voice;

[amoray]

[he doesn't start speaking right as the feed starts! there's a solid second or two of eridan trying to find his train of thought, the occasional heavy, expectant breath or two the only signs of his false starts.]

Well, Mexico was a shipload a fun. Don't know about anybody else's impromptu as fuck abscondin'.

Not my point of makin' this point though, so listen up, landlubbers.

[there is a decided lack of flair in eridan's voice, despite the (sharp, direct) pun/nautical reference or two. he's purposeful.]

They say they're cuttin' me loose soon, probably on account a my bein' such a charminly well-behawed prisoner and all. Due to personal circumstances, I'll be needin' to get a few affairs in order before my date a release.

I need a place to liwe, a tutor for the upcomin' schoolfeedin' year, and hopefully enough, some manner a profession. If you're willin' to hire a sewen solar sweep year old like myself, a course, don't want to go about misleadin' folk. Lyin' to 'em. Suchlike.

[a stale beat.]

No nosy hiwemates. Roommates, whatewer. I don't fuckin' like most a you and I probably won't giwe a shit about your problems, so keep your cartilage nubs outta mine. I got more than enough beetles in my coffers to keep me afloat for a while, so rent ain't gonna be an issue. Probably.

[a beat. he sounds like he means to say something dramatic or heartfelt to top off his posts like usual, and then:]

Preferably cat friendly. But I'm flexible.

Comments

[amoray]

sure my main fantastical fuckin brother wwhatevver youre all up at motherfuckin makin the wwicked noise about bro

[FEELING A FLEETING MOMENT OF SATISFACTION]

voice

[viced]

You know, that doesn't sound anything like Mr. Mayor. It's good to know that the system worked for you, though. [ He doesn't mean it, but he sounds like he means it. ]

[crab]

SHUT UP AND BUTT OUT OF THIS PRINCE OF I HAVE INTIMATE KNOWLEDGE OF WHAT HUMAN GENITALIA LOOKS LIKE FOR SOME REASON.

[amoray]

medical textbooks from wwhen i wwas studyin for bein a fuckin human schoolfeedin prodigy
duh
you knoww not evverythins about quadrants and pails you need a fuckin hobby or somethin

[amoray]

i think SPLATTERED is a strong term
it wwas more like sloughed

[caprihorn]

WHAT HAS SHIT BLOOD AND IS ABOUT TO BE THROWN INTO A JUGGALO PARTY THAT HE CAN'T GET AWAY AT FROM?
hint: he help vveering away from what real noise is.

[amoray]

trick question the answwer is karkat vvantas and the shitty inescapable juggalo party is evvery day a your moirallegiance

voice

[amoray]

Cut the shit. Eddie told me about the two a you.

But hey! I'm nothin' if not fuckin' thrilled. You two deserwe each other. Real couple a soulmates you are.

[caprihorn]

YOU FUCKING BROUGHT IT UP.
besides this shit is gonna pretty much happen for everyone.
WHO AIN'T ERIDAN AT LEAST.
don't see what's wrong knowing that.

[caprihorn]

LEAST I GOT A MOIRAIL TO HAVE A PARTY WITH.
nothing you could ever have.
AND I STILL AIN'T A JUGGALO.

[amoray]

he wwas holdin me back anywway wwho cares about him
and arent you still doin that bullshit juggalo religion thing or did you stop that i dont keep up wwith shit thats beneath me unless i absolutely got to

wow no now i get to apologize god

[amoray]

piss off right back to your shithivve murder carnivval you wwould of been HAPPY to get me off like six fuckin months ago
anywway its not like youre evver goin to get a kismesis again so dont wworry about it

[crab]

[ LITERALLY SCREAMING OFF-COM ]

SAYS THE DOUCHEBAG WHO CAN'T LET A THROWAWAY COMMENT ABOUT BULGES AND THEIR POSSIBLE YANKING GO MONTHS AFTER THE FACT.
SAYS THE DOUCHEBAG WHO CAN'T TAKE AN INFLAMMATORY WORD DIRECTED HIS WAY WITHOUT ASKING IF THEY'RE VYING FOR THEIR BLACK QUADRANT.
IF THIS ISN'T THE CYLINDRICAL FOOD INCUBATOR CALLING THE WATER HEATING APPARATUS OBSIDIAN I DON'T KNOW *WHAT* IS.

voice

[viced]

Er. What?

[ A horrified pause. This isn't what he needs right now, gosh!! ]

I think you're misconstruing our professional relationship, Eridan.

voice

[amoray]

He all but fuckin' stated the two a you were moirails. Defined it and ewerythin'.

And as much of a fuckin' globe-garglin' waste a space as he is, he wouldn't lie about that kinda thing.

This is much worse so I'm not sure you do

[caprihorn]

YEAH, BEFORE I GOT TO KNOW YOU WOULDN'T STICK AROUND FOR MY OWNSELF.
but hey i would have gotten my disappointment on during shit if we ever got at that.
YOU COULDN'T BE FUN IN MOTHERFUCKIN ANYTHING, ERI.
and i don't know think terezi's still interested.
WHO THE MOTHERFUCK HAVE YOU GOT?

[caprihorn]

from what?
TEXTING MY MOIRAIL WHILE DRUNKER THAN SHIT?
and why do you all bother asking if you don't care?

oh wait no, an added thing

[caprihorn]

and karkat don't count.
YOU COULDN'T ACTUALLY GET HIM INTO A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF IF YOU TRIED.

[amoray]

wwhy wwould i wwant to hes basically livvin refuse

[amoray]

wwoww kar wway to run your fuckin mouth
not that i got anythin to be ashamed of a course but still some fuckin discretion wwould be nice
anywway i hear they got twwo mirthful as fuck figureheads of a mythical cult around here so if youre still into that fakey fake fake fiction id go seek em out
think a it as like a pilgrimage except instead a findin enlightenment youre just bein fuckin stupid

screaming and crying tbh

[amoray]

oh you italicized i feel so fuckin special
and eff wwhy aye ivve got evvery quadrant filled EXCEPT for kismesis so you got no fuckin room to run your blister since evverybodys too fuckin shithivve terrified a you to evven consider anythin

[crab]

[ wow this is

getting pretty distressing is there less air in here all of a sudden ]

I'M NOT DOING THIS WITH YOU AGAIN.
I'M NOT GOING TO BETRAY MY MOIRAIL'S TRUST JUST TO SETTLE A SCORE WITH YOUR WORTHLESS HIDE.
I'M BETTER THAN THAT.
I'M BETTER THAN YOU.

[caprihorn]

got better blood than your ex.
BETTER STANDING THAN YOURSELF.
better future, too.
NOT SURE WHY THE POND SCUM THINKS IT'S IN A GOOD ENOUGH SITUATION TO UP AND CALL A BROTHER REFUSE.
especially when it ain't even royalty itself.

voice

[viced]

Unfortunately, I'm not quite sure what that particular term quite means, other than the little bit I've managed to glean over the network.

[ He sounds a little satisfied when he starts back up. ] I'll have to defer to his wisdom on this subject.

[crab]

MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP HITTING ON ME ALL THE TIME THEN.
IT'S GETTING GOD DAMN UNCOMFORTABLE.