voice;

[amoray]

So.

Any a you ewer had a nemesis before? Like fated fuckin' contentiousness, always gettin' up each others' gills doin' shit just to irritate 'em, duelin' to practically the death, maybe makin' out a little, that kinda thing.

See, I'm in the market for just that particular arrangement, and while I'm personally a master of the bellicose arts and don't need any adwice or nothin', I obwiously got a wested interest in how humans go about poorly imitatin' the quadrant. What with my bein' the main troll-human confidante in these parts and such.

[he pronounces it "con-fee-dawn-tay". also he means intermediary.]

Despite most of you bein' from a society bearin' a sewerely inferior romance system and therefore gettin' your emotions all scrambled up wrong from the get-go 'cos of it, I'd appreciate hearin' some personal tales.

Comments

private;

[aggressiveapathy]

Sorry. It's really kind of stupid when someone knows what you mean and pretends they don't, right.

private;

[enigmaestro]

Do you think that's cute, I wonder?

private;

[aggressiveapathy]

[Aaaand the moment April things she's gone too far.]

Look. I'm on your side, here.

private;

[enigmaestro]

And what does being on my side entail?

private;

[aggressiveapathy]

I don't know. This isn't really my traditional work environment.

[What with the spying on people and shooting ghosts extra-curricular stuff.]

Just. Tell me what to do. If you want him adopted by...I don't know, me or Felicia or aquatic Jesus then I guess I can make that happen. Hinting and innuendo are supposed to be for sexy things.

private;

[enigmaestro]

I -- look, April, I just want you dislodge from his more harmful affairs. I think Eridan could be a dangerous individual.


In fact, I know he can be.

private;

[aggressiveapathy]

But then want to know why he has no adult in his life. So. What is the net hint here. Go for being a neglectful parental figure? A casually acquainted cousin?

private;

[enigmaestro]

Cankerous landlady?

Upon reflection, you do have things under control.

private;

[aggressiveapathy]

[Pause. She shouldn't do it. But when has that stopped her.]

I was right?

private;

[enigmaestro]

I suppose those are words that could potentially approximate the situation.

private;

[aggressiveapathy]

Wow. That sounded painful.

[And no pause this time. In fact it's a little rushed compared to the last statement. Forcing it out.]

Just take your own advice, okay.

private;

[enigmaestro]

I dispense a lot of advice.

[Slowllllyyyyy drawing this out.]

private;

[aggressiveapathy]

You gave it exactly ten seconds ago.

private;

[enigmaestro]

Oh, that advice. [His tone is just a bit sour.] I thought you meant the one about reducing intern intake for the sake of balancing our budget.

private;

[aggressiveapathy]

Oh my god, really?

private;

[enigmaestro]

That's why I asked for specificity.

private;

[aggressiveapathy]

Fine. Be as involved in his violent things as you want. Make it a whole blood orgy weekend. Whatever. Not like I care.

private;

[enigmaestro]

Forgive my perhaps misplaced observation, but you rather seem to care.

A little.

private;

[aggressiveapathy]

[Cue the frustrated growl.]

Well. That's a little stupid of me, then.

private;

[enigmaestro]

Let the record show that I am not the one criticizing you. [Beat.] For caring so deeply about my well-being.

private;

[aggressiveapathy]

No. I am. Because if I'm gonna think about things that want to get violenced I should just start liking Wendy's cows or lemmings or NASCAR or something.

private;

[enigmaestro]

Want to get violenced?

Want?

private;

[aggressiveapathy]

[More sulky then angry now. The rage takes energy.]

Fine. Maybe not the cows.

private;

[enigmaestro]

I don't care about the cows! Screw the cows, in the most metaphorical way imaginable!

You're implying I'm looking for torment.

private;

[aggressiveapathy]

Yeah. I guess. Do you want to know if I'm right?