permavid; only registered name on the comm is "spider-man"

[remake]

[ The video is up-side down. It's hard to tell, because the guy in the video is also up-side down, sticking to the shiny, windowed side of an office building by his hand and feet. He looks distinctly spider-man themed, but the design is different and so is the voice. He sounds awful young. ]

Okay. Okay. I'm not freaking out but- [ A pause for some quick, audibly shallow breaths. ] -uh. I might be freaking out? Uh. There's- there's someone else living where my house is supposed to be which is really not cool, and I can't figure out what happened to the Triskelion. I'd like to help y'all out but.

If I had- uh, I don't know, directions maybe I could... knock on the door and get you some r-real- some better heroes. I kind of know Nick Fury? Sort of.

And it sounds like you need that. I-I mean, I can stop muggers and stuff, and I guess like The Ringer and Kangaroo (I'm so not making that up, there's a dude that calls himself "Kangaroo"), but this whole-- this whole alternate dimension thing is way over my head and-

[ Hitched breathing. ] And I'm still... working on it.

Comments

[remake]

Well- it was Spider-Woman, actually. Who said.

[elongates]

Oh, wonderful. She's suddenly your employer.

If I named myself [ disgruntled gesture ] Fantastispider and told you to jump off a cliff, would you do it?

[remake]

Well, I do kind of jump off skyscrapers all the time... [ oh right that's so not the point ] I-I just don't want her to kick me in the head again.

[webline]

Oh my god.

[remake]

[ LMFAO CRINGE ] Uh.

[webline]

Really? Really?

[remake]

Well I don't!

[webline]

Are you just trying not to listen to me?

[remake]

Um-- no? It just happened?

[webline]

It seriously seems like you're trying not to listen to me.

And you kind of deserved it, by the way.

[remake]

[ WOW JESS ]

I was just trying to help people!

[webline]

It was in bad taste.

[remake]

I- I- I didn't mean to make anyone angry, I was trying to honor his- his legacy or whatever.

[webline]

[ uuugh she legit has nothing to say to that because she gets it ]

I know, kid. It's too late now, anyways.

[elongates]

She can't tell you what to do. You're your own boy.

[ long. pause. ]

Sorry. Man.

[remake]

[ s-staring ] I-- I don't know what happened.

But she's on the Ultimates and stuff.

[elongates]

[ ffffuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK ]

They'll really take anyone these days, huh?

[remake]

I guess. Why do you guys hate each other?

[elongates]

I don't hate her. Does it look like I hate her?

[remake]

Uh-- yeah. A lot.

[elongates]

I don't hate people. Enlightened people don't hate people.

Seriously, take my advice: Don't hate.

[remake]

[ rofl yeah it takes miles a second to process that
REED RICHARDS WHY ]

I'll... try?

[elongates]

Also.

Don't be in the same square mile as the Hulk. I think that's a lesson better taught than learned.

[remake]

He- he said he was from a different Universe. That he wasn't going to do the things the re- er, the o-other Bruce Banner... did.

gently threadjacks???

[hulk]

...Uh. Excuse me.