30 ☼ VIDEO

[sweetvalleygirl]

[The camera flicks on, showing two female figures huddled in a darkened room, one girl fumbling with the communicator. They're both panting hard, whimpering as they try to catch their breath, and outside the door, something distinctly not human is scratching, howling, and laughing at them.]

It's gonna eat us, Lila!

[Lila only stops making the high-pitched, continual eeeeee (which, really, isn't helping against members of the dog family) long enough to correct Jessica.]

THEY! THEY'RE gonna eat us, Jess! Didn't you see the other one? With the fangs and the slobber and I am too pretty to be puppy chow! That's what you do with used up hor-

[She cuts herself off in a loud shriek, and one hand flies up to cover her mouth. Now that she's hyperventilating under her hand, the communicator's microphone is picking up the distinct sounds of wood cracking.]

Oh my god!  Why is this happening? I want to live!

[Jessica wails loudly, before apparently having a bright idea.]

Hold them off for a second! I have to go get something!

[She accidentally kicks the communicator in her scramble to dart away.]

HOLD THEM OFF? Are you crazy? Why doesn't this place have a fire escape?

[A moment later, though, Lila crawls through the frame in her nightie, clutching a stiletto. After she's offscreen, there's thump and her legs return, bent as if she's sitting and bracing herself. The door is rattling less, but the laughter is getting louder.]

Get some hairspray and a lighter!

I've got something better than that!

[Jessica reappears, clutching what would appear to be a handgun. Yup, that's totally a handgun. And even in the dark, her devious grin can be seen.]

Okay! Open the door! And be careful, I've only done this once before!

[Lila starts screaming her head off at the sight of this.]

Open the door?!? What if you MISS?

[Except that there are wild animals on the other side of the door, and they can't stay here forever. The legs disapper as Lila gets to her feet.]

OK. OK. One, two... THREE!

[Lila wrenches the door open and can be seen throwing herself onto the bed. Meanwhile, Jessica has her eyes closed tight as she pulls the trigger and the gun fires.

BLAM BLAM BLAM!!!

Cue sharp yelping from outside the door for a second, followed by the earth shattering sound of silence.]

Lila? It's safe now. I think I killed them.

[She pauses, staring into the camera with a look of horror on her face.]

Oh gawwwwwd!!

[[ooc: Pink is Jessica, purple is Lila. This is in reference to the Jumanji happenings tonight!]]

Comments

[video]

[undeadsidekick]

Because the network isn't exactly admissible in court.

[video]

[queenbeejeweled]

Good to know!

[video]

[undeadsidekick]

Shouldn't you be dealing with a dead hyena or three?

[video]

[queenbeejeweled]

I don't deal with dead animals. Someone else will handle it.

[video]

[undeadsidekick]

Sure. Someone else will just show up at Laura's and drag dead animals out the front door.

Do you have any ammonia?

[video]

[queenbeejeweled]

A girl can dream.

[Lila ditches the camera for a moment, enjoy the dead hyena view while she wanders off in search of ammonia, complaining loudly about this is why she has servants. Eventually, the camera is picked back up.]

I found a bottle. I guess the roommate's a neat freak, cause I know this isn't Jess'.

[video]

[undeadsidekick]

Right. So you're gonna wanna mix that with two parts water and maybe some vinegar if you got it around. That'll take care of the blood on the carpet after you move the bodies.

[Notice the way he doesn't flinch or seem at all awkward about any of this. I mean, the hyenas are unusual but crime scene clean-up? No big.]

... How rich are you?

[video]

[queenbeejeweled]

[Oh, she does notice and may be filing this away for later, but Lila also tends to listen more when people get businesslike. Besides, she had no clue how to fix it. If she has to crash here indefinitely, she's not letting the carpet get stained. So when she responds, she's already gotten the mix started in a bucket.]

Okay, got everything. It's apple vinegar, but it doesn't smell all that bad. New question - how do I move them without touching them and without dragging blood everywhere?

[Lila starts dumping vinegar and ammonia into the bucket.]

Numbers are so vulgar.

voice;

[undeadsidekick]

You don't. Sorry, princess, you're gonna have to get your hand dirty. See if Laura's got gloves or something. She seems anal enough.

[He sighs, leaning up against the wall of his cell, not that she can see.]

Okay, are we talking multiple servants, or just a butler? Did you take the bus to school, or have a driver?

video

[queenbeejeweled]

[Lila turns her head to the side, calling over to wherever Jessica is.]

JESS! I'm putting that cheap vinyl shower curtain to better use! Ugh, the things I do for friends.

[She wanders off screen, the sounds of grunting, ripping, and plastic shower rings snapping in half and pinging all over the place. Lila returns, throwing the curtain down over the hyenas. She stares down at it, making a face. This is going to be gross. Lila keeps chatting about home as she tries to pull the curtain under the animals without actually directly them.]

Four, on a permanent basis, if you count Daddy's chauffeur. I told him I didn't need a driver anymore when I turned sixteen.

video

[undeadsidekick]

The shower curtain's smart. I was gonna recommend a plastic table cloth or hefty bag.

... I just had Alfred. He was enough, though. Good guy.

video

[queenbeejeweled]

[Lila has set the camera on the floor as she leaps from one end of the hyena mess to the other, inching the curtain underneath them tug by tug. She is determined to not get dirty.]

Thank you. It's also cheap, so not much loss. I'd have to wrestle them into a trash bag.

[She pauses and sweeps her hair back, tucking it into her neckline.]

Valet?

[undeadsidekick]

Butler. All around badass.