capeandcowl | joint post / video

[Hi, network. The last time you saw these two was right before they shrunk a number of you.

Only being as much of a sociopath as the average three year old, and having a much better understanding of consequences, Val realizes they have to apologize. And that it has to sound sincere. Fortunately, she's a great liar.

Calvin's on his own.]

Hi, everyone. According to my calculations, the Pym particle effects should have entirely worn off by now. As far as I know, no one was seriously injuried.

[Injuries to pride, dignity, and relationship status don't count.]

Yeah, and I'm sure everybody's really glad about that. I for one have spent enough time running away from ants to last my whole life!

[Calvin looks just thrilled about the whole adventure. He's standing next to Val, wearing his ordinary red shirt now instead of that ridiculous lab coat.]

Anyway, as the head visionary of this project and the original genius behind the experiment, I feel I ought to apologize to everyone...

[Calvin's not a great liar. He's actually a terrible liar. Fortunately, he has other talents, like deflecting responsibility. He points at Valeria and starts yelling.]

...for letting this absolute chowderhead anywhere near my inventions!

[Having had the deluxe-package Calvin Experience over the last few days, Val is prepared for something like this, but her exasperation is genuine, because you climbed on the laser, Calvin, and she puffs out an annoyed sigh.]

I do accept responsibility for letting an unqualified observer like Calvin into the lab. I should have seen something like what happened coming a mile away. I'm really sorry to everyone I inconvenienced, and I won't be "collaborating" [the sarcasm quotes on that would be audible in a vacuum] with him anymore.

[You know, when Tony lets her back in one of his labs sometime a decade from now.

Aside from the swipes at Calvin, which come paired with with a truly masterful bit of sideeying, it's an Oscar-worthy performance--she practices seeming contrite on Susan Richards, after all. And she does feel a little chastened. Having an experiment go this badly wrong is beneath her.

Calvin nods along, still pointing the finger of accusation.]

That's right, you won't be, because you are fired. You're the worst assistant I've ever had, and my last one was a ferocious jungle cat!

[Long story.]

You heard her, she accepts responsibility for everything being her fault. So that settles it!

[He turns to Val.]

You can get pelted with refuse by the angry mob, and I'll just take my new shrink ray back home and keep perfecting it, without you messing things up.

[Val looks at him for a second in disbelief. Does he not realize she actually just blamed it all on him? Wait, dumb question.]

Yeah, okay.

[Suddenly, Calvin goes sliding out of his seat and onto the floor with a thump as she pushes him out of the frame with an invisible force field. Val reaches forward and the video ends.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

People seldom function on logic and analysis alone. Social sciences might help you see that.

[Or, you know, you could just exist with them you weirdos.]

Have you ever looked into the humanities?

I read the Foundation novels.

[That's a big "no," then.]

Perhaps you should be grounded to only focusing on them for a while. Art, music and the like. It's not traditional, but I think a little broadening of your horizons might be good for you.

[THIS IDEA IS TERRIBLE AND HE SHOULD FEEL TERRIBLE. Good thing Pietro can't see that eye twitch. ]

'Cause being forced to look at paintings will obviously make me love it. It worked so well with shrimp.

[She hates the texture, okay.

Realistically speaking, she'll just go intellectually cat-on-a-leash limp and do math in her head.]

[This idea is glorious, you mean.]

I'm sure you can at least appreciate the skill involved in a proper painting. Have you ever tried to draw something using perspectives? It's quite the challenge.

[Why is she so determined to have an awful time?]

[Almost entirely because it's being framed as a punishment. She's three and as stubborn as Sue.]

I can appreciate it from right here.

[She canonically draws like a normal toddler despite the fact she has enough fine motor control to type and build her own lightsaber. Comics!]

[Being three is no excuse. Valeria, pls.]

I think that's a rather small minded point of view.

[If you can call what Pietro does thinking.

Val has enough self-control not to say that part, though if Pietro were a telepath, it would be hard to miss.]

I don't see what a high-resolution image file can't convey, especially since you can composite a multi-spectral image that shows things like the original sketchwork and changes the painter made.

[Naturally that kind of highly technical forensics is the only thing Val knows about art.]

[There's a pitying sigh. How little she understands of art.]

That sounds fascinating, but it also sounds as though you would be losing the intended product of the artist. And the gravity and sentimentality of seeing an important work in person cannot be underestimated.

Would you rather study schematics of... The first American space shuttle, for example, or would you rather visit the real thing?

[No hesitation at all:]

Schematics. They're way more informative.

[Val is not sentimental.]

...I mean, if I cared. All of Dad's spacecraft are better than that design-by-committee piece of junk.

[Really, really not sentimental.]

How academic of you.

[Oh my god she's evil. Evil.]

[Only one person in this conversation has been a member of the Brotherhood, pal.]

I'm a scientist.

[There's a fine line between terrorists and revolutionaries.]

You're a toddler.

So?

[Don't be ageist, Pietro.]

[He opens his mouth to say something but stops short. Don't be mean to the child, Pietro.]

You're probably very good at playing dress up. Luna used to love costumes as well, when she was your age.

[Val likes Luna just fine, and in fact regards her as a cousin, but Luna has a normal level of intelligence for an Inhuman. There's no comparison.]

Does my unstable molecule Future Foundation uniform count?

How likely is it that a Princess would wear a Future Foundation uniform? My ex-wife is not a relevant positive example, so that we're clear.

Well of course your hypothetical is going to favor you if you start out by excluding an example that disproves it on its face.

[Gawd, Pietro.]

...Mom's the queen of Old Atlantis and she designed them.

[SO THERE. He's also free to think that means Sue left Reed for Namor, though Old Atlantis is in fact a separate place.]

[Hrm. Well, that's different.]

She was always far more sensible than your father. I will admit to that.

[Val is a total Daddy's girl and even she can't deny that.]

Mom's more sensible than everyone.

[Sue bothers Pietro the least, even if she does have unfortunate relatives.]

She does seem to be the exception to the rule in your family.

[...Yeah, no, she can't deny that.]

Uncle Ben's not too bad.

[He's only bad looking.]

Comparatively, I suppose not.

joint post / video

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