accidental video (backdated like a week!!)

[remake]

[ The video comes on with a loud crack; you've just been high-velocity butt-dialed, C&C. The whole screen is green and blurry, and hopefully none of you Cityzens have motion sickness because shortly after an undignified squeak, there's a booming roar and that's when the scrambling really begins. ]

Oh my god! Ohh my god, oh my god this was a bad idea! [ A giant green hand comes down out of the middle of nowhere, and Miles scurries away from it over one massive shoulder, and it's pretty clear by now to anyone that would recognize him that the new Spider-Man is wall-crawling uselessly all over The Hulk, trying to avoid being grabbed and Smashed. This (and more comical babbling) goes on for like two minutes before finally: ] Why do I, ah!, always do this?

And why am I talking to mysel-- urk!

[ The video abruptly stops bouncing around when Miles gets caught. Suddenly there's a giant puzzled Hulk face taking up the whole screen, sniffing a couple times and then letting out a big wuff of breath. ]

Uhhh. Hi?

[ Aand the feed cuts! Replies will ICly come in an hour or so after the events in Bruce's log here, so he has time to de-Hulk. ]

Comments

[hexappeal]

[Zatanna, having never climbed up the side of a building and maybe only a handful of times leaped (or swung) from one to another can't comment on that, but the kid went toe-to-toe with Bruce's Big Green Secret, so as far as she's concerned, he's a pretty tough guy.

Zatanna immediately goes to the pug pile, but quickly realizes she's being rude and stops playing with them.] You okay? [She might have hollered something embarrassing after Bruce, but there was someone else present. She'll try to keep it PG out of courtesy.] We can go raid his fridge, if you'd like.

[hulk]

[ Ugh if other people were not here he would just flop on the bed and not get up but. Right. Company. So he's gonna go and grab some clothes and slowly get dressed.

Do dee do, still in his room though. Talk amongst yourselves for a turn. ]

[remake]

Yeah, I'm okay. [ He shakes his head about the food, though. His mom told him that was rude!! (So he only does it to Uncle Aaron.) Anyway, he steps back to give her space with the pugs and plops his soggy backpack down on the coffee table (because he's an irresponsible teenager like that.) ] How did you learn how to do magic?

[hexappeal]

You sure? I was thinking I might go rearrange all his cabinets while he's changing... [Stick with her, kid! She'll teach you all the things you shouldn't be doing! Or, at least things that will entertain you and frustrate the people around you!

Zee gets to her feet and the pugs stop bouncing trying to get her attention when they realize she's done for the moment.] Magic? In my world it's not something you can learn -- you're either gifted it or born with it. For me, it was the latter. Considering your costume, I'd say you're from the same world as Spider-Man, so... same world as Doctor Strange, right? It works a bit differently there.

[remake]

[ Okay, Miles grins beneath his mask. ] Magically or manually? I think he'd hear that.

[ He nods, even though her explanation went right over his head. He's not familiar with most super-activity in his world, just what makes it past SHIELD's filters and onto the news, or what gets captured by cellphones and uploaded to YouTube. ] Oh. Is it hard?

[hulk]

I'd hear what?

[ Shuffling back on out to just flop on dat couch. Cue the pugs rushing over to go nuts over Bruce. They'd missed him and gotten lonely with the singular Hulk-haus. ]

[hexappeal]

I would do i--[She beams immediately at him, eyes widening innocently as she smiles brightly. Clearly not at all a sign that she was doing something she shouldn't have been! Thankfully, the pugs are a nice distraction.] Oh, nothing! Just trying to convince him we should grab a bite to eat, that's all!

[remake]

[ Miles coughs unconvincingly and avoids eye mask contact, shuffling his feet and searching pointedly through his bag for something that's clearly not there. He's mostly trying not to laugh, especially at her reaction. (It's probably obvious.) ] It's okay, I'm not hungry. [ That's a lie, he's a teenager. Teenagers are always hungry. ]

[hulk]

[ Bruce looks between them without actually moving his head from where it's flopped back on the couch (too much effort, really). ]

...Okay?

[ He knows he's missing something, probably? But. Hurk. Tired. ]

But. Seriously. Go. Eat. ...Or at least throw your wet clothes in the dryer.

[hexappeal]

[Honestly? Zee's always planning something, so she's pretty much... always suspicious, really. No different than always and it's not like the idea of moving everything in his house one inch to the left hasn't crossed her mind before. She'll just save it for another day.]

Want me to ditch? You know, secret identities and all that.

[remake]

[ Miles looks up and nods a bit guiltily. He is really, really bad at this whole Secret Identity business, okay? ]

[hexappeal]

Do I at least get a name before I go home? [Totally cool with ditchin', really! It'll be nice to take off the mask, she figures.] Because I don't think you're "Spider-Kid," right?

[remake]

[ Oh god it's so on-the-nose. ] U-um. Actually it's Spider-Man. [ crying on the inside tbh ]

[hexappeal]

Well, it's good to meet you, Spider-Man. If you ever need my help for anything -- [Like the show-off that she is, she holds a gloved hand out and upright, flipping it back and forth to show that it's empty; with a little flourish and flick of her fingers, a business card appears and floats in the air in front of her.] -- my card. Otherwise, Bruce can give you my contact info.

And you! [She turns toward Bruce and crosses the distance, sliding a hand over his head like one would do in passing to an animal.] Take care of yourself. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be letting myself out. Ees ay! [And you bros can let out a sigh of relief, finally. She's gone.]

[hulk]

Thanks again, Zatanna. I mean that.

[ After she poofs out, Bruce just kind of scrubs at his face and lets his hands drop in his lap. ]

Bathroom's down the hall on your left, washer and dryer right next to it. You do what you have to do, and I'll. [ groaning ] I'll take your books and spread them out so they can dry. Okay?

[hexappeal]

[PS!! She dried them when ya'll weren't looking!! Sneaky jerk. c:]

[remake]

[ Miles nods again, a bit shakily, kinda eyeing Bruce, not entirely sure if he's gonna make it. He totally looks like he might pass out. ]

O-okay.

[ He starts fishing through his backpack to pull out the things that would need to go in the machines, only to find the contents already dry. He blinks, before dumping them all over the coffee table; a few books, a hoodie and a t-shirt and jeans, pencils and erasers and a cellphone and a fistful of dollars, just to make sure he's not actually going crazy.

But the only thing that's still soaking is him. ]

--Oh. Wow. Cool. [ a beat ] Was that your girlfriend...? [ THINGS YOU WOULDN'T ASK IF YOU HAD MORE TACT THAN A 13YO ]

[hulk]

[ HE'S CLOSE TO PASSING OUT but. This is not the worst he's been after a Hulk episode, and this time was especially short and not traumatic so. He can stay up a little while longer.

There's an eyebrow as Miles just dumps everything everywhere and the pugs jump to start snuffling at it all because HOLY CRAP, NEW SMELLS. Then he realizes and shakes his head with a small smile. ]

Yeah, she's pretty-- Something. All right.

[ Sometimes magic is handy and he will figure it out someda-

Wait. Miles. What. ]

W- No, she's. No. Definitely no, we're just. She's a friend. That's all. [ beat ] She's going around with James Bond anyway. So. No. ...Again.

[remake]

[ Miles perks up at that. Which is probably the wrong reaction. ] No way, James Bond? Now you're messing with me.

[ He likes dumb action movies, okay?! (But Martial Arts ones are way better.

(Also he is sorta dripping all over your carpet rn.) ]

[hulk]

I've met him. So no.

[ dot dot dot

eyebrow ]

...Kid. Go get changed. You're soaked, and. You know. Carpet.

[remake]

[ Lmfao glancing down guiltily!!! ] I- I uh. But.

[ BRUCE HIS SUPER SECRET IDENTITY ]

[hulk]

[ HE DOESN'T EVEN CARE, MILES. HE REALLY DOESN'T. ]

Bathroom's down the hall.

[ he'll just. lay here. ]

[remake]

[ Miles hesitates for a long moment!! And then gently... picks up his bag out of the pug pile and skirts towards the hall.

He will just wait till Bruce passes out and then try to find his dryer. The air conditioning is making him cold in the wet suit, and he does feel kinda bad about the carpet. So. Yes. A good plan, clearly. ]

[hulk]

...Are you okay, kid?

[remake]

Yeah, I just- I can't- I mean.

[ Lmfao he found the bathroom. And is totally talking through the door rn. ]

I'm supposed to have a secret identity, and everything.