voice;

[amoray]

[he doesn't start speaking right as the feed starts! there's a solid second or two of eridan trying to find his train of thought, the occasional heavy, expectant breath or two the only signs of his false starts.]

Well, Mexico was a shipload a fun. Don't know about anybody else's impromptu as fuck abscondin'.

Not my point of makin' this point though, so listen up, landlubbers.

[there is a decided lack of flair in eridan's voice, despite the (sharp, direct) pun/nautical reference or two. he's purposeful.]

They say they're cuttin' me loose soon, probably on account a my bein' such a charminly well-behawed prisoner and all. Due to personal circumstances, I'll be needin' to get a few affairs in order before my date a release.

I need a place to liwe, a tutor for the upcomin' schoolfeedin' year, and hopefully enough, some manner a profession. If you're willin' to hire a sewen solar sweep year old like myself, a course, don't want to go about misleadin' folk. Lyin' to 'em. Suchlike.

[a stale beat.]

No nosy hiwemates. Roommates, whatewer. I don't fuckin' like most a you and I probably won't giwe a shit about your problems, so keep your cartilage nubs outta mine. I got more than enough beetles in my coffers to keep me afloat for a while, so rent ain't gonna be an issue. Probably.

[a beat. he sounds like he means to say something dramatic or heartfelt to top off his posts like usual, and then:]

Preferably cat friendly. But I'm flexible.

Comments

IM CRYING i apologize to kirsten for doing this in her post

[crab]

LKJHBKJLDFHVJH
I DON'T
WANT
TO
KNOW
OH MY GOD.
THE AMOUNT OF DESIRE I HAVE TO HEAR ABOUT HOW ONE DAY YOU WILL ANGRILY GET IT OFF WITH SOMEONE IS SO FAR INTO THE NEGATIVES THE EQUATION REQUIRED TO EXPRESS IT HAS YET TO BE DISCOVERED.
I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT YOU INEPTLY EXPLORING THE USE OF PAILS WITH A FACELESS FUTURE KISMESIS.
I FEEL CONSIDERABLY ILL THINKING ABOUT IT NOW.
HOW DID THIS CONVERSATION HAPPEN
HOW DID WE END UP DISCUSSING INEVITABLE ORGASMS
GAMZEE, FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU FOR MAKING THIS HAPPEN.

LMFAOOOO

[amoray]

wwoww first you start talkin about yankin bulges wwith me noww this

[crab]

SHUT UP AND BUTT OUT OF THIS PRINCE OF I HAVE INTIMATE KNOWLEDGE OF WHAT HUMAN GENITALIA LOOKS LIKE FOR SOME REASON.

[amoray]

medical textbooks from wwhen i wwas studyin for bein a fuckin human schoolfeedin prodigy
duh
you knoww not evverythins about quadrants and pails you need a fuckin hobby or somethin

[crab]

[ LITERALLY SCREAMING OFF-COM ]

SAYS THE DOUCHEBAG WHO CAN'T LET A THROWAWAY COMMENT ABOUT BULGES AND THEIR POSSIBLE YANKING GO MONTHS AFTER THE FACT.
SAYS THE DOUCHEBAG WHO CAN'T TAKE AN INFLAMMATORY WORD DIRECTED HIS WAY WITHOUT ASKING IF THEY'RE VYING FOR THEIR BLACK QUADRANT.
IF THIS ISN'T THE CYLINDRICAL FOOD INCUBATOR CALLING THE WATER HEATING APPARATUS OBSIDIAN I DON'T KNOW *WHAT* IS.

[amoray]

wwoww wway to lose your fuckin shit ovver nothin kar
embarrassin as fuck really

[crab]

YOU'RE EMBARRASSING
AND YOUR FACE IS STUPID

[ great comeback karkat really ]

[caprihorn]

YOU FUCKING BROUGHT IT UP.
besides this shit is gonna pretty much happen for everyone.
WHO AIN'T ERIDAN AT LEAST.
don't see what's wrong knowing that.

wow no now i get to apologize god

[amoray]

piss off right back to your shithivve murder carnivval you wwould of been HAPPY to get me off like six fuckin months ago
anywway its not like youre evver goin to get a kismesis again so dont wworry about it

This is much worse so I'm not sure you do

[caprihorn]

YEAH, BEFORE I GOT TO KNOW YOU WOULDN'T STICK AROUND FOR MY OWNSELF.
but hey i would have gotten my disappointment on during shit if we ever got at that.
YOU COULDN'T BE FUN IN MOTHERFUCKIN ANYTHING, ERI.
and i don't know think terezi's still interested.
WHO THE MOTHERFUCK HAVE YOU GOT?

screaming and crying tbh

[amoray]

oh you italicized i feel so fuckin special
and eff wwhy aye ivve got evvery quadrant filled EXCEPT for kismesis so you got no fuckin room to run your blister since evverybodys too fuckin shithivve terrified a you to evven consider anythin

[caprihorn]

like diamonds, right?
THAT'S MOTHERFUCKIN FILLED UP TO YOUR PALE BRIM.
hahahaha.
HONK.
honk.
AND BRO I BEEN HIT ON BY MORE MOTHERFUCKERS THAN YOU'LL EVER BE.
let alone have in your quadrants at any time.

[amoray]

wwhatevver

[THERE ARE LIKE SIX SEPARATE ARGUMENTS GOING ON NOW HE'S OUTIE]

oh wait no, an added thing

[caprihorn]

and karkat don't count.
YOU COULDN'T ACTUALLY GET HIM INTO A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF IF YOU TRIED.

[amoray]

wwhy wwould i wwant to hes basically livvin refuse

[caprihorn]

got better blood than your ex.
BETTER STANDING THAN YOURSELF.
better future, too.
NOT SURE WHY THE POND SCUM THINKS IT'S IN A GOOD ENOUGH SITUATION TO UP AND CALL A BROTHER REFUSE.
especially when it ain't even royalty itself.

[amoray]

they havve literally got the EXACT SAME SHADE A FUCKIN BLOOD wwhich makes him fuckin disgraceful and aberration and wwhatnot in either race eff wwhy aye
and holy fuckin shit are you still goin on about the royalty thing theres this thing called the HEMOSPECTRUM wwhich clearly states that youre a filthy nonroyal land dwwellin sort

[crab]

MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP HITTING ON ME ALL THE TIME THEN.
IT'S GETTING GOD DAMN UNCOMFORTABLE.

[amoray]

wwoah those are some mighty fuckin sevvere accusations to be makin kar particularly wwhen they ARENT TRUE NOT WWHATSOEVVER
i dont hit on you youre the one alwways gettin all fuckin hateful wwith me eff wwhy aye

[crab]

YES! ONE DAY, WE WILL ALL, BAR ERIDAN, "GET IT OFF"!
ALL BEHOLD MY PROPHETIC MOIRAIL AND HIS FUTURE WISDOM.
HE HAS SEEN OUR FUTURE AND IT IS CARNAL INDEED.
THE PUBLIC'S RESPONSE TO THIS PERSPECTIVE SHIFTING REVELATION?
****I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!****
NOBODY GIVES A FUCK! NOBODY WANTS TO KNOW!
I REFUSE TO DISCUSS OUR FUTURE PAIL LIVES!!!
THIS IS LITERALLY THE MOST AWFUL REEKING SHIT HEAP OF A CONVERSATION I HAVE EVER BEEN SHACKLED INTO PARTICIPATING IN.
I AM ABOUT TO IMPLODE IN UPON MYSELF AND BECOME A BLACK HOLE OF DISTASTE FOR THIS EXCHANGE.

[caprihorn]

THAT WAS MY POINT BRO.
that shit's natural.
HONK.
imaging everyone getting off ain't a big deal.
CAN PICTURE ANYONE GETTING OFF MYSELF AND NOT GET MY SICKNESS ON ABOUT IT.

[crab]

I DON'T
YOU HAVEN'T
YOU ACTUALLY
JHKJHLKH;LF;KDKFJKNHJKBLJKJDFG???????
FGHDFGHDFGHDFGHDFGHDFGHDFHH!!!!!!
GAMZEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[caprihorn]

what?
THERE AIN'T NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT SHIT.

[amoray]

holy fuckin shit can you just stop

[GAMZEE PLS]

[caprihorn]

stop what?
TYPING ABOUT IMAGINING PAIL SHIT?
i ain't stopping that wicked shit for you.