035 → Video

[viced]

Good afternoon, imports. [ Oh hey, it's the mayor dressed back in a suit, and looking about as professional as usual. He has a grim smile on his face, and the comm is obviously placed on his mayoral desk, Mitchell on the other side. ]

I know it's been a very interesting two weeks, and I'm very sorry for my lack of presence. Unfortunately, it seems I'm just as human as anyone else, and found myself out of comission. I'm happy to say that as of today, I'm back in the Mayor's seat, and I'm proud of the way the City administration came together in a time when things weren't so certain. Each of the members of City Hall were exemplary during the past few weeks, and I think we can all agree that it's a godsend that I have so many talented and brilliant people here in City Hall.

[ He shuffles then, and looks down at his papers. ]

And while I know it's April Fools, there's something serious I need to address. Recently information came out about the police force. I'm disheartened to say that the force acted outside of the law in response to certain crises, and while I have always supported the police force, and hoped that they would always act with decorum, we're making sure that a full investigation is acted out over the next few weeks. Nobody should fear the cops, and I hope that most in the city will agree with me that the charges of torture are inexcusable. If they prove true, we will begin a closer look at the force, and begin implementing measures to ensure that there's greater oversight for not just the members of the police force, but also for the good of the City itself.

If anyone does have any information, I urge them to speak up about it. Any information can bring a speedy conclusion to this problem, and we can get the right people to the police force.

[ He pauses, still grim, before starting to reach out to the grab the comm, but there's a shift, and while reached out, Mitchell isn't in his suit anymore, he's in a really goofy getup. Helmet, jetpack, and all. He stops, looking at his hand, mouth opening, before: ]

Motherfu--

COMMUNICATOR, OFF.

Comments

[viced]

[ GEE ERIDAN YOU'RE THE MOST SUBTLE ]

No, I wasn't. I believe the press releases said everything that was necessary.

[amoray]

i dont keep up wwith politics
you knoww unless a certain guardian a mine is runnin the towwn in wwhich case he wwont stop fuckin rubbin it in evverybodys gills
still i find your human political maneuvverins to be limp-finned and disappointin





so is the eatin babies thing true or wwhat

[viced]

[ He actually. Laughs. ]

Really? No, I don't eat fucking babies. That just sounds nasty.

[amoray]

i dont knoww about human young but grubpaste wwasnt half fuckin bad ok
and you nevver knoww wwhat your sort get up to in their free time its not like anybodys controllin wwhat you do except ed

[viced]

Grubpaste? Oh don't make me sick. Believe me, if I had free time, it would go toward something other than my culinary habits.

[amoray]

wwell it wwas mostly the failed young a my race that wwerent wworth a fuck anywway so you knoww no great loss there
are you discrminatin against my culture
howw unsavvory

[viced]

I'm just saying, the word grub doesn't lend itself well to making it sound appetizing!

[amoray]

but you got no problem wwith somebody eatin the young a their owwn race
thats cannibalism
i cannot fuckin believve you

[THERE IS LITERALLY NO WAY TO WIN.]

encrypted.

[viced]

[ JESUS CHRIST ]

And I'm sure Edward would love it if you sabotaged his position. Which is what would happen if you keep going down this road.

encrypted.

[amoray]

i can flap my gills all i fuckin wwant about wwipin my owwn race off the face a fuckin paradox space and nobody cares
you think anybodys goin to take anythin i call you seriously

encrypted.

[viced]

Mmm. [ He'd say he thinks people are stupid enough, but he does not trust Eridan at all ever. ]

Maybe you're right.

encrypted.

[amoray]

i knoww im right
and so do you
im unfuckintouchable

encrypted.

[viced]

[ He disagrees, but he knows better than to say that. ]

Right.

I just think that maybe you shouldn't be so forward with your intentions. You're practically transparent.

encrypted.

[amoray]

far as anybody else knowws i just dont fuckin like you
wwhich honestly i got nothin against you all personal-like mitch i just think that bendin ovver backwwards for these bottomfeeders routine a yours is ruinin your grasp on powwer is all
and kinda pathetic but thats an aside
still maybe im just givvin ed a hard time by givvin you one
maybe hangin around quen is givvin me FITFUL FUCKIN DREAMS a teenage rebellion or wwhatever your human adolescents do
maybe im bored
wwho evven KNOWWS wwith someone all fuckin mysterious like myself

anywway wwhats anybody goin to do really
ivve got awwful powwerful friends and im not talkin about ed

[futureleader]

Completely and one hundred percent true.

I checked.

[amoray]

wwouldnt doubt it
you knoww their type
POLITICIANS
basically evvery one i evver kneww wwas up to their fuckin nook in SOMETHIN unsavvory its just howw they operate

[futureleader]

Gonna add it to the smear campaign.

It's fucking golden, I tell you.

[amoray]

so wwhat do you havve so far
you can add discrimination and bein tolerant a cannibalism to that list by the wway

[futureleader]

Oh tons of stuff. But, I think our glittery Mayor will get upset if I mention them in public.

[amoray]

wwhat a shame
you gotta tell me later wwhen im done wwith my fuckin chit stuff

[futureleader]

Chit? What kind of person names something chit? It rhymes with shit.

[amoray]

im not entirely sure he didnt name it himself just to fuck wwith me honestly

[futureleader]

...tell him you're not going to take his chit.

[amoray]

he doesnt think chit jokes are real clevver
meanin he doesnt fuckin listen
see delivvery is evverythin wwith ed
if youre sayin the most fuckin sensical hoofbeast shit in the UNIVVERSE he wwont care if he doesnt think its bein said real smart
in fact he probably wwont pay much attention either
but tell him somethin in a upright god damn genius kinda manner and hell at least take the time to criticize the shit outta your delivvery


wwhich you knoww is a start

[futureleader]

Well, he's a dumbass with his head shoved so far up his ass, he can't see anything for what it really is.