capeandcowl | permavid; only registered name on the comm is "spider-man"

[ The video is up-side down. It's hard to tell, because the guy in the video is also up-side down, sticking to the shiny, windowed side of an office building by his hand and feet. He looks distinctly spider-man themed, but the design is different and so is the voice. He sounds awful young. ]

Okay. Okay. I'm not freaking out but- [ A pause for some quick, audibly shallow breaths. ] -uh. I might be freaking out? Uh. There's- there's someone else living where my house is supposed to be which is really not cool, and I can't figure out what happened to the Triskelion. I'd like to help y'all out but.

If I had- uh, I don't know, directions maybe I could... knock on the door and get you some r-real- some better heroes. I kind of know Nick Fury? Sort of.

And it sounds like you need that. I-I mean, I can stop muggers and stuff, and I guess like The Ringer and Kangaroo (I'm so not making that up, there's a dude that calls himself "Kangaroo"), but this whole-- this whole alternate dimension thing is way over my head and-

[ Hitched breathing. ] And I'm still... working on it.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I- I-- what's that supposed to mean?

...Have you not seen what you're wearing?

S-so? Like everyone has a spandex costume.

Not where I'm from.

Uhhh.

What do they wear?

Th- There isn't any they. I don't have any of the, uh. We don't have superheroes. At all.

It's-- it's just you?

[ suddenly your dimension is looking worse than the cannibal rapist hulk dimension???? ]

What do you mean, just me? Th- What?

T-there's no one there to [ STOP YOU ] h... help people?

[ WOW GOOD CATCH THERE ]

There are, you know. Normal people for that. Police and firefighters and. People like that.

W-well yeah.

But what about like.

Alien invasions and stuff.....

[ GIVING YOU SUCH A SIDE-EYE TBQH ]

Uh.

We don't have those either?

... S.

Seriously?

Why would I lie about that?

Uh.

I-I-- I don't know? But it's weird...

I think it's weird that any place has that stuff, to be honest. I mean, i- All that stuff is straight out of the movies or, or a comic book.

Uhh-- I guess? But movies and comic books have to get it from somewhere, right?

--Wait, so nothing happens in your world? Like, ever?

Stuff happens, just. You know. ...Normal stuff.

[ beat ]

I mean. Aside from my whole. Problem. Obviously.

And you don't think that's, you know, weird??

...No. Because it's normal.

[ MAYBE IF HE SAYS IT SLOWER THIS KID WILL GET IT??? ]

[ ROFL SQUINTING AT BRUCE DON'T U TAKE THAT TONE W/ HIM ]

Whatever, dude. You're crazy.

[ HE'LL TAKE WHATEVER TONE HE WANTS!!! ]

Wh- I'm not craz- You're the one wearing the crazy suit-thing!

[ ROFL CROSSES HIS ARMS SELF-CONSCIOUSLY OVER HIS CHEST ]

I think it's cool.

It is, in a, uh, a going-to-a-convention type of way, yeah, but.

[ sighing ]

Never mind.

[ LMFAO GOD BRUCE NOT EVERYONE IS RESIGNED TO THEIR FATE AS A LOCKER-DWELLING NERD YET ]

Right. Better than purple shorts.

(no subject)

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