video;

[amoray]

[the feed is underwater, and not immediately focused on eridan (though his cape does drift slightly into view here and there). few, if any, will recognize the atlantean palace or its throne room, but the architecture and the being underwater thing might tip them off.]

Considerin' it's been about a week or so now, and I hawen't seen skin nor scale a her, it's pretty safe to say that Namora a Atlantis ain't roamin' these waters no more.

[a pause.]

That bein' said, as the last sea dweller and the only indiwidual who ain't got garbage slippin' through their weins around here, it's only natural that I take ower their palace and assorted territories in their absence. Maintain 'em and such.

Aforementioned territories bein' all sewen seas and ewerythin' in between, for the record.

[he flips the camera away from a meandering lionfish (his name is xerxes the sewenth) and to himself, comfortably sprawled in namor's throne. and being smug as a motherfucker. like literally, he's been super smug about shit before but at the moment his smugness may be mutating surrounding sealife just by how goddamn potent it is.

the lay of his cape obscures the slight bulges under his clothing at his shoulder and leg, for the most part, but his left fin is visibly torn, and still an angry purple.]

As fair and generous warnin', I'm allowin' the humans continued usage a my oceans not outta goodwill, but outta necessity. Mostly since you lungbreathers would probably start whinin' your tailfins off about widespread starwation or some shit if I didn't. But if I start seein' anythin' I don't necessarily like happenin' in my waters, I won't hesitate to fuck some a your laughable tin can ships all manner a up 'til the message starts comin' through clearer-like.

I ain't currently acceptin' wirgin sacrifices or tributes a precious metals and stones, but be watchin' for that in the future.

[he gives a little wave of his ringed fingers at the comm.]

Ewenin', dirtscrapers. And long liwe the Prince.

[end feed.]

Comments

[enigmaestro]

Mm, well, neither was I. [A HINT OF... APPRECIATION?] One must develop the instinct to learn independently, anyway.




Or from me.

[amoray]

You talk like I couldn't balance out schoolfeedin' and you and patrollin' my waters or somethin'.

I mean, it ain't like I sleep in the first fuckin' place.

[enigmaestro]

No wonder there's always sand up your gills.

[amoray]

Pardon?

[enigmaestro]

I said. There's no way you can hear this with that shot up fin, is there. I see.

[amoray]

Quit mumblin'. Wigglers with thpeech impedimenth mumble.

[OOH A UNIVERSE AWAY AND HE'S STILL DISSING YOU SOLLUX]

[enigmaestro]

Are you still not over that kid?

[HE KNOWS WHO THAT IS


YOU KILLED HIM]

[amoray]

Mockin' somebody and carryin' a torch for 'em are kinda mutually fuckin' exclusiwe, thanks.

[HE DIDN'T ACTUALLY ANSWER...]

[enigmaestro]

You're almost as obsessive over him as you were me.

[amoray]

There's nothin' left to it, genius. We were real fuckin' contentious, then I killed him, now we ain't.

Which part are you hawin' trouble with, exactly? I could angle up some notes if you want.

[enigmaestro]

The part where you're dodging the questions I'm really asking.






Kidding, I'm not having trouble with those. I just want to make it clear that you are at present, on the spot.

[amoray]

Your ass is just chapped 'cos a all that mockin' business I was doin' earlier about your dumb embarrassin' spandex phase.

[enigmaestro]

You will never have the pleasure of seeing me in spandex.

[amoray]

It's too bad I got too much dignity to start wearin' it myself; otherwise I might show you a thing or two concernin' how it's done.

[beat. that wasn't insulting enough.]

I guess Norm's the only one who's ewer goin' to get the honor.

[enigmaestro]

You'd look terrible in a -- [beat.
















He legitimately cannot believe you just said that, Eridan. He cannot believe it.]

[amoray]

I'm countin' this as a win.

[enigmaestro]

Why? Because he's paid more attention to me than any nemesis ever will to you?

[amoray]

No, because I got you to shut up for fiwe seconds.

Though it's good to know he pays a whole lot a attention to you, Ed. It's a sign a healthy caliginous affair.

[AND BECAUSE THAT LAST COMMENT REALLY STUNG]

You consider takin' this little black dalliance a yours to full blown kismesisship ewery now and again, don't you?

[enigmaestro]

I asked Norman if he considered your graffiti a threat.

He said no.

[TWO CAN PLAY AT AVOIDING QUESTIONS FOREVER]

[amoray]

Someone stringin' your toys all ower the city ain't exactly a caliginous adwance, Ed.

[BEAT.]

Though it's kind of tellin' that you asked.

[enigmaestro]

How is it telling, in what way? It's not like he figured it was you.

[amoray]

You were makin' sure he didn't feel threatened in your caliginous affairs by somebody else tormentin' you. Probably 'cos you wanted to brace for him tryin' to stake his claim again if he was, but I ain't in the business a quibblin' ower little shit like that.

It's kinda cute.

[enigmaestro]

Cute. Of course.

So how jealous are you?

[amoray]

Scale a one to ten?

Three. Four, maybe.

[that was suspiciously honest.]

[enigmaestro]

[Very, very suspicious.]

Huh. I would have guessed higher -- but the real question is: why admit to anything more than a one?