capeandcowl | Eighteenth Scuttle

[The camera turns on! It's Zoidberg's warehouse! He is sitting on his secondhand sofa alongside Aziraphale, who is sipping on a lovely cup of tea. Zoidberg has a dour expression on his tentacle-y face. Aziraphale is looking equally concerned.]

Friends and associates! Gather 'round and listen well! It is I, Zoidberg, with a dire warning for us all! I've been using my rowbutt-woman-given powers to investigate some suspicious individuals on the Network and I've successfully identified nineteen Skrulls in our midst! I am prepared to name names! Are you prepared to take action against these impostors?!

[He stands up, pulling a list of names from his lab coat pocket, then he clears his throat.]

Spider-Woman! You are a Skrull! As are you, Hikaru Sulu! Dick Grayson, Nepeta Leijon, and Cassie Holmes, Skrulls all! Goku! Harry Potter! Rachel! Ziggy Stardust! Nymphadora Tonks! Loki! Rapunzel! Lust! All devious shapeshifting aliens! Doctor Doom and Bullseye, too!

[He suddenly looks very somber.]

And two of my dearest companions have been deceiving us all this time! Parker Robbins and Calvin! Oh! How could you break my heart like this?!

[Zoidberg stifles a sob.]

And let it also be known that the one known as Bee-Pug is also a Skrull.

[Aziraphale has looked mildly concerned throughout all of this, and a moment after Zoidberg is done speaking, he appears thoughtful as he momentarily inventories the accused.]

Oh, I'm afraid that is only eighteen...

[A sinister look flashes across Zoidberg's face.]

Oh? Was it, Aziraphale? Was it?!

[He scuttles toward Aziraphale, lunging toward him with his claws in attack-postion-alpha! And suddenly: Aziraphale's arm has been cut clean off! The teacup he was holding flies through the air and there is some horrified hissing and screaming before Zoidberg turns back to the communicator and shuts it off.]

((ooc: Black is Zoidberg, blue is Aziraphale.))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

:33 < i am not a skrull!!
:33 < what is a skrull >:((
:33 < ...
:33 < human arms dont even grow back do they??

Humans are complex and baffling creatures.

That is to say... possibly?

:33 < ...
:33 < :OO??
:33 < i havent heard any humans say it before
:33 < im not sure they do

That's all speculation. What truly matters here is that you are not what you seem!

:33 < i am too what i s33m!
:33 < im an alien but im not a skrull
:33 < i dont even know what a skrull is >:((
:33 < and you cant take off my arm!!

It's not your arm they will be after, Nepeta. It is you!

:33 < >:OO
:33 < they can try to take me and s33 what happens to them then!
:33 < i cant believe you would do this to me
:33 < i thought we could have b33n furiends :((

I thought so too, Nepeta. I wanted very much for us to be friends. But the rowbutt-woman entrusted me with these sacred powers. It's my civic duty to put them to good use.

:33 < well i think your powers are wrong!!

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crabulous - 2012-02-19 08:30 (UTC) - Expand

catnips - 2012-02-19 09:35 (UTC) - Expand

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They don't! A human could bleed to death from the severing of an artery! [ so scandalized ]

:33 < then why would you cut it off?
:33 < >:((

Well, I hardly had any say in it...

:33 < but youre not dead
:33 < so youre not a human
:33 < ...
:33 < are YOU one of these skrulls?!

Oh, no, of course not! I'm an angel; it is hardly similar at all.

:33 < youre a what
:33 < what is that
:33 < exactly

[ Oh, right. Aliens. ]

Well, I am a-- hm-- an ethereal being. An agent of Heaven.

:33 < an agent of what
:33 < whats heaven
:33 < :??
:33 < is this a human thing

plaidtweed - 2012-02-22 08:12 (UTC) - Expand

catnips - 2012-02-22 09:32 (UTC) - Expand

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catnips - 2012-02-25 07:05 (UTC) - Expand

Nepeta What Is The Meaning Of All OF This
Why Would The Doctor Make This Claim Regarding Your Person

[ someone has been entirely too wrapped up in drama to keep up on skrull things ]

:33 < i dont know but hes wrong!!
:33 < you know that dont you kanaya? :((
:33 < im not a skrull
:33 < i dont even know what a skrull is :((

Im Not Especially Familiar With The Matter At Present
And So Not Having A Strong Familiarity With Skrulls I Feel Apprehensive About Saying No You Are Doubtlessly Not A Skrull Nepeta
But Given The Negative Connotation The Term Seems To Carry I Dont Believe I Care For The Implication Either Way

Edited 2012-02-22 09:39 (UTC)

:33 < thats a lot of words for telling me that you think im a skrull too
:33 < :((
:33 < thats fine then
:33 < i can purrotect myself

Nepeta No Thats The Very Opposite Sentiment From What I Meant To Convey
While Yes I May Not Have Information With Which To Declare It Certainly
I By No Means Believe This Accusation And I Worry What Result It Will Bring For You

:33 < oh!
:33 < im sorry
:33 < im just furry distressed :((

And Understandably So Given These Circumstances
It May Be Necessary To Take Certain Measures For Your Protection

:33 < what sort of measures?
:33 < :??
:33 < im still in the house right now!
:33 < and im able to purrotect myself i think

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