[text]

[onmyneck]

My New Year's Resolutions:

1) Exercise more. Preferably, exercise my right to die of heart disease at a young age.

2) Be more friendly. Ensure that no one will suspect my eventual betrayal.

3) Learn a language. I'm leaning towards incomprehensible gibberish or pig latin.

4) Get a tattoo of my own face on top of my current face. See if anyone spots the difference.

5) Never give up. There's always something to watch on TV.

Comments

[invoking]

I'm not going to ask strangers anything...!

[onmyneck]

You've already talked to me. I'm a stranger.

[invoking]

We've spoken before, however!

[onmyneck]

Who are you again?

[invoking]

Gilbert!

[onmyneck]

Is that with one l or two?

[invoking]

One "L".

[onmyneck]

And is it with two e's or three e's?

[invoking]

It's...

[ then he'll slowly punch it in on the communicator: ] gilbert

[onmyneck]

Who's Gilbert?

[invoking]

ME!

[onmyneck]

How did you get access to this post?

[invoking]

Not this again!!

[onmyneck]

To receive further access to this conversation, please enter the password.

[invoking]

[ DISCONNECTS. >:( ]