[text]

[onmyneck]

My New Year's Resolutions:

1) Exercise more. Preferably, exercise my right to die of heart disease at a young age.

2) Be more friendly. Ensure that no one will suspect my eventual betrayal.

3) Learn a language. I'm leaning towards incomprehensible gibberish or pig latin.

4) Get a tattoo of my own face on top of my current face. See if anyone spots the difference.

5) Never give up. There's always something to watch on TV.

Comments

[invoking]

Stop messing around!

[onmyneck]

You have to earn the right to my pirate's gold.

[invoking]

What is the point of all this?

[onmyneck]

I just said. Pirate's gold.

[invoking]

You're just making all of this up!

[onmyneck]

You certainly don't have much faith in people.

[invoking]

It has nothing to do with faith.

[onmyneck]

Blessed our Daria, who art on the Network. Hallowed be my name.

[invoking]

Why am I-- I should just hang up!

[onmyneck]

That was an option from the start.

[invoking]

Oh? Now you're speaking sense?

[onmyneck]

Ignore the sane man behind the curtain.

[invoking]

You spoke normally that other time! [ That other time being VULCANUS ATTACKED YOUR FRIENDS, GIL. ]

[onmyneck]

That was my twin sister.

[invoking]

It's the same name on the network!

[onmyneck]

Her name is Daria Morgendorffer as well. My parents weren't very imaginative.

[invoking]

Don't take me for a fool.

[onmyneck]

I don't. Society does.

[invoking]

What--?!

That is not true!

[onmyneck]

Have you asked them lately?

[invoking]

No...?

[onmyneck]

Then your argument is flawed.

[invoking]

I'm not going to ask strangers anything...!

[onmyneck]

You've already talked to me. I'm a stranger.

[invoking]

We've spoken before, however!