ex_engineers208: (Default)
ᴍᴀᴅɪsᴏɴ ᴊᴇғғʀɪᴇs. ( box ) ([personal profile] ex_engineers208) wrote in [community profile] capeandcowl2013-01-30 02:23 pm

eight □ video. joint.

[ The video opens on a sub-basement laboratory of the Xavier Institute. There stands who else but...Sydney Greenstreet? He gives the audience a small, knowing smile as he stands there in his rotundity in a black suit, holding a cigar. ]

Mm hmm hmm. I distrust a man whose trust for other men is determined more by his trusts than his distrusts. There is no trust without discretion, and in that scrutiny we develop the distrusts that determine our interactions with the world at large. I do like a man who tells you upfront that he distrusts you, saves the time of founding a trust that only disguises the true distrust present.

[ Once he's done he gives his audience a very stern look that holds for all of five seconds before it starts to crack, erupting into a hearty laugh. When he continues, his voice is different, now a rich, purring baritone that may sound familiar. ]

I'd like to present to you the X-Club's latest invention, a new take on an old classic... [ He fusses with something on his wrist, and his black suit turns with with a small red fez on his head that's more Casablanca than Maltese Falcon, until finally the illusion dissipates to reveal the slightly hunched form of Hank McCoy. ] ...the image inducer!

[ Hank straightens himself to his proper height, and the camera pans out to accommodate, now including Madison Jeffries in the picture to his left. ] This baby brings back memories. It works by projecting a hologram over its wearer, allowing them to appear however they like, and voice modulation to complete the disguise. Back in the day, those of us whose mutations were more visibly apparent used to use these to facilitate our free movement through society. These days, it doesn't really come up as often.

[ Madison cuts in, fiddling with something behind his back -- his hair looking a little off, pulled away from his face. ]

We still reckon it’s a highly utilitarian tool that might come in handy for imPortkind, if we iron out the kinks. Uh. We got a handful of secondary and tertiary projects bein’ worked on; most a’ them are distraction-like. "Distraction-like" only in that we have other primary projects, but they all have their applications. No matter how seemingly frivolous.

Actually! [ Hank nudges Madison with his elbow with an excited grin. ] Why don't we show them that other one we finished yesterday?

Aaah. [ For a second, Madison looks rather uncomfortable -- mortified, mostly. ] We don’t gotta show them everythin’. [ Hank spreads his arms, his smile growing wider. ] Ohhh, none of that now! There's no need to be shy.

[ Madison throws him a mildly despairing look, then reaches behind his head to pull off what appears to be a rubber band; his hair falling down in a rather luxurious, white-streaked wave. Hank beams. ]

He’s buyin’ me a haircut later. Entirely worth it. [ Madison sighs, blowing a loose strand away from his face. Vaguely, with a wave: ] It’s a, uh. Hair thing. T’sall. Enzymatic overdrive a’ follicular cells, yadda yadda. Whatever. Guaranteed to give you hair like Ka-Zar overnight! [ Hank says it with a wink. ]

Anyhoo, we’re on the tail end a’ publishin’ the results a’ the headline project, but if y’wanna donate a hint a’ tissue for the sciences... it’d be much obliged, yeah? There were some concerns last time it came up that I wasn't... [ In the mood to deal with. ] ...available to answer, that we'd like to be more upfront with now. What we're looking for for is proof of physiological connections between imPorts that are absent in the native populace, so obviously we'll need a reasonably sized sampling pool of imPort volunteers.

So, y’know, with that lil’ hint a’ clarity -- please? We got cash, alright?

[ They both give big, slightly desperate smiles for the camera before the feed cuts. ]

red is madison, blue is hank
professorlionface: (Genius may overrule humility at times.)

[personal profile] professorlionface 2013-01-30 10:15 pm (UTC)(link)
You probably thought I was joking, didn't you?
mocks: (cleavage)

[personal profile] mocks 2013-01-30 11:02 pm (UTC)(link)
I didn't think you had it in you.
professorlionface: (Can't be overly concerned at the moment!)

[personal profile] professorlionface 2013-01-30 11:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Never underestimate what I have in me, you really can never tell when I'm just joking.
mocks: (pb -zomg lol)

[personal profile] mocks 2013-01-31 12:19 am (UTC)(link)
It'll never happen again, cross my heart.

You should get 'im to donate his hair to charity.
professorlionface: (pic#3702039)

[personal profile] professorlionface 2013-01-31 12:52 am (UTC)(link)
Maybe we can let it grow a few more days so we have more to give! Actually, I wonder if we couldn't get the formula to a marketable enough level that we could donate that, too.

...And maybe slip some in Clint's shampoo, while we're at it.
mocks: (clint i'll drive)

[personal profile] mocks 2013-01-31 01:00 am (UTC)(link)
I'm sure he'd love that.

In fact... this might be the funniest prank of the season.
professorlionface: (pic#3702036)

[personal profile] professorlionface 2013-01-31 01:03 am (UTC)(link)
Just imagine, you could have your own Harlequin-esque Adonis just in time for Valentine's!

...You wouldn't want to apply it any sooner than the twelfth, of course.
mocks: (workin' the ponytail)

[personal profile] mocks 2013-01-31 02:00 am (UTC)(link)
It's just what I've always wanted.

Literally.
professorlionface: All icons <user name=kingrockwell> unless otherwise noted (like this one!) (I really should get a bigger mug.)

[personal profile] professorlionface 2013-01-31 09:03 am (UTC)(link)
You're lucky we got the kinks worked out of our earlier formulas! I doubt you'd want a similar effect on body hair.

[He idly scratches at his chest through his shirt.]
mocks: (wtf is that)

[personal profile] mocks 2013-02-01 04:19 am (UTC)(link)
[How terrifying a thought!]

Unfortunately there just isn't the market for that, is there.
mocks: (hurm)

[personal profile] mocks 2013-02-01 05:21 am (UTC)(link)
Maybe it could be marketed to pets.
professorlionface: (You're sure about that?)

[personal profile] professorlionface 2013-02-02 09:23 am (UTC)(link)
Do you really think anyone would pay to have their dog even shaggier?
mocks: (biggest grin ever)

[personal profile] mocks 2013-02-03 04:39 am (UTC)(link)
Never question to absurdities people will indulge in when a pet is involved.
professorlionface: (What was that?)

[personal profile] professorlionface 2013-02-03 06:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, I shudder to think of it! And here I was hoping I could use it to improve lives, not...be the water cooler talk of the dog show circuit.

That's the last thing I want!
mocks: (confusion)

[personal profile] mocks 2013-02-04 04:17 am (UTC)(link)
Let's nix the body hair angle and stick with the Ka-Zar locks.
professorlionface: (What was I thinking?)

[personal profile] professorlionface 2013-02-05 05:35 am (UTC)(link)
That's...probably for the best. I already have any number of ideas that could be applied, anyway.
mocks: (workin' the ponytail)

[personal profile] mocks 2013-02-05 05:54 am (UTC)(link)
That's good ol' Hank McCoy for you. Always with about a gazillion ideas in that brain of his.
professorlionface: (Genius may overrule humility at times.)

[personal profile] professorlionface 2013-02-07 08:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, with a bit of tweaking, the formula could be made to strengthen the affected follicles' resistance to DHT, which would reduce, and maybe eventually reverse the process of balding! Who wouldn't want that?

An accelerated anagen phase is a small price to pay, and often not undesirable itself.
mocks: (Default)

[personal profile] mocks 2013-02-08 05:15 am (UTC)(link)
You got this all figured out. I'm impressed.
professorlionface: (I'll explain this slowly.)

[personal profile] professorlionface 2013-02-09 05:48 am (UTC)(link)
Well, at least in theory. That variant of the stimulant is still in formula.