu]

You Say That As If Id Somehow Be Unaware Of The Fact
I Was Familiar With Vampiric Persecution Long Before It Was Relevant To My Existence