[text]

[onmyneck]

My New Year's Resolutions:

1) Exercise more. Preferably, exercise my right to die of heart disease at a young age.

2) Be more friendly. Ensure that no one will suspect my eventual betrayal.

3) Learn a language. I'm leaning towards incomprehensible gibberish or pig latin.

4) Get a tattoo of my own face on top of my current face. See if anyone spots the difference.

5) Never give up. There's always something to watch on TV.

Comments

[onmyneck]

It's not as good as it could have been, but a lot better than I feared it would be.

[glowsferatu]

I Suppose Sometimes Fortune Doesnt Frown As Deeply As We Expected
Not To Any Dependable Degree Of Course
But Sometimes

[onmyneck]

It's one of the few occasions where mediocrity is welcomed.

[glowsferatu]

As A Midpoint Between Paradise And Disaster
I Would Accept Stability Any Day

[onmyneck]

From what I've gathered, life as an undead alien doesn't seem very stable.

[glowsferatu]

Shockingly
You Wouldnt Be Incorrect In That Assumption

[onmyneck]

I guess I should become a mind reader.

[glowsferatu]

No One Gives Mind Readers Any Real Time Of Day
If You Suspect Youve Developed Telepathy Then It Would Be Better To Find An Occupation Where Such A Skill Would Benefit You But Isnt The End In Itself
So Thats What Your Power Was Then

[onmyneck]

No. I don't have telepathy. It was a joke.

[glowsferatu]

One Can Never Fully Tell With You
Can You Blame Me For Asking

What Power Were You Given Anyway

[onmyneck]

As far as I can tell, I just boost other people's powers. I'm not sure it will be useful any time soon.

[glowsferatu]

I Dont Know Something Like That Could Have Numerous Useful Applications
If Done At The Right Time
In The Proper Place

[onmyneck]

Would I just make you more vampiric?

[glowsferatu]

Good Question
It Might Mean Enhancing My Vampiric Abilities
Strength Speed And Self-Repair
Or Maybe I Would Becoming Spacier Somehow

[onmyneck]

And in that moment, I swear you were infinite.

[glowsferatu]

What You Mean Like
Becoming Space Itself
Well That Would Be Weird

[onmyneck]

You obviously don't check rumblr enough.

[glowsferatu]

Not Really
I Only Glance At The Occasional Tag Of Interest And Forget When Im Logged Into The Magazines Account

[ which explains all the bloody reblogs. ]

[onmyneck]

I noticed.

[glowsferatu]

Oh
Oops

[onmyneck]

Just claim it as overtime.

[glowsferatu]

Maybe I Need To Design A Line Specifically Inspired By The Tropes Involved
Thus Making My Indulgences Appear As Foreshadowing
A Taste Of Whats To Come
!

[onmyneck]

I'll be sure to lend my expert eye to your fashion.

[glowsferatu]

I Can See The Comments Now
"Youve Neglected The Leather Duster"
"This Collar Could Stand To Be Higher"
"What Do You Have Against Capes"

[onmyneck]

My critiques will mostly be about giving every outfit a giant hat and/or using pig organs as accessories.