voice;

[amoray]

So.

Any a you ewer had a nemesis before? Like fated fuckin' contentiousness, always gettin' up each others' gills doin' shit just to irritate 'em, duelin' to practically the death, maybe makin' out a little, that kinda thing.

See, I'm in the market for just that particular arrangement, and while I'm personally a master of the bellicose arts and don't need any adwice or nothin', I obwiously got a wested interest in how humans go about poorly imitatin' the quadrant. What with my bein' the main troll-human confidante in these parts and such.

[he pronounces it "con-fee-dawn-tay". also he means intermediary.]

Despite most of you bein' from a society bearin' a sewerely inferior romance system and therefore gettin' your emotions all scrambled up wrong from the get-go 'cos of it, I'd appreciate hearin' some personal tales.

Comments

private;

[enigmaestro]

I dispense a lot of advice.

[Slowllllyyyyy drawing this out.]

private;

[aggressiveapathy]

You gave it exactly ten seconds ago.

private;

[enigmaestro]

Oh, that advice. [His tone is just a bit sour.] I thought you meant the one about reducing intern intake for the sake of balancing our budget.

private;

[aggressiveapathy]

Oh my god, really?

private;

[enigmaestro]

That's why I asked for specificity.

private;

[aggressiveapathy]

Fine. Be as involved in his violent things as you want. Make it a whole blood orgy weekend. Whatever. Not like I care.

private;

[enigmaestro]

Forgive my perhaps misplaced observation, but you rather seem to care.

A little.

private;

[aggressiveapathy]

[Cue the frustrated growl.]

Well. That's a little stupid of me, then.

private;

[enigmaestro]

Let the record show that I am not the one criticizing you. [Beat.] For caring so deeply about my well-being.

private;

[aggressiveapathy]

No. I am. Because if I'm gonna think about things that want to get violenced I should just start liking Wendy's cows or lemmings or NASCAR or something.

private;

[enigmaestro]

Want to get violenced?

Want?

private;

[aggressiveapathy]

[More sulky then angry now. The rage takes energy.]

Fine. Maybe not the cows.

private;

[enigmaestro]

I don't care about the cows! Screw the cows, in the most metaphorical way imaginable!

You're implying I'm looking for torment.

private;

[aggressiveapathy]

Yeah. I guess. Do you want to know if I'm right?

private;

[enigmaestro]

Of course you're incorrect. [Though he says this without the usual gusto of his confidence.]

private;

[aggressiveapathy]

That's an interesting opinion. I guess we'll never know.

private;

[enigmaestro]

It isn't as if I -- [beat...] Exude such an impression.

private;

[aggressiveapathy]

Mm. Why am I staying away from a homicidal fish while you poke it with a pointy word stick.

private;

[enigmaestro]

Because I know how to handle psychopaths, especially when they're shorter and less experienced than I am.

private;

[aggressiveapathy]

[Less experienced at being a psychopath, eddie?]

So this is all part of the totally reasonable plan.

private;

[enigmaestro]

[Hey catching his slips is so rude!!!]

Indefinitely reasonably, despite your untimely sarcasm, yes.

Just trust me, April.

private;

[aggressiveapathy]

Yeah, well. That happens both ways. I can help.

Or at least drug his fish food at appropriate moments.

private;

[enigmaestro]

What does he eat, anyway?

[AWKWARD INVASIVE QUESTIONING.]

private;

[aggressiveapathy]

Eddie.

private;

[enigmaestro]

I do hope that's not the answer.