[text]

[onmyneck]

It's disappointing that the future has yet to give up on some of the barbaric, uncivilized customs of the past. The high school prom, for instance.

And with prom season coming up on this summer's social calendar, I'm spoiled for choice on which of my many outfits I should wear. I do have my signature style of staying at home and watching a marathon of Ice Road Truckers, but I wouldn't want to show anyone up. Adolescence is a tricky time.

In case some of the older members of this network feel left out, feel free to tell us about your experiences at prom. The most awkward story wins a t-shirt.

Comments

[glowsferatu]

Id Ask If Theyre At Least Complementary But I Just Know Youll Answer In The Negative

[onmyneck]

That depends. Are orange and yellow complementary?

[glowsferatu]

If You Inquire Whether They Blend Then Yes
But The Fact That They Overwhelm Everything Surrounding Them Qualifies It As A Mere Technicality
By Which I Mean No They Arent

[onmyneck]

Good. I want to stand out.

[glowsferatu]

This Is Beyond Standing Out
You Wish To Become A Traffic Cone

[onmyneck]

I've always had a talent for diverting traffic.

[glowsferatu]

Perhaps We Should Set You In The Midst Of The Automotive Pathways As A Test
You Are Successful If Every Passing Vehicular Transport Decides That You Should Be Avoided Rather Than Collided With
It Is The Only Purpose Such An Outfit Could Serve

[onmyneck]

I'm sure I can stand on a cliffside and prevent ships from crashing.

[glowsferatu]

Doubtful
Glaring As The Outfit May Be I Suspect Any Individual I Meet On This Network Would Be Far Too Diminutive To Fall Within Their Notice At A Navigable Distance
Now If You Were Suspended By The Shoulders Or Neck And Given A Train Of An Obscene Length
With Perhaps A Spotlight Displaying The Reflective Properties Of Your Garment
Then We May Have Something Workable

[onmyneck]

Thank goodness you spent the time thinking of how to solve that dilemma.

[glowsferatu]

Simply Imagine How Lost You Would Otherwise Be

[onmyneck]

And that's when my road map shoes come in handy.

[glowsferatu]

I May Have Begun To Appreciate The Brilliance In The Design Now
The Obnoxious Colors Will Certainly Announce Your Presence To Oncoming Traffic Should You Need To Bend Down To Consult Your Footwear While You Have Yet To Complete A Crossing Of The Road

[onmyneck]

I'm hoping to make this city the fashion capital of the world.

[glowsferatu]

And You Have So Clearly Set Upon That Avenue Already
The Collisions Of Those Swerving To Avoid Killing You Left In Your Wake Are Simply The Cost Of Such An Endeavor
You Cant Progress In This Business Without Some Quantity Of Blood On The Runway

[onmyneck]

True beauty requires sacrifice.

[glowsferatu]

And Here They Had Always Fooled Us Into Believing It Would Be Our Own

[onmyneck]

Fashion leaders are the new world dictators, after all.

[glowsferatu]

Alright Thats Going A Little Too Far To Even Be Said In A Jocular Manner

[onmyneck]

I know the truth. Wake up, sheeple.

[glowsferatu]

What Did You Just Call Me

[onmyneck]

Harsh words for a harsh world.

[glowsferatu]

What Does It Even Mean

[onmyneck]

A strong minded individual.

[glowsferatu]

Hardly Descriptive Of A Harsh Word For A Harsh World