[ audio ] > dave: this isn't going to work.

[hashrap]

Happy April, the SOB who put eggs in my mailbox as an April Fools joke has a date with my fist waiting. It'll be real romantic. A date to tell your kids about when you're old and wrinkly, rocking in your rocking chair and they're sitting cross legged on the ground picking grass because nobody actually cares about grandpa's dates.

So, Easter was not long ago, right? Worst holiday ever. All that chocolate everywhere's like a nightmare to the collective figures of everyone on the planet. Last week I had a dream where I was mercilessly crushed to death by the thighs of the masses while walking down the street and I had an idea. A proposition.

How's about y'all let me take that nightmare fuel off your hands. Free of charge, no catch. Save your thighs, save the world. No need to thank me, I'm just a man.

Comments

[bonermagic]

Dave. [DEEPLY DISAPPOINTED.] I would never give a man shit for choking down as many chocolate dicks as he wants.