video;

[amoray]

[the feed is underwater, and not immediately focused on eridan (though his cape does drift slightly into view here and there). few, if any, will recognize the atlantean palace or its throne room, but the architecture and the being underwater thing might tip them off.]

Considerin' it's been about a week or so now, and I hawen't seen skin nor scale a her, it's pretty safe to say that Namora a Atlantis ain't roamin' these waters no more.

[a pause.]

That bein' said, as the last sea dweller and the only indiwidual who ain't got garbage slippin' through their weins around here, it's only natural that I take ower their palace and assorted territories in their absence. Maintain 'em and such.

Aforementioned territories bein' all sewen seas and ewerythin' in between, for the record.

[he flips the camera away from a meandering lionfish (his name is xerxes the sewenth) and to himself, comfortably sprawled in namor's throne. and being smug as a motherfucker. like literally, he's been super smug about shit before but at the moment his smugness may be mutating surrounding sealife just by how goddamn potent it is.

the lay of his cape obscures the slight bulges under his clothing at his shoulder and leg, for the most part, but his left fin is visibly torn, and still an angry purple.]

As fair and generous warnin', I'm allowin' the humans continued usage a my oceans not outta goodwill, but outta necessity. Mostly since you lungbreathers would probably start whinin' your tailfins off about widespread starwation or some shit if I didn't. But if I start seein' anythin' I don't necessarily like happenin' in my waters, I won't hesitate to fuck some a your laughable tin can ships all manner a up 'til the message starts comin' through clearer-like.

I ain't currently acceptin' wirgin sacrifices or tributes a precious metals and stones, but be watchin' for that in the future.

[he gives a little wave of his ringed fingers at the comm.]

Ewenin', dirtscrapers. And long liwe the Prince.

[end feed.]

Comments

[centurybaby]

I'm a big girl, Your fucking Highness. I don't fucking need daddy.

[amoray]

Really? 'Cos you could use the help.

You ain't exactly imposin' or anythin' on your own, wiggler.

[centurybaby]

You have no fucking idea.

[amoray]

I'm shakin' in my scarf.

[centurybaby]

I'd teleport down there and choke you by the fucking scarf, but I don't wanna get my leather jacket wet.

[amoray]

Feel free if you ewer got the time. I got sharks outside I'm trainin' to attack on command and they need to get a taste for dirtscraper blood.

[centurybaby]

Too bad I'm not fucking human.

[amoray]

Mutant, whatewer. It's all the same to them.

[centurybaby]

Still not fucking right.

I'm the 21st Century, asshole.

[amoray]

Is that supposed to be some sorta lame catchphrase?

[centurybaby]

No. It's fucking literal.

[amoray]

...You got dents in your thinkpan or somethin', kid?

[WOW LOOK WHO'S TALKING]

[centurybaby]

First of all, don't fucking call me a kid.

Second, being crazy doesn't fucking change what I am.

[amoray]

Wiggler. Sure.

And a course bein' crazy don't change bein' stupid. If that were true, a whole lot more a the folk I knew back home wouldn't be the all sorts a fucked up they ended up becomin'.

[centurybaby]

Fine, don't fucking believe me. I don't give a shit. But don't fucking make me come down there and alter the reality out of your fucking hipster troll self.

[amoray]

Terrifyin'.

Why don't you listen to Quen and back the fuck off? Trust me, it's good for you.

[futureleader]

Wow, jesus.

My two best friends are at each other's throats like fucking lions.

[amoray]

I think she's hittin' on me.

[futureleader]

No. She's just like that. Though you might want to be careful. She may just piss in a tidepool if you happen to be in one just because she can. I mean.

She gave me a fucking swirlie once.

[amoray]

I hope she doesn't try pullin' any sorta shit with me, 'cos then I'd hawe to gut her like a fuckin' trout.

And I figure that might kinda depress you.

[futureleader]

Oh my god! Can we be civil badasses just for like, five seconds?

[centurybaby]

He fucking started it.

[futureleader]

You both need to stop being weenies.

We've got Quentin Quire, Jenny Quantum and Eridan Ampora.

All three of us are badass and we're all capable of fucking shit up. And I'm pretty sure we're all the same age.

[centurybaby]

No, fuck him-- and fuck you too, Quentin fucking Quire. Don't tell me to play nice. You're not my mom.

[futureleader]

Damn right I'm not your mom. I'm pretty sure you saw what's down there.