capeandcowl | 022 ♍ video ♍ yes this is during school hours

[ the scene opens on the desk in kanaya's room, with her sitting behind it. on top of it is a book turned upside down, the cover showing a large man caressing the leg of a woman mostly out of the frame. loose ends, by c.m. guarde, and kanaya seems to be already halfway through it. next to it is a water bottle half-full of a thick, red liquid.

the curtains are drawn, and the only light in the room seems to be coming from her. she has her chin propped up in her hand, and her eyes are heavily lidded, not as made-up as usual. she hasn't left her room all day except to buy this book. ]

It's funny, isn't it. The things one will do out of a hope for love. How much one will ignore, and agonize over, and consciously blind herself to. It comes to a point where you have to wonder whether Kristof is even worth the effort, but nonetheless, Nora makes no sign of relenting. She believes because she has to, and maybe if it should end in the worst possible manner, she will find a way through it still, to remain with the one she loves.

There's something beautiful in that. Tragic, perhaps, but still meaningful. And maybe it that which keeps drawing me back to the series. If Kristof could have someone to love him so much, could there be hope for the rest of us?

[ she turns the book back over, raising an eyebrow at the text. ] But it's still only fiction. That may ultimately be an unfair expectation of the world.

[ she slides over her bottle to take a quick sip from it. ]

Is anyone else reading these?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I certainly agree with that, we only need not allow ourselves to begrudge reality for not matching the fiction.

Better to accept it. It does get easier, despite how long the road can be.

I hear that said on the topic often, but the indication of its effect on the results isn't readily discernible.

Likely my own fault. Better resolve would provide the patience I lack.

Yes, it's possible. Resolve, that is -- but it's hardly hopeless. Discipline isn't inherent, it has to be learned.

No, it isn't. And that is both encouraging and monumental at the same time. It does leave the possibility of improvement, at least.

[ A little vehemently: ] Oh, don't worry about that. There's always a possibility. Almost everyone stumbles at first, but the key is not giving up.

I'm not giving up on anything. Nothing I said was meant to imply that I would.

Oh -- no, of course not. I mean... just in general. It's important for anyone.

[ He clears his throat. ]

I'm in no position to pass judgement either way, of course, we don't even know each other.

I know. And giving up is simply...well, unthinkable. It does no good for anyone.

Given that, there shouldn't be anything worth passing judgement toward at all.

No, no. Forget I said anything. I -- uh, just thought I should try and be encouraging. If all teenagers were that prepared for adulthood I suspect they'd be far more well-adjusted.

[ did he just call her well-adjusted? prepared for adulthood? nelson, you just made her good list. ]

Well, adulthood can come sooner for some of us.

Oh, yes. No doubt. Times or circumstances force a great deal of people to grow up quickly. Too quickly in some cases, but oftentimes it's for the better.

For someone's better. And that's what's really important, isn't it?

As long as it really is for their better. I think a person's ability to adapt does most of the work smoothing out the transition. [ He pauses. ] Still, it's important to make the most of your youth while you have it.

"While I have it."

Somehow I think it may be years too late for that.

Oh, certainly not. Maturity and age don't always go hand-in-hand.

Well, obviously not. [ that's just what she's always trying to tell adults! ] But one can't exactly go backward, can they? Once you're no longer a child, you can never be again.

No. But youth can extend long past childhood.

Are we discussing youth at this point as a physical quality, or something less concrete? A disposition, perhaps.

It's a bit of both. I know especially at my age now I consider my youth extending from childhood into my thirties.

Funny, I think I could trace the exact moment when mine died.

You'll regret thinking that way when you really are old.

I don't have room for regret. I only think the way I do because I have no viable alternative.

You'll have a better perspective on your life now when you're looking back at it later.

Assuming it will even last that long.

voice

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