capeandcowl | fifth arrow ➶ [voice + text]

People use this thing for questions, right?

Alright, well, I got a doozy for you. A few weeks ago, I started getting email on my personal account. Not the one I use for the magazine, I get junk on there all the time sent to me just because it gets published every month. Nope, this was all on my actual email. [He pauses for emphasis] Now I probably don't check that as much as I oughta, but I'm still unconvinced as to why people can't just pick up the goddamn phone if they want at me so bad. Anyway, after... A week, I guess, I get a series of emails that read kind of like this:

-- Actually, you know what, I'm just gonna attach it.

[Ollie pauses and presses a few buttons. Magically, there appears a text file.]

Hi Oliviar~~!! Luved ur profile hahahahaha!!!! Let me tell u abot myslef! Im a single mother of two, divorced (THANK GOODNESS LOL! ;D) I'm 5'1 (tiny + curvaceous) with blonde hairs and green eyes. my friend all tell me I look like a mix between Meg Ryan and Ann Bancroft, so picture that if you will lmao ;)

Now I make it a personal policy not to judge, but I gotta say I'm confused. At first I figured my email got hacked, but that's what happens when it sends stuff, not receives it. After that, I did some hunting around on the google.

So, herein is my question. How do I find the asshole who signed me up for Alrighty Aphrodite and put him outta his misery?

((ooc: I'm still getting notifs at either really bizarre times or not at all. I'm going to try and refresh this post as much as possible while I'm around my computer, but if you feel I'm neglecting something, feel free to ping me on plurk. I'm sorry for the weirdness. :( ))