eight □ video. joint.

[ex_engineers208]

[ The video opens on a sub-basement laboratory of the Xavier Institute. There stands who else but...Sydney Greenstreet? He gives the audience a small, knowing smile as he stands there in his rotundity in a black suit, holding a cigar. ]

Mm hmm hmm. I distrust a man whose trust for other men is determined more by his trusts than his distrusts. There is no trust without discretion, and in that scrutiny we develop the distrusts that determine our interactions with the world at large. I do like a man who tells you upfront that he distrusts you, saves the time of founding a trust that only disguises the true distrust present.

[ Once he's done he gives his audience a very stern look that holds for all of five seconds before it starts to crack, erupting into a hearty laugh. When he continues, his voice is different, now a rich, purring baritone that may sound familiar. ]

I'd like to present to you the X-Club's latest invention, a new take on an old classic... [ He fusses with something on his wrist, and his black suit turns with with a small red fez on his head that's more Casablanca than Maltese Falcon, until finally the illusion dissipates to reveal the slightly hunched form of Hank McCoy. ] ...the image inducer!

[ Hank straightens himself to his proper height, and the camera pans out to accommodate, now including Madison Jeffries in the picture to his left. ] This baby brings back memories. It works by projecting a hologram over its wearer, allowing them to appear however they like, and voice modulation to complete the disguise. Back in the day, those of us whose mutations were more visibly apparent used to use these to facilitate our free movement through society. These days, it doesn't really come up as often.

[ Madison cuts in, fiddling with something behind his back -- his hair looking a little off, pulled away from his face. ]

We still reckon it’s a highly utilitarian tool that might come in handy for imPortkind, if we iron out the kinks. Uh. We got a handful of secondary and tertiary projects bein’ worked on; most a’ them are distraction-like. "Distraction-like" only in that we have other primary projects, but they all have their applications. No matter how seemingly frivolous.

Actually! [ Hank nudges Madison with his elbow with an excited grin. ] Why don't we show them that other one we finished yesterday?

Aaah. [ For a second, Madison looks rather uncomfortable -- mortified, mostly. ] We don’t gotta show them everythin’. [ Hank spreads his arms, his smile growing wider. ] Ohhh, none of that now! There's no need to be shy.

[ Madison throws him a mildly despairing look, then reaches behind his head to pull off what appears to be a rubber band; his hair falling down in a rather luxurious, white-streaked wave. Hank beams. ]

He’s buyin’ me a haircut later. Entirely worth it. [ Madison sighs, blowing a loose strand away from his face. Vaguely, with a wave: ] It’s a, uh. Hair thing. T’sall. Enzymatic overdrive a’ follicular cells, yadda yadda. Whatever. Guaranteed to give you hair like Ka-Zar overnight! [ Hank says it with a wink. ]

Anyhoo, we’re on the tail end a’ publishin’ the results a’ the headline project, but if y’wanna donate a hint a’ tissue for the sciences... it’d be much obliged, yeah? There were some concerns last time it came up that I wasn't... [ In the mood to deal with. ] ...available to answer, that we'd like to be more upfront with now. What we're looking for for is proof of physiological connections between imPorts that are absent in the native populace, so obviously we'll need a reasonably sized sampling pool of imPort volunteers.

So, y’know, with that lil’ hint a’ clarity -- please? We got cash, alright?

[ They both give big, slightly desperate smiles for the camera before the feed cuts. ]

red is madison, blue is hank

Comments

[professorlionface]

I've done better! This is just us having some fun.

[boozebot]

Heh. Nerds.

[professorlionface]

We wear the title with pride! In fact, [He shouts over his shoulder.] Madison! We're changing the group name. It's the X-Nerds now!

[boozebot]

If you were really having fun, it would be something fun and entertaining. Like a doomsday device, or a taffy maker!

[professorlionface]

Taffy makers are child's play! What isn't fun or entertaining about these?

You clearly haven't considered the pranking potential of the hair stimulant! I almost wish the Professor were here so I could show him firsthand.

[boozebot]

Please. Those pranks ran out of style when hair-in-a-can was invented, and then ran out of even more style when haircut-in-a-can was invented two years afterwards.

[professorlionface]

Just how far in the future were you from again?

[boozebot]

31st century. In other words, a better one.

[professorlionface]

Well, there you have it. We still have a thousand years to get that far along, so you're bound to see the process as it begins to develop from here to there.

Unless you have enough knowledge of technology from your time that you'd care to contribute, of course. [Prime Directive! Prime Directive! Prime Directive!] ...Though it would probably be best if you didn't.

[boozebot]

I might be able to remember a few things. Unfortunately, I have a small pay wall on some of that information... [COUGH]

[professorlionface]

Oh well, I suppose we'll just have to figure them out on our own, then!

[boozebot]

[Losing... attention...]

Wait, wait! Maybe it could be unlocked with something else!

[professorlionface]

Ah! Well, what did you have in mind? A screwdriver, perhaps? I have plenty of those!

[boozebot]

...Is it a valuable screwdriver?

[professorlionface]

It's a phillips head.

[boozebot]

Is that valuable?

[professorlionface]

It's incredibly useful, so yes, we'll say it is.

[boozebot]

Well, okay. But it better not be just valuable in the sentimental sense! That's how I got duped into buying all of those urns.

[professorlionface]

I'll leave that for you to decide. So, will I need to do this unlocking manually?

[boozebot]

Just tell me what you want to know.

[professorlionface]

Why don't we start with what you feel like sharing? Only you know what technical knowledge you may have acquired.

[boozebot]

Okay.

[He takes his time to think.]

Wanna know how to stop global warming?

[professorlionface]

Sure! What have you got?

[boozebot]

Big ol' icecube!

[He's not lying.]

[professorlionface]

[Hank just stares at him for a few moments.

Okay, so what was he expecting when he's only paying with a screwdriver?]

And how does that work?