capeandcowl | voice;

[he doesn't start speaking right as the feed starts! there's a solid second or two of eridan trying to find his train of thought, the occasional heavy, expectant breath or two the only signs of his false starts.]

Well, Mexico was a shipload a fun. Don't know about anybody else's impromptu as fuck abscondin'.

Not my point of makin' this point though, so listen up, landlubbers.

[there is a decided lack of flair in eridan's voice, despite the (sharp, direct) pun/nautical reference or two. he's purposeful.]

They say they're cuttin' me loose soon, probably on account a my bein' such a charminly well-behawed prisoner and all. Due to personal circumstances, I'll be needin' to get a few affairs in order before my date a release.

I need a place to liwe, a tutor for the upcomin' schoolfeedin' year, and hopefully enough, some manner a profession. If you're willin' to hire a sewen solar sweep year old like myself, a course, don't want to go about misleadin' folk. Lyin' to 'em. Suchlike.

[a stale beat.]

No nosy hiwemates. Roommates, whatewer. I don't fuckin' like most a you and I probably won't giwe a shit about your problems, so keep your cartilage nubs outta mine. I got more than enough beetles in my coffers to keep me afloat for a while, so rent ain't gonna be an issue. Probably.

[a beat. he sounds like he means to say something dramatic or heartfelt to top off his posts like usual, and then:]

Preferably cat friendly. But I'm flexible.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[wrote up the tag went back right before submitting and damned if i didnt write tumblr]

Your shit is my shit.

[beat.]

Was. Whatewer. Point is I drank outta and possibly ended up lickin' your tumblers. Maybe all a 'em. Maybe your faworite one.

[this non-arguing is eerie as fuck he's kind of hoping eddie says something dickish or hangs up or something so they can get back to sassing each other earnestly!!]

[It may very well come. He notes that conversation with Mitchell.]

Wouldn't be the first time you put your tongue somewhere unwanted, I'm sure.

Aside from hawin' the shittiest phrasin' known to man, what's that supposed to mean?

Your darling, if wince-worthy, display with your Alternian playmates is still very public, you know.

So? I ain't the one imaginin' people pailin' each other.

Ick. And he did say he imagined relatively everyone.

And considerin' how much time he spent thinkin' about how best to spite you...

Hardly any time at all, if I recall.

Please. He's been throwin' fits and whinin' all the fuckin' time about you for months.

And now that we're broke up, he's probably thinkin' a ton about you in his bein' a smug fuck routine.

No.

No, no, no.

[Wow that's pretty... denial-ridden...]

You're lashing out in the most obscene manner because your feelings were hurt.

You're soundin' emotional, Riddler.

[though that last comment has turned his tone back into dull spitefulness.]

Isn't that your aim? To make me sound emotional?

No? Why should I giwe a shit whether you sound emotional or not?

Well, it anything, it would indicate lingering investment.

Which we'we obwiously established that you and your new moirail don't hawe.

Eridan. [Oh no, his authority voice.] Leave Mitchell out of this, you're hardly in a position to take pot shots at the Mayor.

[INSTA RESENTFUL.]

And considerin' our current predilections, you ain't in a position to tell me shit.

I'm still your Deputy Mayor!

Nobody cares about the Deputy Mayor!

Falsehood! You probably care.

[IGNORING THAT]

What the fuck does a Deputy Mayor ewen do, anyway? Giwe the Mayor backrubs and order around unsuspectin' office peons for coffee and crosswords?

What! I am still heading the Mayoral braintrust! I handle legislation arguments and factual investigation! Not to mention the social obligation.

So you do paperwork.

Scintillatin'.

Hence why one must have hobbies.

Crosswords don't count as hobbies when you do 'em compulsiwely.

(no subject)

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