voice;

[amoray]

[he doesn't start speaking right as the feed starts! there's a solid second or two of eridan trying to find his train of thought, the occasional heavy, expectant breath or two the only signs of his false starts.]

Well, Mexico was a shipload a fun. Don't know about anybody else's impromptu as fuck abscondin'.

Not my point of makin' this point though, so listen up, landlubbers.

[there is a decided lack of flair in eridan's voice, despite the (sharp, direct) pun/nautical reference or two. he's purposeful.]

They say they're cuttin' me loose soon, probably on account a my bein' such a charminly well-behawed prisoner and all. Due to personal circumstances, I'll be needin' to get a few affairs in order before my date a release.

I need a place to liwe, a tutor for the upcomin' schoolfeedin' year, and hopefully enough, some manner a profession. If you're willin' to hire a sewen solar sweep year old like myself, a course, don't want to go about misleadin' folk. Lyin' to 'em. Suchlike.

[a stale beat.]

No nosy hiwemates. Roommates, whatewer. I don't fuckin' like most a you and I probably won't giwe a shit about your problems, so keep your cartilage nubs outta mine. I got more than enough beetles in my coffers to keep me afloat for a while, so rent ain't gonna be an issue. Probably.

[a beat. he sounds like he means to say something dramatic or heartfelt to top off his posts like usual, and then:]

Preferably cat friendly. But I'm flexible.

Comments

[caprihorn]

YOU EVER CONSIDER JUST ONCE LISTENING AT WHAT MOTHERFUCKERS SAID AT YOU TO HELP YOURSELF?
you ever consider that we tried to up and help yourself?
AND YOU FAILED BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T GET YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN LISTEN ON.
didn't chill about feferi and you fucked shit up.
DIDN'T STOP KILLING ANGELS AND NO MOTHERFUCKER VISITED YOURSELF.
didn't all take my word when i said ed wasn't no good for you.
DIDN'T LISTEN TO MYSELF WHEN I KNEW THAT SHIT WAS GONNA END.
you didn't open your hear ducts to any of us.
AND YOU'RE STILL FUCKING FAILING.
the problem ain't him bro, it's always been.
MOTHERFUCKING.
you.
HE TRIED TO HELP YOURSELF MORE THAN ANY MOTHERFUCKER AMONG US.
and now you think you've got to having a right to hurt him.
BROTHER, ALL THE RIGHT FOR HURTING GOES TO HIMSELF.
and if you do hurt him i'll murder you alone this time.
AND YOU WON'T EVEN HAVE A GUARDIAN GET TI DISTRAUGHT THOUGHT.
at the sight of yourself's nugbone.

[amoray]

wwhatevver

[this entire post has been so emotionally draining he can't even muster the venom to properly hate on gamzee. can't even.]

[caprihorn]

[That's okay, he's sort of distracted with horrifying Karkat now anyway so not as much venom would be redirected on Eridan with all his effort.

BUT HAVE THIS CONSOLATION PRIZE:]

JUST PROVING MY FUCKING POINT, BRO.
and stop turning them vs into w like motherfuckers.
THEY ALL STILL DON'T DESERVE THAT SHIT.

[amoray]

sure soon as you quit talkin like a fuckin juggalo

[HE'S NOT TIRED ENOUGH TO MISS GOLDEN OPPORTUNITIES.]

[caprihorn]

[THE ONE INSULT THAT COULD ACTUALLY PISS HIM OFF FOR DAYS.}

i don't talk like a juggalo.
I DON'T MOTHERFUCKIN ALL TALK LIKE JUGGALO.
don't ever.
MOTHERFUCKIN.
even joke about that.
THEM MOTHERFUCKERS GOT TO SOUNDING LIKE ME.
and me.
NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

[amoray]

sure my main fantastical fuckin brother wwhatevver youre all up at motherfuckin makin the wwicked noise about bro

[FEELING A FLEETING MOMENT OF SATISFACTION]

[caprihorn]

WHAT HAS SHIT BLOOD AND IS ABOUT TO BE THROWN INTO A JUGGALO PARTY THAT HE CAN'T GET AWAY AT FROM?
hint: he help vveering away from what real noise is.

[amoray]

trick question the answwer is karkat vvantas and the shitty inescapable juggalo party is evvery day a your moirallegiance

[caprihorn]

LEAST I GOT A MOIRAIL TO HAVE A PARTY WITH.
nothing you could ever have.
AND I STILL AIN'T A JUGGALO.

[amoray]

he wwas holdin me back anywway wwho cares about him
and arent you still doin that bullshit juggalo religion thing or did you stop that i dont keep up wwith shit thats beneath me unless i absolutely got to

[caprihorn]

from what?
TEXTING MY MOIRAIL WHILE DRUNKER THAN SHIT?
and why do you all bother asking if you don't care?

[amoray]

wwoww kar wway to run your fuckin mouth
not that i got anythin to be ashamed of a course but still some fuckin discretion wwould be nice
anywway i hear they got twwo mirthful as fuck figureheads of a mythical cult around here so if youre still into that fakey fake fake fiction id go seek em out
think a it as like a pilgrimage except instead a findin enlightenment youre just bein fuckin stupid

[caprihorn]

BRO, YOUR CULT AIN'T MY THING.
but maybe you are one of their motherfuckin messiahs if you get to be nothing but pan-emptied.

[amoray]

that made no fuckin sense not wwhatsoevver
then again swweeps a shovvin dowwn that slime had to of done SOME damage wwhich kinda explains a wwhole fuckin lot a things actually

[caprihorn]

I'LL ALL EXPLAIN IT FOR YOURSELF SINCE YOU'RE SLOWER THAN A BROTHER BLEEDING TO DEATH FROM HIS FUCKING TOE.
you said the religion all achieved being fucking stupid instead of enlightenment.
I'VE BEEN MOTHERFUCKIN TALKING AT YOU ABOUT HOW YOU DON'T GET SHIT.
and i've been telling you it's why you fail.
AND TO DO THIS SHIT LIKE YOU DO YOU HAVE TO BE STUPID AS FUCK.
so, a religion being about stupidity
AND NOT ABOUT THE SHIT I'M INTO
is perfect for yourself.
THEY'D PROBABLY THINK YOU'RE ONE OF THEIR MESSIAHS WITH HOW BIG A HOLE YOU GOT IN YOUR PAN.
do you get it now?
OR DO YOU HAVE TO HAVE IT EXPLAINED AT YOU MORE SLOW LIKE?

[amoray]

oh it wwas actually as fuckin pointless and stupid as i thought it wwas the first time i read it
good to knoww

[caprihorn]

still stupid as fuck.
GOOD TO MOTHERFUCKIN KNOW.