☆ video.

[hexappeal]

[James and Zatanna are in what appears to be a moment of domestic bliss. Everyone's favorite couple are in her media room and, more importantly, they're surrounded by rabbits of all kinds. They're on the floor, on the desk, and... mostly curled up near James. One in particular is laying on its back in his lap, fast asleep. The couple, however, are focused on the computer before them.

Zatanna makes a rushed noise and points at the screen, prompting James to stop scrolling.] See! I told you there was a ton! [The screen features a cluster of fanfiction about the two of them, a good number of them seem to be weird AUs and love triangles.

James reads a description of one aloud:] "It Takes Two to Teach Love by TantalizingTwilightFan: Zatanna is the new vampiric vixen English teacher in the City, upon meeting James Bond, her boss and school Principal, she thinks he's rude and obnoxious. Is there more to him than meets the eye? Rated Mature for language and lemons." ...These natives have a little too much time on their hands. At least they understand the part about you being blood sucking.

I'd hit you, if it didn't mean waking the bunnies. [A beat.] What do lemons have to do with a mature rating? I like that I get to be the vampire in this one, though. [She seems a little too pleased with this.]

Vampire or not, it says here that I'm your boss. [He shifts just enough in his chair to somehow look more smug than he already did.] Now be a dear, Miss Zatara, and get us a bottle of wine before I'm forced to drown myself in bunnies instead.

You know, I might enjoy watching that... but I'm only going to do this because I'm too sober to read any of these. When I get back, you better be prepared to read that quality piece of fiction to me, Mister Bond. [She carefully extracts herself from her seat so as not to disturb any bunnies and the video comes to an end. It's for the better that they don't read any of these on the Network. They're looking in the mature section, after all.]

Comments

[doubleoohbaby]

Have you looked up yourself yet, Mr. Holmes?

[deductives]

Considering I have no real interest in masochism, no. Unless I'm informed of someone knowing too many details for their own good, I think I'll pass.

[doubleoohbaby]

I'm sure I could find up some lovely writing of yourself and Dr. Watson.

[deductives]

I've already put those suggestions into the spam folder at home, but the thought is certainly unappreciated Mr. Bond, thank you.

[doubleoohbaby]

Give us you're email, I'll send some over!

[deductives]

Last I checked, the rumor mills were rife with speculation of a gay scene upcoming with James Bond involved. Care to elaborate, if your masculinity so requires?

[doubleoohbaby]

Rumours are an interesting thing, Mr. Holmes. I imagine you realise there's rarely truth behind them.

[deductives]

Of course. But the biggest lies have the smallest bit of truth to them. That's what makes them more convincing.

[He's well versed in that. Too much so.]

[doubleoohbaby]

In this case, there's very little truth to them. You know what natives are like with their enjoyment for 'gay scenes'.

[deductives]

I'd say it depends on the native. Americans do tend to waffle on these things.

[doubleoohbaby]

These natives. The City. And therefore American, yes.

[deductives]

I daresay there's still some of them who hate us perhaps more than the French.

[doubleoohbaby]

The French hate everyone.